Laurie Burton Training

Step Into Your Confidence with One-on-One Coaching

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 01:30:06 GMT

Step Into Your Confidence with One-on-One Coaching

Confidence is the cornerstone of success, yet many professionals struggle to find it. At Laurie Burton Training, our Confidence Coaching one-on-one program is designed to help you unlock your potential and step into the best version of yourself. Imagine standing tall in your workplace, exuding self-assurance as you tackle challenges with ease. With a dedicated coach by your side, this can be your reality.

Our program pairs you with an experienced coach who is fully invested in your growth. They’ll challenge you to push past your comfort zone, inspire you to take on greater challenges, and provide the support you need to meet them. Whether you’re aiming for a promotion, leading a team, or navigating a career transition, your coach will offer personalized strategies to elevate your skills. Drawing on their extensive knowledge and wisdom, they’ll guide you to play at a higher level—professionally and personally.

What sets Laurie Burton Training apart is our commitment to being your champion. Your coach isn’t just a mentor; they’re your biggest cheerleader, rooting for you every step of the way. Ready to step into your confidence?

Visit this link laurieburtontraining.com/ to book your FREE one-on-one session today and start your journey to success. We also have a gift for you that you can download, just enter your info and start your journey.

3 Brave Steps to Becoming a Powerful New You

Tue, 22 Mar 2022 15:55:42 GMT

Can you admit to becoming bored, even frustrated with your level of comfort? I can easily feel disappointment when someone I’m working with or the people in my networking groups will not be brave! I notice when people are too uncomfortable, reluctant, or afraid to extend themselves and try something new.

I observe people constantly – both those that I know well and those that I have just met. It’s what I do because the core of my work is helping others to present themselves in a way that makes them stand out from the rest. After all, it’s a powerful way to get the success you deserve in a world where everyone is constantly vying for attention.

When was the last time you felt brave enough to:

Ask for something you really want
Step out of your normal comfort zone
Speak up about something you truly believe in
Walk onto a stage, up to a microphone, or into a corporate setting

Speaking of Up-Speak

Because so many people speak in question marks today, the practice has actually been given a name. “Up-Speak” is the term for ending every sentence with a question mark instead of a period. This rising intonation at the end of every sentence causes those listening to wonder if the speaker is “sure” of what he or she is saying. It’s a real confidence killer. And while we all engage in this style of conversation from time-to-time, if overused during an interview, speech or presentation, it speaks to a lack of self-esteem and professionalism.

Speaking up with confidence and authority is powerful in the following ways:

Attracts and holds the attention of others.
Permits you to ask for and get what you really want.
Allows others to believe in your message – and have the confidence to trust in what you are saying.

Speaking of Power

Positive eye contact gives you the power to connect with others, inviting them in and communicating on a personal level that impacts and influences. This is how you make a difference. This is how you stand out from the rest. This is how you create more success in your life and in your work.

The power of an attention-getting presentation belongs to those who will be brave – and it begins with addressing your fears. It continues with using those fears to your advantage. Here’s what I mean:

One of the most common fears we all share is the fear of being judged. Since you’ll be judged no matter what you are saying or doing in this life, doesn’t it make sense to make it an engaging introduction or interesting presentation? Knowing that you’ve done a great job in reaching out to your audience results in a powerful feeling of having done your best; that you’ve succeeded in connecting with them. At this point, you’ll be prepared to let go of all expectations and judgments.

Neale Donald Walsch says it this way, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

Speaking of a New You

Your job is to be the best you can be. If you’re willing to stretch your comfort zone you’ll soon experience the powerful new you who is able to enjoy:

Being comfortable at a higher level
Less tension, anxiety, and fear of judgment
Maintained poise and composure, without hiding or sacrificing your vitality or true personality.

You are free and powerful – because you are brave!

3 Brave Steps You Can Take Now

When fear erodes your confidence and self-esteem it’s time to:

1. Step out of your comfort zone

2. Step up to what it is that you know you were meant to do

3. Step into the life you were meant to live

I’d love to help you Rock That Interview or Raise Your Keynote. If you’re ready to get the success you’ve been craving, grab your FREE copy of Animation: The Physical Expression of Your Life Force NOW to get started!

How Do You Define Charisma?

Mon, 21 Mar 2022 22:50:59 GMT

Charisma can be defined as having the confidence to be fully yourself – your most engaging, most charming, most energetic, attractive, vibrant, alive self.

Our charisma training came as a result of a two-day workshop we did with the Marketing Director of a major corporation and his team. We were on the topic of charisma and how it applies to personal development and public speaking when the director made an interesting comment. He said, “Who I am at work is very different from the person I am at home.”

I commented that it must be very difficult dealing with that split personality everyday. “Could it be that you are robbing your team of a whole different side of you? What effect does that have on you leadership skills? Your spontaneous creativity and freedom of thought get beaten down with that kind of thinking.”

Many of us are uncomfortable with using the word charisma in relation to ourselves, reluctant to claim what is special and unique about us — which is ironic, since that’s what charisma is all about. I understand why people feel that way, but consider how much you’re leaving on the table. It’s hard to maintain the energy required to perform at your highest level when you shut essential parts of yourself down.

When we stand firm and communicate from a deeper level than just the surface of our personality, we are giving our charismatic self a chance of being seen.

This young leader decided to take on developing his charisma. While the work was, at times, risky and uncomfortable, he emerged with a whole new way of being.

He was still the same person but now he carried a new kind of energy and sense of self.

People who communicate charismatically have the ability to inspire and connect with anyone. The following quote embodies this quality and lies at the very foundation of the Laurie Burton Training.

“There’s a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost—the world will not have it.”

~ Martha Graham

Every client and every student I have taught has recited this quote. Their assignment has always been to “embody” or express the meaning of the words – so that when they say the word vitality they say it with energy, spirit and passion. It is through this process that they learn a new way of expressing themselves and tapping into the source of their charismatic self.

Who do you know who freely expresses their charismatic self?

The Greatest Communicator – Life

Sat, 06 Mar 2021 02:45:00 GMT

Hello everyone. Before I write this blog I wanted to thank all of you for being a part of, and for your interest in Laurie Burton Training .

I love what I do! Helping people realize their potential and embrace their individuality . BUT, there are times when I have to “ practice what I preach .”

Example: All my life I have been attracted to art, painting and drawing, but I would never attempt it, because in my mind my drawing ability was not very good, in fact I thought it was awful. My mother, father and stepfather were gifted artists. This alone was intimidating, plus the fact I could barely draw a stick figure. In fact, you might compare it to how many people feel about getting in front of group and speaking– they avoid it.

Six years ago I started doing sketches of mountains and trees. I tried western style painting and even figure drawing where you draw real life naked models. That was something! The bottom line (no pun intended), was it just didn’t appeal to me – the approach or the teacher. One day a friend of mine recommended that I try Chinese Brush Painting. That sounded really interesting. I found a teacher online close to me. Let me shorten the story by telling you that I fell in love with Chinese Brush Painting. It speaks to my spirit and on top of that my teacher, Nan Rae, is such an inspiration and a gifted artist.

About a year ago, a fellow artist and friend told me about an art show and suggested I buy a space and show some of my paintings. Oh, I said, “my work isn’t that good, how could I compare and compete with all of the “real” artists in the show?” Does this reaction and thinking sound familiar? These are the same thoughts and reactions that my clients have when they consider how much of themselves they have to put forth in order to “Speak, Present and Communicate successfully. People are going to judge them and compare them to other presenters and speakers. They just don’t have the “talent” or “personality” to take that on.

So I looked at how I have never been afraid to try something new in my life and checked into the facts and the why behind my insecurity about my paintings. How did I really feel about my work? Was I “worthy”? It came to me again, that life long lesson. It isn’t about what others think. It’s about how I feel about my work and in this case my painting. So I got out of my own way, out of my head and into my emotions. I love Chinese Brush Painting. If I could I would do it everyday. There are six or seven pieces that I have done that I can say I love. I should also tell you there are many more that were not very good – but the fact is you only learn to paint a bamboo leaf by doing thousands of them.

Once again, life, has offered up an incredible learning experience to me. We always have something to learn. We must open our hearts to ourselves as well as the others we teach and love. What do you love about yourself? Are you sharing it with the world?

Communicating With Charisma

Fri, 05 Feb 2021 18:31:00 GMT

Charisma can be defined as having the confidence to be fully yourself – your most
engaging, most charming, most energetic, attractive, vibrant, alive self.

Our charisma training came as a result of a two-day workshop we did with the Marketing
Director of a major corporation and his team. We were on the topic of charisma and how
it applies to personal development and public speaking when the director made an
interesting comment. He said, “Who I am at work is very different from the person I am
at home.” I commented that it must be very difficult dealing with that split personality
everyday.

“Could it be that you are robbing your team of a whole different side of you?
What affect does that have on you leadership skills? Your spontaneous creativity and
freedom of thought get beaten down with that kind of thinking.”

Many of us are uncomfortable with using the word charisma in relation to ourselves,
reluctant to claim what is special and unique about us—-which is ironic, since that’s what
charisma is all about. I understand why people feel that way, but consider how much
you’re leaving on the table. It’s hard to maintain the energy required to perform at your
highest level when you shut essential parts of yourself down. When we stand firm,
and communicate from a deeper level than just the surface of our personality, we are
giving our charismatic self a chance of being seen.

This young leader decided to take on developing his charisma. While the work was, at
times, challenging and uncomfortable, he emerged with a whole new way of being. He
was still the same person but now he carried a new kind of energy and sense of self.
People who communicate charismatically have the ability to inspire and connect with
anyone. The following quote embodies this quality and lies at the very foundation of our
training.

“There’s a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into
action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. If you
block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost—the world will not
have it.”
~ Martha Graham

Every client and every student I have taught has recited this quote. Their assignment
has always been to “embody” or express the meaning of the words – so that when they
say the word vitality they say it with energy, spirit and passion. It is through this process
that they learn a new way of expressing themselves and tapping into the source of their
charismatic self.

Who do you know who freely expresses their charismatic self?
Here’s to becoming your charismatic self and……
Happy Valentines Day!

Communicating in 2021

Tue, 12 Jan 2021 04:10:00 GMT

Reluctant as I was to write a New Year’s post, I knew that it would be a good thing for me to go ahead and do it. I’ve always been a glass-half-full kind of woman, so here I go.

When my husband and I brought in the New Year, I didn’t know what I was feeling. Actually, I felt sort of lost. New Year’s Eve had never felt quit like this before. We had always celebrated with three other couples and had been doing that for more than thirty years.

What was there to celebrate anyway? I was still going to worry about getting Covid-19 and keeping “socially distanced” from others. What a dismal term. I was a little depressed but, as is usually the case with me, I WASN’T DOWN FOR LONG.

Many years ago I made a pact with myself. Rather than beat myself up when I was down, I would let it in, I would live in it. I wanted to just BE with my down self, watch it, sort of swim in it. What was it all about anyway?

The next day I felt much better. I was feeling pretty much like myself. I was upbeat for the most part, but something was nagging me. I went outside and watched the trees in the wind and listened for the special sound that occurs when a light wind moves the branches in the ponderosa pine in my back yard. It was such a light sound, I really had to concentrate, but I heard it. I took a breath, what a blessing. So I decided to continue to count my blessings. My family, my darling husband, my home, my dog, my abilities, how I love my work, my health, and my love of mother nature – just a few of the blessings I counted that day. However, along with my blessings I realized there was a deep sadness, way deep in my gut. I needed to hug my daughter and my granddaughters. I wanted to physically make contact with them. Hugging my granddaughters is one of most loving and joyful things I do. Of course, I love hugging everyone in my family but granddaughter-hugging brings a special kind of happiness.

I know it will be a while before I get to hug people again, especially when Covid-19 is so rampant in Los Angeles. It continues to challenge me with bouts of loneliness, but I always feel better after writing something.

I know from talking to my friends and family that I’m certainly not alone in my feelings. It’s funny, but I’m grateful in knowing we are all in this together.

To all of us who have seen movies and read books about a terrible p andemic and never had a thought that we could be living in a world filled with a terrible disease: surprise! Here’s hoping we’re better prepared for the next calamity.

In the meantime:

And

Happy MUCH BETTER New Year

Animation: The Physical Expression of Your Life Force

Fri, 06 Nov 2020 16:09:00 GMT

Having worked for over three decades with people at every level of the business world, I’ve witnessed many aspects of the corporate experience. I’ve observed CEOs, managers, directors, vice presidents and presidents in sales and marketing, design and development, finance, legal and operations departments. The main problem I was hired to solve?- poor communications and presentation skills. I believe this problem is largely a manifestation of peoples’ fears of expressing their personalities and emotions—ultimately, of being themselves at work.

What creates these fears? I believe they stem from the contradictory messages corporations send their employees, who are expected to be businesslike and reflect the image of the corporation, yet at the same time encouraged to feel like they are individuals and a vital part of the “family.” Businesses and corporations often simultaneously pull workers in and push them away, and this mixed message serves to confuse employees about their roles. Should they be “corporate” or “expressive”? Good question: I believe they can be both.

One way to handle this dual directive is to find a way to embrace and be competent in both realms. You must, of course, know your material, but what’s equally important is how you present it, how you communicate it. Animation, emotional poise and confidence are just as important as work-related skills and knowledge. What you say is important. How you say it is perhaps even more important because if audiences don’t hear your message, it doesn’t matter what you said, does it?

Don’t wait for your company to take action—whose career is it anyway?

Can you imagine the human experience without emotion or animation? It wouldn’t be human experience; it’d be robot experience. What a gift we’ve been given as human beings to be able to express ourselves in so many different ways! What a shame so many people need others to speak for them. What a waste of natural talent that could be used to positively affect and influence others.

Blowing Your Own Horn

If you can’t sing your own praises, who will? How are people going to know how terrific you are if you’re not demonstrating your abilities in an ongoing fashion? If you’re constantly deflecting compliments, people eventually start to agree with you.

How are you going to be seen if you spend your time being invisible? You might ask, “Well, how am I supposed to be front and center when I’ve been sitting in the back row my whole life?” You need to start moving up slowly, one row at a time.

If you have begun to speak with passion, energy and animation, people will react differently to you . For instance, if you’re a salesperson, your sales will begin to rise. If you’re part of a marketing team, people will begin to notice how you present a product and listen more closely to your ideas. If you’re the president or vice president of a company, people will listen more attentively. If you need to talk to somebody you’re close to and tell them how you’re feeling, they will hear you in a new way. The result of this kind of communication is increased respect from all those around you . Now, isn’t that something you’d like to have?

Go get it!

Do You Communicate Confidence, or Just Hope for the Best?

Tue, 06 Oct 2020 18:06:00 GMT

Human dialogue, in my humble opinion, has taken a turn for the worse.

Your message is important, and how you deliver your message is equally important. If it’s not received, your message is lost. You don’t want that. We have to take responsibility for what we say… and how we say it.

For example, do you have any idea how you end your sentences? Do you end your sentences with a period—or a question mark? Do you speak in lists?

Speaking in question marks makes the words spoken less impactful, less effective. It’s as though you’re asking for your audience’s agreement, approval or encouragement! At the very least, you’re asking them to confirm they understand. While it’s tempting to use this technique to keep listeners engaged it only serves to demonstrate that you’re not fully confident in your message .

“So, I was working on this project?” (Posed as a question rather than a statement, you’re really fishing for feedback, for affirmation: “Yes? You understand?”)

“And I was hoping for more support from my team?” (“Right? Have you been there?”)

By seeking to keep listeners engaged in this way, you sacrifice your message and your power. It puts the burden on your audience to keep showing you they’re following you. Your message—and how you deliver it—should leave no doubt about your confidence in the message .

There are better techniques for keeping them riveted, on the edge of their seats.

Speaking with a period at the end of your sentences makes what you say a statement, not a question. Statements cause the listener to pay more attention to your words and perspective. It gives the speaker a sense of empowerment, while taking responsibility and ownership of the words they speak.

Start to listen to people speak: on television, in person (with a mask on), on the phone, wherever people are talking. Watch for when someone makes a statement but frames it as a question. The message is deflated and de-energized.

Here is another pervasive habit that people use that does not communicate confidence: SPEAKING IN LISTS. Think of this as speaking only with commas, no periods.

What would happen if I got up in front of a group of people who had come to hear about my business and said… “Hello, I’m Laurie Burton, and I’m so happy to be here with you today, My business, Communicate Confidence will offer you the opportunity to come face to face with who you are, and how you come across.” ?

You’ve all heard this and we’ve all done it. Not quite speaking in questions, speaking in lists makes everything the same. It sounds like this, with a little up-speak (like a little question mark) after each piece. You can picture the speaker counting off on their fingers each of the points they’re trying to make:

(1) “Hello, I’m Laurie Burton, (2) I’m so happy to be with you today, (3) and I’m here to help you communicate confidence, (4) whether you’re making a speech or a presentation, (5) or trying to make a sale, (6) you can make a big difference in how people perceive you, (7) and how they get on board.

Finally, a period! The paragraph above is written as one sentence while it’s really several separate thoughts and ideas. “Listing” them only disempowers each item on the “list.”

You are already showing the audience that your words don’t matter, so why should they want to hear more?

It should be spoken as follows: “Hello! (period, short pause, good eye contact) I’m Laurie Burton. (period and short pause, good eye contact).

This is a very important moment. It says who you are and you must own that moment. You own it by letting people see you, by filling the room with your presence. Giving a warm smile you make eye contact with your audience and say “I am so happy to be with you today.” (period, pause.) Calling upon your passion for life you say energetically, “My company is Communicate Confidence!” (period) Now, with warmth and strength, and animation, you say, “Our programs offer you the opportunity to come face to face with who you are and how you come across.”

The problem often arises when you are not comfortable with being seen. They’re all looking at you, probably making judgments and decisions about you, and it’s uncomfortable. So, you tend to rush through your name and the rest of your intro and slide right into your content. When people are run by fear and uncertainty and have to speak, they do it as quickly as possible, first, to get it over with and, second, to fill any uncomfortable silence. Consequently, the audience is robbed of a real chance to get to know you and what you have to offer.

And, guess what? It all circles back to how reluctant people are to face their fears. I’m asking you to come to terms with the value of your message and, when you deliver it, to communicate confidence.

If You Want a Better World, Learn to Communicate From the Heart

Sat, 12 Sep 2020 02:18:00 GMT

In these uncertain times, can you imagine people learning to listen to one another? Listening from the heart, not the head, is the key to successful communications. We often simply throw out or yell our opinions at each other, when what we need to be doing is less talking and more listening .

When someone is talking to us, we’re usually thinking about how to respond rather than actively listening. Our heads (with our judgments and opinions and positions, etc.) get in the way of real heartfelt responses.

How to listen with your heart

Most people aren’t used to hearing someone ask them to listen with their hearts-it catches them off guard. In order to discover how listening with the heart works, one must recognize that it is bound to take some time, but the end result will be well worth the effort ! Getting our heads out of the way and trusting what our hearts are saying can lead to a new kind of understanding, not only between people of different ethnic backgrounds and social opinions, but also between family members, who can do a lot of yelling at each other.

There is so much self-righteous behavior these days, on both sides of any argument. To make it even worse there is frequently a huge lack of respect for people with a different point of view than our own. So let me introduce again the way to come to terms with heavy-handed opinions.

REAL LISTENING.

When confronted with someone of a different persuasion than your own, who might be trying to overwhelm you with opinion:

Use this practice, and you will make yourself available to hearing and seeing others in a whole new light. It may not be easy in the beginning, because our natural instinct is to stick up for ourselves and convince people that we know and understand the truth. The danger is if our “truth” is delivered with anger, which can then cause our words to be replaced by more violent words and actions.

We must equip ourselves with the tools to de-escalate and defuse this reactive dynamic.

Now you may be thinking, “how the heck do I listen with my heart”? Try not to over think the idea. The mere consideration of listening with your heart will cause a change to begin to occur unconsciously. So keep considering and see what happens.

Our minds are brilliant processors of concepts and information. Our bodies are superior when it comes to relationships. You can’t “think” your way into a relationship. It has to “feel” right, and those feelings are in our bodies, not our minds.

When you listen from the heart there is:

Recognizing and acknowledging another’s truth is a great gift . You’ll be amazed at how it softens you, and improves the bonding in your relationships.

Give it a try and see for yourself!

Tap Your Vitality; A Universal Truth

Thu, 06 Aug 2020 16:42:00 GMT

I started my business, Laurie Burton Training , over thirty years ago. It was and is still based on these words from a letter written by choreographer Martha Graham to her friend and fellow choreographer, Agnes de Mille.

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost – the world will not have it. ” ~ Martha Graham

Please look at these words closely. Are you aware of your vitality – the vital “You” and your experience of being alive? I assume that most of us are born with an innate awareness of our vitality. We’re living and breathing and moving about, after all. Our lifelong job is to develop a deeper connection and relationship with our vitality and incorporate it as one of our basic personality traits. Vitality supplies the power and energy in the way we live. Isn’t it a part of all living things? You are alive! Are you embracing your vitality?

The “life force” is the great drive to grow. It’s what makes a seed sprout and reach for the sun. It’s part of what makes us want to learn to walk and talk and evolve. This universal, underlying force forms a partnership with our own unique vitality, providing the spirit and strength that animates all living creatures with personal purpose and drive. Your passions are an integral part of your life force and vitality. They become part of you, your whole being, that serves as the foundation of who you are and who you’re capable of becoming.

A “quickening” could be described as what happens when something you are experiencing suddenly intensifies

At times, it can feel like what I call “racehorse energy”. You are feeling ready to go, to break through and succeed in the race that your life has presented to you.

So, here is the challenge: to first acquire the profound awareness that each one of us has the power inside to be or create anything – and then do it, express it. To paraphrase Ms. Graham – because there is only one of you in all time, this (your) expression is unique. If you block, it will never exist anywhere and it will be lost. THE WORLD WILL NOT HAVE IT.

What part of yourself do you block to make it easier to get through life? Is it your emotions? Your opinion? Your experience? Your quick mind? Your vulnerability? Your love of animals? Your crazy side?

By hiding, avoiding, or just staying “comfortable”, just quietly getting through your life, the rest of us will be robbed of all you have to offer. And, as a spring that isn’t drawn on may begin to stagnate, our own vitality and life force may become dull and subdued.

So many people in the world desperately need help in becoming truly ALIVE. If only people were taught from an early age how special they are and that there is no one on earth like them! We need to encourage ourselves in this knowing, yes, but also, the people we love and work and play with as well. Embrace your expanded self-knowledge. Come out and share it with the world. If you are a little timid, embrace it. If you feel more vulnerable, include it, because vulnerability can help you be more open and empathetic.

These qualities lead to strength and power supported by your vitality and life force. They will allow you to cause a quickening in people that will lead them to take action for themselves.

LIVE.

LOVE.

EXPRESS.

REPEAT.

Communicating During Quarantine

Thu, 04 Jun 2020 22:58:00 GMT

IT’S JUNE 1st, 2020 and most of us have been in quarantine or semi-isolation for going on three months. Lately, I’ve started feeling more longing to really communicate with my family. Despite our socially-distanced hikes and Zoom calls I’m feeling deprived and lonely. I haven’t hugged my granddaughters in so long, let alone my daughter and son-in-law. We are an expressive family. So,last week I suggested that we all (myself and my husband as well) sit in Council together again.

Council is something I use in my business as well. For years we have offered COUNCIL FOR BUSINESS in a practical workshop form to major corporations.

On our business page on-line there is a brief history and introduction of Council: “People have been meeting in Council for hundreds, perhaps thousands of years. It is a formalized meeting between two or more people where participants are encouraged to speak about themselves honestly and to be heard sharing what’s really important to them in life.

“Council is a place for people to express themselves in a group without others interrupting, and talking over each other, as is so often the case when people meet together. While technological wonders such as smart phones, texting, and email have certainly increased our productivity, genuine human interaction has suffered. Council may be used to solve specific problems, to brainstorm and foster creativity, or to deepen communication.” Read more here: http://laurieburtontraining.com/council-for-business/

I suggested Council for my family to help deepen our communication and to support and strengthen our connection during these difficult times. And to help us experience a new and deeper way of expressing ourselves when we’re together. I’m not suggesting that my family meet in Council every time we’re together, but occasionally to get a grounded and meaningful sense of how everyone is thinking and feeling. Of course, during this time, since Council requires sitting in a circle, my husband and I would have to make it a wider circle. Children should be included whenever possible. Even kids that haven’t experienced sitting in Council seem to intuitively understand that this is a special time together. Children find that they are given the chance to find their voice and establish their place in the family.

Essential to the practice are the Four Intentions:

* Speak from the heart
* Listen actively from the heart
* Be lean (mindful of time and others’ need to also speak and be heard)
* Be spontaneous

Notice that these are not the “rules” of Council; they are the intentions we set to communicate with authenticity and empathy.

The act of actively listening to someone is a gift—of your attention, your interest, and your concern. When someone feels genuinely heard they are affirmed and validated for being who they are.

Reach out and invite some people to sit in Council with you. And let me know if you’d like some support.

The Eyes Have It

Wed, 06 May 2020 23:54:00 GMT

The single most effective communication tool on the planet is the human face . Together with your voice and body language, you are uniquely and supremely equipped to communicate and interact with your fellow beings. There is no emotion that cannot be translated and understood through your facial expressions.

These days these fabulous tools are constrained behind a mask intended to keep others, and ourselves, safe and healthy. Wearing a protective mask is a simple task. It also dramatically limits how we use our faces to communicate. People can’t see if we’re smiling or frowning, if we’re friend or foe, interested or disengaged.

Our saving grace? Our eyes. The eyes have it. What is “it”? The window to the soul. We instinctively look first to the eyes to gauge and carry out our interactions.

Do you find yourself avoiding eye contact now that everyone is “hidden” behind a mask? It’s a natural response. We’re uncomfortable with the doubt that comes with the unknown. Is that person going to do something unexpected? What’s up with them? It’s within our power to derail this inclination and to reach out to connect, despite our wariness.

Now, we’re not completely cut off from our other abilities to connect and communicate. We still have our hands, our arms, our entire bodies at our disposal. However, just like the eyes, we often take for granted how expressive we can be if we put our whole body into it. Whatever your message, whether “it’s great to see you!” or “I’m disappointed that we can’t spend more time together” or “I’m feeling anxious and a little scared about this pandemic,” set the intention to include your whole body and make it be a part of the communication:

From your toes

to your nose

and out through your fingers,

don’t forget those!

Here’s the challenge: With everyone you meet on your intrepid journeys to secure food (and toilet paper), allow yourself to show how you’re feeling with your eyes. You might feel like you’re exaggerating your expression—you’re not. You are showing all of the care and meaning of how you feel and what you want to say in your eyes. Remember, this is mostly all they see when you wear a mask. Don’t let it limit how you express yourself or how you show others you feel. The eyes have it—and you have eyes!

This blog post was written by Laurie’s partner, Dan Brumer.

Communicating in the Year of the Virus

Wed, 01 Apr 2020 04:18:00 GMT

Are we having fun yet?

Here we are, all of us, in this together. That’s the part I like the most . The part I like the
least is worrying about what is going to happen in the future. Every time my mind wants
to go there I try to replace it by remembering a blessing in my life.

It seems that the virus is showing human beings the real meaning of the word human.
Just a few synonyms: mortal, flesh and blood, fallible, weak, frail, imperfect, vulnerable,
susceptible, erring, error-prone, physical, bodily, fleshly.

Yep! That’s us! The mighty human empire has been brought to a standstill by a virus –
something that we humans cannot even see without a microscope. Is this Mother
Nature’s way of finally getting us to pay attention to how we treat each other and the
Earth? It feels like a wake-up call to all humans.

You know what I love about this quarantine? I love opening my front door and seeing
people walking down the street: Families with kids, couples of all ages looking happy
and enjoying their walk, single people, some with dogs (they’re always looking happier)
and some without (maybe not as happy). AND EVERYONE IS SO NICE! Believe it or
not – neighbors speaking and acknowledging one another. Is this the virus alternate
universe?

My happiest times are hiking the mountains with family, friends and dogs.
Standing on the top of the mountain it’s hard to believe Covid-19 is running the show.
I am the most saddened, upset, and feeling helpless when I hear the reports of the many
deaths – the overwhelm that’s going on in the hospitals and my frustration with not being
able to help.

What is it like to be living in high-rise buildings? Then what is it like for
people living in the projects? How do they keep 6 feet apart? I’m concerned about my
fellow citizens, deeply concerned, on a level that I’ve never had before. These people are
suffering and dying at the hands of an unseen killer virus and I assume most of us are
feeling very vulnerable.

This hasn’t become the blog I intended to write, but that’s OK. I just opened my heart
and mind and this all poured out. The funny thing though, we are all communicating like
we never have before and it makes my heart sing. It has become a major blessing and I hope
to goodness we all continue this way.

STAY OPEN

Spring Has Sprung: Communicating Through a New Sense of Life

Thu, 05 Mar 2020 17:28:00 GMT

I woke up last Monday morning to a backyard that was going through a transformation. What had been a quiet, drab and windy weekend outside was transformed into a new version of somewhere over the rainbow. The sun was out, a pair of Mallard ducks were floating in the pool, the bees were all over my Grevillea Long John tree and a hummingbird, two crows and two sparrows were building nests all over the yard.

I couldn’t believe it! Spring had definitely arrived and it was mesmerizing, filling me energy and the need to create and get going again with my plans for the future.

The message was clear: I needed to reinforce and expand my nest as well. A nest of achievements that still needed to be considered. Plans undone, work not finished. I needed to stop procrastinating, to bring my creative plans and ideas to fruition. I had given birth to these ideas. I wanted to guide them to fulfillment. The birds were producing a nest and their every move had meaning and intention. They were also being driven by something bigger than themselves. This was Mother Nature at her very best – from the small piece of fuzz that the hummingbird mother inserted in her two-inch nest to the two-foot long stick that the crow had to maneuver through the branches of the eucalyptus tree. Life had definitely taken on a “forward” energy. Winter had taken a back seat and Spring was making an early entrance. I felt such a spark of happiness and joy, plus and real need to buckle down and finish some important work. This Nature energy or natural enthusiasm that is part of my makeup got me back to cleaning up and planting new vegetables.

You never know where inspiration is going to come from or in what form . In the past when I was down or having trouble writing or speaking I would take to the mountains for a hike. It was a kind of blowout in nature. It was a way to hike off the frustration and get the creative impulses and juices flowing. It’s also the way to listen to what nature is saying to me. Nature has so much to say to each one of us . If you don’t believe me, just ask nature a question and quietly wait for an answer.

It will come. Just trust.

Spring Has Sprung: Communicating Through a New Sense of Life

Laurie Burton Training

How To Communicate Your Essence

Mon, 10 Feb 2020 21:13:00 GMT

Have you ever been part of a business networking group? Do you feel like you get a true sense of who the other members are as individuals? I’m always fascinated by the variety of personalities within groups. Individuals sharing and communicating becomes the essence of the group, giving each group its own unique personality.

Though the business taking place during networking is important,relating at a deeper level is necessary for getting to know others – to communicate who you are – to get to the real business of successfully impacting one another’s lives.

The essence of effective communication involves:

I realize how difficult it can be to understand the fundamental essence, style, nature, character, and spirit of someone in a group setting such as a mixer. Many people try to just get away with simply ‘being themselves’ – with no further thought or intention. But by now you know that doesn’t work if you seriously want to grow your business, successfully market yourself and your work, or build your career to a new level.

If your essence or character is hidden by your fear of being seen and judged – don’t attend this kind of meeting. Selling yourself, your work, or your business requires permitting others to see your authentic personality type.

Are You Communicating Your Essence?

Take a closer look at yourself.

People in every walk of life are under so much pressure today. We are constantly bombarded with the idea that in order to remain relevant, we must do MORE.

Unfortunately, this message often overlooks the most vital ingredient for successfully networking and reaching your professional and personal goals – the essence of YOU.

How To Create Opportunities for Greatness

You must have a deep knowing and acceptance of who you are and what you have to offer, or you’ll lack the confidence needed to relate to others on a level that creates opportunities for greatness !

Try this exercise: Look in the mirror and tell yourself – out loud – what makes you, you. Describe your style. Acknowledge what is terrific. Remind yourself of all you’ve accomplished!

Did you sell it?

You can…and I’m ready to show you how. Schedule your one-on-one coaching session today!

How To Communicate Your Essence

Laurie Burton Training

Happy New Year

Tue, 31 Dec 2019 23:28:27 GMT

Happy New Year 2020!

It’s another year lived on this planet.

It always feels a bit strange, bringing in the New Year. “They” love to sell us on what we can do to celebrate or honor it. “Turn over a new leaf.”

What? Lose weight or start exercising.

I’ve always thought this time of the year puts too much emphasis on success and not enough on why we might want to turn over that leaf and how to successfully meet that goal.

2020 sounds a lot more promising than 2019. Just looking at the two numbers: 2020 has a coolness about it, a softness when spoken. The numbers flow so nicely together, whereas 2019 lacked connection for me. I’m looking forward to 2020.

I know it may sound a bit crazy talking about a number this way but I think, consciously or unconsciously, we are all affected by numbers in one way or another. Just think of the importance of birthdays and anniversaries.

I think we could celebrate the beginning of a new year in more meaningful ways than drinking too much booze with our friends. Why not share our own interpretation of friendship and how we use it in our lives? Celebrate friendship along with the New Year. It’s asking friends to open up about their feelings for one another, to go deeper.

I know what you’re thinking. It sounds like a pretty serious way to celebrate when, really, you just came to eat and drink your way into the New Year. You can still do that, but how about spreading some kindness and love for each other. Obviously, while you can’t do this in a room full of strangers (actually, why not?), you can if you are celebrating with friends.

I have been celebrating the New Year with the same group of friends for the last 25 years. I would love the opportunity to go deeper into my feelings of love and admiration for each person. In fact, I will bring it up before we get together the next time to see their reactions.

As I write about this I realize I have been wanting to do this with my other friends as well. I don’t want to be caught losing someone and realizing I never shared how much I cared about the friendship between us.
New Year’s Eve has passed. The Rose Bowl and Parade are history. However, the year is still new. Resolve this year (and today) to share your love and appreciation for the people in your life.
Celebrate friendship!

A Kinder, Stress-free Happy Holiday from Laurie Burton

Mon, 16 Dec 2019 23:33:39 GMT

The holiday season is upon us – family, friends, shopping, and far too many cookies! For many, a stress-free, happy holiday seems impossible. While you likely desire the warm, fuzzy feelings of nostalgia and happy times spent with those you love, creating these memories can be difficult when emotions are running at higher levels.

More Than Black Friday Stress

Unfortunately, not everyone has positive feelings about this time of year. And these negative emotions aren’t the result of any Black Friday madness created by retailers. Instead, the very real stress they experience is brought about by unexpected and unwanted events, such as:

The death of a loved one
A recent divorce
The loss of a job
Poor personal health

All of these situations can cause the holiday spirit to be shaken, even destroyed completely. Understanding this is important to how you respond to others, and how effectively you’re able to positively communicate with those around you this holiday season.

More Than Average Kindness

Pressures and demands are everywhere we look. And, especially during the holidays, it can be easy to lose the joy of the season by seeing only the work – or the difficult situation – before us. While you can’t eliminate all stress, you can manage it better by putting things into perspective.

What is really important to you?

What really matters when it’s all been said and done?

Self-awareness is powerful, and can be the best place to start when you desire to keep things peaceful and calm. So, start by being kind to yourself.

Don’t take on more than you know you can handle.
Don’t make yourself crazy by setting standards too high.
Don’t focus on what could go wrong, focus on what you’ve done well.

When you are at peace, others will be more relaxed around you. The calm you generate will set the tone for conversations and make the time spent with family and friends more memorable. When you allow yourself to be kinder to you, you’ll notice yourself able to offer more patience, kindness, and understanding to others, as well.

More Than Satisfying
Sometimes, you just need to find satisfaction in the little things. Be careful not to wear yourself out physically and emotionally over things that don’t really matter. During this holiday season, give yourself permission to:

Love generously.
Live joyously.
Laugh freely.
Take a break whenever you need one.

This holiday season, as the pressures and tensions pile up around you, give yourself the gift of living in the moment. Allow yourself the freedom to enjoy whatever that moment offers. Listen to the conversations of others. Tell others how much you appreciate them.

Make the choice – choose to take a deep breath, choose to be considerate, choose to be empathetic.

Everything won’t be perfect. That wouldn’t be reality. But everything will be more satisfying. And isn’t that really what being happy is all about?

Step Up and Communicate Your LifeForce

Thu, 07 Nov 2019 23:38:17 GMT

I recently attended a luncheon for business people and as I looked around my table I was reminded again of the power of one’s individual life force. The dictionary defines life force as “the spirit or energy that animates living creatures; the soul.”

There were a total of six people at this table including myself, but only one other that exhibited what I would call any real life force. I include myself in the count because I was working to make sure I was animated and that my energy was reaching out to the rest of the people. I also made sure as did the other women at the table to listen with animation.

Listening is such an important skill and never gets enough attention.

As an actor I learned a long time ago the importance of listening. Not only in the camera filming the person speaking, but (as we all have observed) it is also covers the person or persons reaction to the words being spoken to them.

Listening is an art unto itself. Really listening requires getting out of our heads and making the person speaking more important than our own thoughts and what we want to say in response.

How many times have you begun to tell a story about an experience and the person “listening” jumps in and says something like, “Oh I know what you’re talking about I had the same thing happen to me, it was a terrible experience.” Off they go and you are left with your story unspoken. This may be my primary “beef” in life – People who are so caught up in themselves, so insecure, that they are constantly pushing their importance forward, rather than just listening with an open heart.

Believe me I am guilty of not listening at times, but I have learned how important it is. When you learn to really listen, you learn to react and to allow that reaction to reach your face. Listening then becomes a non-verbal feedback to the person speaking. That’s what we see in the movies when they cut from the person speaking to the person being spoken to. The audience is usually waiting for a response, which can sometimes determine the next action that takes place.

I do a lot of speaking in front of people and let me tell you it’s one of the most difficult things I do – not the speaking part, but the keeping the audience listening part. Each audience member is naturally going to be thinking of other things when I speak, it’s human nature. It’s the speakers job to keep them listening as much as possible and I do that by expressing myself with

Energy
Animation
Passion

Believe it or not, energy, animation and passion are also an integral part of listening. If you listen with energy and animation people will feel they are being heard.

Practicing these listening skills are what I call “active listening.” And remember to listen with your heart and not your head.

Communicating With Your Whole Package (YOU)

Wed, 09 Oct 2019 22:41:46 GMT

I had a very interesting meeting this morning, listening to people give a one-minute intro about themselves and their businesses.

As a communication expert, I frequently find that what people intend to say is buried or submerged beneath layers of uncertainty and physical or emotional discomfort. A terrible disconnect occurs when our words are not supported by our faces and our voices and our message is not mirrored in our bodies. When this occurs, the message and the medium become separated. If our message isn’t unified, coherent, and compelling people become confused or lose interest. They tend to doubt or question or may reject what you’re saying outright. We know how precious little time we have to make a genuine connection and fan the flames of their desires.

I had a chance to work with some of the people mentioned above, but only a short time. During our time together they learned some techniques to connect their words and gestures. The meaning of words and our interpretation of them is what drives our gestures.

Speaking without gestures on the one hand can be powerful if your facial expressions are animated, full of life and enthusiastic. This applies when one is recording a video in a close up where we don’t see the hands or the whole body.

On the other hand, speaking with your whole body will always increase success, even if you are in close up. Your body’s connection to the words will radiate and amplify your speech.

Not gesturing usually means that tension is in control and the only way to get through the moment is for one to hold their hands in the front of the body in the “fig leaf position” or hide them in their pockets. This is a weak position. It communicates fear or inauthenticity and detracts from your power

What about the words you speak? Words have meaning and it’s up to you to bring their meaning to life. Let’s start with the word “happy.” Let’s use it in a sentence – “I am Happy.” As you think about the word, does it generate a feeling inside? You can use that feeling to support your sentence. Also, what makes you happy? You can use that as well. Now try standing in front of a mirror and saying the sentence. Look closely at yourself. Did you believe the words, were you happy? Did you gesture? Yes? Did the gesture complete the word? You must get to a point where you are happy with the person in the mirror. How do you do that, you might ask? Practice. And getting out of your own way.

What does getting out of your own way mean? Stop judging yourself and trust it instead.

I give you permission to just “act out” the word. Arbitrarily, say it – “Happy! I’m happy!” Say it to that person in the mirror. Make eye contact with yourself. Was it better? Was it uncomfortable? Probably, but that’s because it’s new.

Try another word. Say – “I am strong.” Say it to the mirror. Did you believe yourself? Did you gesture the word “strong?”

This can be the beginning of a new way to express yourself, but it takes commitment and lack of judgment. Be kind and…

Listen to your body when you speak.

Have You Been Speaking a Foreign Body Language?

Thu, 29 Aug 2019 22:45:29 GMT

Can You picture this scenario? You have decided to give a little speech to your team. You are not looking forward to this. Actually, you hate speaking. But, you have decided it’s time to take on your fears. You have rehearsed your words, but not your body. So when you get up to speak, your body is caught off guard . You find yourself standing in front of your people with your hands in the fig leaf position and your feet crossed over each other.

Your tension and fear have placed your body in a terrible position. You have inadvertently (through lack of knowing the language of your body) shut down your ability to relate to your audience.

Think of all the times you have witnessed this same thing happening to others? There are consequences to not being in touch with your body:

You will not impact and connect with your message.
You will not make the sale
People may not be drawn to you and perhaps they won’t want to hire you.

When our bodies are in tune with our words, emotions and intentions and we are feeling confident and in charge, we are u nstoppable.

When the reverse is true, we often feel ourselves losing control of the situation.

Being out of tune and out of touch with what we want to say
Missing the emotions we want to express
Feeling our confidence disappear

What’s left is confusion and a body once ready to present, give a speech, communicate ideas to a team or lead in other ways has become rather like a deflated balloon.

Who you are and what you say and how you say it is the primary job of your body and the language your body speaks. Do you know what language your body is speaking? No two bodies or people express themselves in the same way, thank god.

The most successful communicators have a sense of what their bodies are doing at all times. They have learned how to express themselves using their emotions and words and have established a flow, a visceral connection between a word being spoken and their body’s non-verbal response to it.

So much depends on this “package” that is you.

I encourage you to start taking note of how you express yourself. Ask for some feedback from friends you trust. Look in the mirror and practice saying words or giving a made up presentation. How is your body responding? Is the message coming through your eyes, face and body?

Your body language is one of the keys to your success. Please don’t take it for granted!

If you need help, please contact me today!

YOU CAN DO THIS.

For Better Relationships and a Better World…Listen From the Heart

Tue, 16 Jul 2019 22:56:16 GMT

Can you imagine people learning to listen to one another? Listening from the heart, not the head, is the key to successful communications. We throw out or yell our opinions at each other when what we need to be doing is really listening.

Listen with your heart

Asking people to listen with their hearts catches them off guard. . They need to discover how that works and learn that it takes a little time. Getting our heads out of the way and trusting what our hearts are saying can lead to a new kind of understanding, not only between people of different ethnic backgrounds and social opinions, but also between family members who can do a lot of yelling at each other.

REAL LISTENING.

When confronted with someone of a different persuasion than your own, who might be trying to overwhelm you with opinion:

TAKE A DEEP BREATH,
Look them in the eyes
Set aside judgment for just a moment
Listen with your heart and your body, not your head

Through this practice you have made yourself available to hearing and seeing others in a whole new light. It may not be easy in the beginning, because our natural instinct is to stick up for ourselves and convince people that we have a hold on the truth. And a lot of the time our “truth” is delivered with anger, which can then cause our words to be replaced by more violent words and actions.

We must de-escalate and defuse this reactive dynamic.

Now you may be thinking, “how the heck do I listen with my heart”? Do not over think the idea. The mere consideration of listening with your heart will cause a change to occur unconsciously. So keep considering and see what happens.

When you listen from the heart there is:

Less reaction,
More time to evaluate
The ability to appraise the situation more calmly.

Listening from the heart will provide a more grounded and centered response to most encounters. Recognizing and acknowledging another’s truth is a great gift. You’ll be amazed at the softening and bonding effect it has on them and on your relationship with them.

JUST GIVE IT A TRY

How to Grab Their Attention and Make Your First Impression Count!

Tue, 28 May 2019 23:02:22 GMT

Right or wrong, so much is decided about you in the first few seconds of meeting someone. This is the point where you are often viewed as worthy of the other party’s further attention – or not.

And this is where corporate careers and acting skills often converge.

First – Grab Their Attention

When interviewing for a position or promoting your brand at a conference, you’ll likely find yourself about to make an entrance into a room or onto a stage just as actors do. And, at the end of the meeting or presentation, you’ll also have to make an exit.

These are both crucial moments when making a first impression!

I can’t tell you how many people (actors and business people alike) blow their entrances. They throw that precious opportunity away by:

Rushing, conveying nervous anticipation
Allowing themselves to be led rather than leading
Not using the room to their advantage

Making an entrance should be used as a natural way to sell yourself in thirty seconds. If you don’t have passion, energy, and animation in the first thirty seconds of your interview or presentation, you’re missing what may be your best chance to get the job or make the sale.

Easier said than done, you say?

Here are some strategic tips to make your first impression really count.

If the door was closed as you enter the room, close it again behind you (or simply ask if it should be left open or closed).
If you do close the door, don’t turn your body to close it. Feel for it with a free hand, keeping your body open and facing the others in the room.
Take your time. This takes a little practice, but it’s worth it.

Taking Your Due

Every first impression depends on this often overlooked concept. I want you to understand the importance of what actors call ‘taking your due’. Practicing these strategies will help keep your first impression from being your last one!

Don’t ever close the door and start speaking at the same time. This sends the message that neither you nor your words deserve to stand alone and be heard. Standing with presence and acting as though you’ve earned this moment is known as ‘taking your due’.

“Due” is defined as something that is owed or naturally belongs to someone. Remind yourself that you’ve worked for this moment, and you deserve it. If you haven’t earned it, take care of that later, but for now, act like you have. In turn, people will treat you as if you deserve it. This alone is great for building confidence.

Now is the moment when all of your talents and skills need to be gathered up and readied for positive (and authentic) release. At this moment you should be filled with passion, energy, and animation!

A sure way to grab someone’s attention is to know and use their name.

Give your greeting, followed by your name if this is a first meeting, and be sure to include the name of the person you’re meeting in your greeting: “Good morning, Mrs. Harrison, I’m Laurie Burton!”

Now, here is a first impression decision you’ll need to make on your own.

I always make it a point to shake hands with the person I’m meeting, even if I have to reach across a desk to do so. I know there are some who will totally disagree with this and say it’s an invasion of another’s personal space, and that’s fine, but if somebody doesn’t come around the desk, stand up or welcome me in some way, there is no way I’m going to let that moment pass without making physical contact.

I believe this is an important part of ‘taking your due’ because, in that moment, YOU take charge of the way you’re treated. Make that handshake count. You don’t have to grab the hand, but firmly taking it while looking directly into their eyes can make a strong first impression.

And there is no better way to make a first impression than to leave a great impression!

Leave a great impression by leaving the meeting or presentation with the same confidence, style, and presence with which you entered the room or platform.

Stage actors take a bow, acknowledging their audience. You should also take a moment to pause and sincerely thank those you have just addressed. Give them a reason to remember you and you give yourself the potential for an encore performance.

The Handshake – Your Ultimate Letter of Introduction

Fri, 03 May 2019 23:18:19 GMT

We spend considerable time and money on our business cards because they represent us and our company. You wouldn’t think of handing someone a bent, tattered or smeared business card. The same thinking applies to how you shake hands.

The handshake is one of the most important things we do. It is at the core of our personal development. How we shake hands speaks volumes about who we are and how we feel about ourselves, and how open and available we are to others. It’s not just our handshake that’s revealing, but also how the rest of our body takes part in this act.

Have you noticed some of these less-than-effective handshakes?

The Halfer: When I get the the “half-a-hand,” I become suspicious. Is this person afraid if they make full contact with their hand they’ll give too much of themselves? Are they uncomfortable making full contact and so offer only half? Men often shake women’s hands with a dainty “halfer” which feels like a power play, with the woman viewed as worthy only of partial engagement. Women often shake each other’s hands with a halfer as well. Are we afraid of appearing too masculine?

The Limp Noodle: The limp handshake makes me wonder if the person is really present. I’m tempted to check for a pulse. If this is the level of energy they are offering to the world, what does it say about their personality?

The Bone Crusher: As a woman, I’m particularly puzzled by this insensitive power play. Though mostly delivered by men, there are also women who give bone crushers perhaps to assert dominance. What are bone crushers compensating for or proving? Perhaps they indicate self-importance, insecurity or maybe just cluelessness.

The Bone Crusher Pull: This relative of the Bone Crusher seeks to dominate the interaction even more by crushing the hand and pulling the person towards him at the same time. This person clearly seeks to define the interaction on his terms, not yours.

The Push-Away: Some people give a handshake and at the same time pull away. It’s as if they can’t wait to get it over with, or end the awkwardness it makes them feel. This is a person who is not comfortable with contact.

The Hit & Run: This person barely makes contact with your hand. They never heard your name, probably made poor eye contact and were likely too caught up in themselves to care.

A terrific handshake can confirm or cement a relationship – or start one! Practice these techniques to enhance your personal and professional image:

What Makes a Great Handshake?

1. Face the person with your whole body, standing squarely on both feet, if possible.

2. Lean slightly towards the person —remember, you are extending yourself.

3. Offer your whole hand, even if they offer a “halfer”.

4. Make solid eye contact

5. Bring your personality into your handshake

7. Smile!

8. Extend a sense of confidence, security and warmth.

Physical contact is at the core of the handshake and needs to be re-examined by many businesspeople as a part of the way they conduct business communication. This classic gesture of greeting is a physical exchange of who you are. Men and women alike need to be present and offer a firm, full-contact handshake.

Remember, when you extend your hand, you are extending yourself and showing that you want to connect with someone – Make the contact a favorable one for both of you!

There are times when a job or a deal can depend on this one gesture. All things being equal, which person would you hire: the one with the great handshake, who is energetic and warm or the one who offers half a hand, has low energy and is rather reserved?

Are You Communicating in the Best Gear?

Thu, 04 Apr 2019 23:49:19 GMT

I just posted a quote on my Facebook page that reads

“Life is like a ten-speed bike—

Most of us have gears we never use.”

Charles Schultz

Who can deny that pithy observation? My first response is “Why do we settle for limiting ourselves to two or three gears? The main reason is that our “comfort gears” are reliable—and where we feel safe. They have supported our ventures for many years. “Comfort” and “Safety” are important needs but are you really content to stay tied to the dock? Don’t you long for more?

Confidence is the feeling that you can meet and address any needs that may arise. Build your confidence gears and life becomes easier—and more fun!

It’s hard to argue with the idea that there might be much to gain from learning to use our other gears—let’s call them “skills”— but it does require a need to stretch and grow and a desire to change things up. To be willing to take on change, positive change, that can change the way you do things, or the way your present yourself. No settling for less, but demanding more. More of who you really want to be. Right now, at this moment in time, you may not have the answer to who you really want to be, what skills you want to work on. That’s okay. If your eyes and ears and heart are open, the world is at your feet.

Gears on a bike allow you to cover more ground with less effort, whether up hill or down, fast or slow. The higher skills that you want to build to enhance your style of communication will also allow you engage people on many levels.

Perhaps most of your life people have thought of you as shy or not one to take part in conversations and you want to change that perception. A good place to start is your body. You receive impulses from the world around you but it’s up to you to recognize them, accept their truth and to respond from that place. The human body (and face) is the single most effective communication tool on the planet. It is one of our most precious gifts as humans—and it has almost unlimited “gears” with which to engage and connect with the people around you.

How are you in your body, where it all begins? What are you projecting with the way you sit, the way you walk, the way you speak?

What energizes you? What makes you feel energetic? Bring it into your body and (while you’re at it, allow these “energy experiences” to show on your face and in your voice. It may not feel as “safe” as you’re used to feeling, but if you practice this way of being in your body, consciously bringing your inner needs and desires present, you will begin to feel very different, I promise. I call this skill, “bringing your body to life” or “recognizing and expressing the life-force within you.”

Energize your body and then use that energy to meet whatever situation you’re in!

Remember, change requires commitment but it will reap rewards. People will begin to see you in a whole new light. When you are feeling confident in this new energetic way of being, try taking part in a conversation. Start small; you don’t have to come forth with a long-winded opinion, but rather a small point that you would like to add to the conversation. Before you meet with people determine that you will listen to them carefully and receive whatever it is they are saying. Then, check in with your body and listen for the visceral response to what they’re saying and then see if there is something you want to contribute. Determine that you want to take part and in what way you will do that.

DON’T LET YOURSELF OFF THE HOOK!

It’s all right to be nervous and embarrassed or feeling on the spot. The best part is, this hardest part of making a change to your life, “to begin,” is over quickly. Once you have begun the road will rise to meet you as you create the life you want for yourself and become who you are destined to be.

Here’s to all of us and the changes we make.

Authenticity is Easy: The Passion Ploy

Tue, 05 Mar 2019 00:52:58 GMT

Last week at my networking meeting, I asked my fellow team mates if they could make a list of 10 things that they are passionate about. Most of them raised their hands. “Really,” I said, “you are all that in touch with your passions?”

“Ok,” I said, “I’m going to give you all a minute or two to show me how much you know yourselves. Take out a paper and pencil and make your list. These passions should flow out of your mouth, because you know them so well.”

Well, no surprise, they didn’t know their passions as well as they thought. “Why did I ask you this question about your passions, I asked?” Someone answered, “So that we can use these passions in our one-minute presentations?”

(Every week we all give a one-minute presentation about our businesses and ourselves) “Yes, your passions can serve as the energetic and emotional core of your talk,” I said. From there, your story will be more engaging and compelling, infused with life.

Think about that. If you are in touch with one of your passions before you present, the life and animation that lives in that passion will carry over into your presentation.

The secret is to make real contact with that passion.

Let’s say the passion you’ve chosen is skiing. Then you have to imagine how you feel when skiing. Are you filled with the joy of being alive? Do you feel like you can conquer anything, any turn, and any mountain? How about how being in the beauty of nature makes you feel? In this moment allow your memory of the experience fill your being. Now, give your presentation energized with the passion you have for skiing re-membered—you’ve put it back in your body and it is available to you. Does this make sense?

I know it does right now, but the problem arises when walking up to give your presentation, you quickly forget your passionate response when tension starts to rear its ugly head. Too often, tension heightens the fear factor and people give into it, being driven to get off the spot where all eyes are on them. I know it can be very intimidating. That’s why my clients practice multiple techniques for dealing with the tension demon.

Back to you: Make a list of 10 of your passions. Give yourself 5 minutes, maximum. If you have difficulty, determine to go for some part of every day with the spirit of discovery. Note what you were passionate about in that day and add it to your list. You may reacquaint yourself with passions you’ve neglected, maybe rediscover your love of drawing, etc. If you don’t have even one for that day, lower your standards!

Here’s an idea: for one day, or one hour, or just one moment, choose to be passionate about whatever is before you — sweep the floor with passion, live your life with passion!

Good luck to you all. This is a lovely journey to be taking.

5 Steps to Unshakeable Confidence

Fri, 08 Feb 2019 00:57:34 GMT

Do you know what it is to have Unshakeable Confidence?

A truly great communicator is someone who can translate human thoughts, feelings and emotions, making them come alive so that others are moved by them ; but for many people, sharing ourselves, our emotions and feelings and creating a genuine connection with others can be a very challenging task.

The ultimate challenge is to be willing and able to cause people to feel something, to have an experience. How to do this is an art—but not a mystery.

How Can I have Unshakeable Confidence? Here are a few steps to get you started on your journey:

1. Create an internal, independent support system.
Practice showing yourself the kindness, patience, love, and forgiveness you endeavor to extend to others. Psychotherapist Cynthia Wall writes “No one can be as consistently supportive of you as you can learn to be…Loving and caring for yourself not only increases self-trust, it also deepens your connection with others.”

2. Know, accept, and appreciate who and what you are.
It starts with your awareness of and appreciation for your unique qualities. What makes you “You”? If you can’t accept and truly appreciate who you are, others can tell and it will seriously undermine your power and influence—and confidence.

3. Recognize that you are armed with all this ammunition to sustain and encourage yourself and build self-esteem. Sometimes acting as if you have confidence can be indistinguishable from the real thing and gives you the experience of being seen as confident. Then, when people treat you as a confident person it is self-reinforcing: it helps you build the natural, genuine confidence that is so compelling and powerful.

4. Make sure you are ready to risk failure and success
You will find that success is rooted in your ability to understand and express your life force, the vitality and motivation that drives and inspires you. Though failure seems like the greater risk, make sure you are prepared for all that may come along with the success you desire!

5. Begin to explore and build on a foundation of trusting your impulses and perceptions.
Trusting yourself doesn’t mean you have to achieve perfection. It simply means that you acknowledge that you possess within you the strength, intelligence, and kindness to get through any situation with grace. Trust that you can and will make the right decisions for you.

Once you become more aware, accepting, and appreciative of who you are, you can accept the challenge of becoming your greatest self . This will put you on the road to Unshakeable Confidence – the ability to stand with responsibility, power, and poise in the face of any situation.

Happy New Year!

Thu, 10 Jan 2019 01:02:18 GMT

What’s different on January 1st? What’s new? Not much when you think about it.

We use forms and categories like years and months and weeks to divide and conquer our lives one day at a time. The change of year seems more “momentous” because we’re in that year or “form” of 2019 for quite a while.

“January” has some “new” cache because it’s so associated with the “new” year, the beginning, again.

I choose to look not just to The Promise of 2019 but also to the daily and even moment-to-moment new opportunities to make peace, to create change, to expand and explore.

Every day, every moment, is an opportunity to choose, anew. Your choice.

Fresh chances to choose to be connected and to be of service. More options to choose peace over war, to choose love over hate, to reach out rather than recoil.

If we’re aware of our moment-to-moment experience and open to whatever each moment may bring, we have greater access to our own power, vitality and effectiveness.

I just quoted Deepak Chopra in my Facebook post and I want you to receive the quote as well. It says, “My true self contains every possibility.” Wow it’s right up my alley! You see every time you want to make a presentation or connect with someone the required skills are right inside you. You only need to trust the process and engage a new you!

May your New Year be filled with health and happiness, connection and compassion. Live your life to its fullest in each and every moment in 2019!

With deep appreciation for the world I’m living in, including you.

~Laurie

Once More, With Feeling

Sat, 01 Dec 2018 01:04:55 GMT

I looked up the word “feeling” just for fun to see what insight I might gain from a new definition. I do this often because I know a fresh perspective on a word or sentence can inspire a whole new way of thinking.

One definition of feeling: “the emotional side of someone’s character, emotional responses or tendencies to respond, showing emotion or sensitivity.”

Some of what I do involves helping people discover and appreciate their emotional point of view. Our feelings and emotions change subtly, from moment to moment, depending on the sensory input a person is receiving in the moment.

A Powerful Tool

Becoming aware, comfortable and fluent with your emotional point of view is a powerful tool. Effectively expressing your emotional point of view is the secret ingredient that makes for a great speech or presentation. The greatest leaders are admired for their strength and poise, impossible without frank and intimate self-awareness and self-acceptance.

Why are so many people afraid to express their feelings and emotions? Because vulnerability is frightening. If people express themselves and reveal the truth about themselves everyone will see them and if they are seen they will be judged, a frightening prospect if you don’t want to been seen or judged.

Have you ever watched a speech and found it boring? That the presenter had given a one-note presentation? That’s probably because the speaker hadn’t connected with the audience with authenticity and that usually involves some vulnerability.

Developing awareness of your emotional point of view has a cumulative effect. When your “feelings” aren’t an intrusion but become part of your living, breathing communications, you will naturally find deeper levels of connection to others. They will notice that you are more attuned to their feelings as well. Be there and empathize. Let them know you feel it too.

You would be surprised how much trust is born when people share their emotions and feelings. As a teacher, the frustrating part for me has always been getting people to look past the fear that they might look foolish expressing themselves in this new way. Fear of failure runs deep in so many people. But the thing is the fear keeps leading them down the same failed journey.

The Importance of Demonstrating Foolishness

One of my favorite things is “demonstrating foolishness” to prove it’s not fatal. It’s fun! AM I a fool? NO! Unless you are an actual “fool,” don’t worry too much about “appearing” foolish for a moment. Your confidence supports you.

I swear to you – if you decide to take on your fears, no matter what they are, and meet them with some honest feelings and emotions you will come out of the shadows and into the light of being seen and heard!

Choosing What You See, Choosing How You Feel

Thu, 01 Nov 2018 00:07:35 GMT

They’re back!!! Once again, the holidays are upon us. Does it seem like more people than ever are lamenting what’s coming? Could it be they’re not looking forward to the cycle of pressure, obligations, expectations, and disappointments? The older we get the faster our life cycles come around and the big banner holiday events may come to feel compulsory or even repetitive — the same group, same family, same old stories…blah, blah.

Yes. I have felt some version of this each year at about this time. Thankfully, it’s never taken hold of me because I take hold of myself first!

Rather than see the driver who cut me off as inconsiderate and rude I can actively decide to empathize and see her as rushed and distracted—and let it go.

Sometimes the choice comes after I’ve already “gone there.” Watching a young boy drag his mother toward the toy store I caught myself thinking “Well, HE’S spoiled!” That thought screeched to a stop because, as they walked past me and I watched them more closely, the little boy looked up at his mom with the purest love and happiness I’ve ever seen. He didn’t seem spoiled or ungrateful at all. My first judgment could have been final — negative and dismissive. By choosing to pay closer attention (to look again or “re-spect”) I received the gift of being proved wrong in the best way… I was uplifted.

Make the Choice!

This year, as the pressures and tensions of the holiday season pile up, choose to take a deep breath, choose to be considerate, choose to be empathetic.

I choose to see the world as one of infinite possibilities. In any given moment I may have to remind myself to make that choice. When I catch myself being closed or judgmental I remember that I can choose instead to see the good. I can choose to feel good. You can, too! I give you permission.

Is Your Communication Stuck in a Low Gear?

Sat, 29 Sep 2018 00:12:53 GMT

“Life is like a ten-speed bike;
most of us have gears we never use.”
~Charles Schulz

I have mentioned before that I am a member of a networking group that meets from 8:00-9:30 every Friday morning. There are more than 30 people in the group, which includes lawyers, financial advisors, insurance specialists, a nutritionist, plumber, organizer, myself and other business professionals.

Every week, each one of us is invited to give a one-minute presentation on what our business is all about and who might like to take advantage of our work. We do quite a lot of networking within the group and that’s good.

I have discovered, however, that many people do not like to do their one-minute presentation. It’s the same problem that causes seventy-five percent of the population to say they would rather have a tooth pulled without anesthesia, than have to present in front of a group.

I started this post with the quote from Charles Schulz because it speaks directly to the way so many people present themselves. They use only one gear (usually a low one) when speaking and all the other gears or facets of their personality are left untouched.

Why the Attitude?

It’s fear, of course. It’s driving the need of the fearful or unconfident or unskilled presenter to get off the spot and safely back in their chair or off the stage.

To challenge ourselves to use the other gears we possess requires a commitment on our own behalf. Think of it as a “change order” for life.

The good news is that this is a choice, a decision to make a change in your behavior and in the way you communicate with others. This new choice to embrace growth and change will become a major adventure in your life.

Make the Decision

You have decided to take on your fears, to wrestle with the tension demon, and win.
You have decided to make a new path in your life journey.
You are saying to yourself, “I am making a change in how I choose to express my life force.”

Please remember to be kind to yourself. This life change requires patience and trust in your “instrument” (your body, face, voice and personality) and how it behaves. One step at a time, don’t try to use all your gears at once or you will find yourself out of control and lacking the knowledge as to how to move confidently from one gear to another.

Make the Change

Start by getting on the bike and deciding which direction to head in your new life journey. The decision alone is uplifting and encouraging. As you gain confidence you will find the old, low-gear modes less fulfilling. In fact, staying in a low gear when you’re ready to move ahead will actually hold you back. Ready? Pedal steadily and find your next gear and the next and the next.

Trust in yourself. You can do it.

Laurie Burton Training can give you the tools to help you make the most of all your gears! Contact us today !

What You Didn’t Know About Connecting With Your Passion

Fri, 31 Aug 2018 00:15:49 GMT

How does knowing what you’re passionate about lead to a more successful career, and in turn, a more successful life? Passion is the most compelling part of our emotional makeup and in many ways, defines who we are and how we communicate who we are .

People respond to passionate expression. Passion is one of the most powerful ways to express our life force and has the capacity to profoundly influence and affect others as well as shape our own destiny. When we are intimately in touch with and skilled at expressing our passion, people perceive us as more colorful and alive. It’s as if we have discovered our own personal, internal paint box and know how to paint with any vibrant color we want, any time.

The Problem

Passion is an essential element of our life force and is intrinsic to our human nature. Unfortunately, most of us are going too fast and are too stressed out with work and family and life in general to take stock of what makes up our passionate nature. We take our life force for granted, barely aware of its potential strength and power.

If your foundation isn’t strong and filled with a variety of passions – or just a few that run very deep – then your communications may lack strength and variety.

The Solution

You simply need to start noticing, welcoming and examining every aspect of your daily life that makes you feel something, that causes an emotional response.
In incorporating these passions into your daily life, you will start to build a solid foundation from which to communicate all kinds of emotional life. People will respond to that – and to you!

Try This Exercise

Let’s try a little exercise. Can you write down 10 things you are passionate about in 10 minutes? Did you make it to 10? Was it difficult? Most people get to about 5 things and they get stuck. I don’t think that’s because they don’t have the answers, rather, they don’t take the time to truly absorb and appreciate the things in life that really move them. One roadblock is that they may not even recognize the innate value of their life experience and its connection to passion.

What are the results of being in touch with your passion?

You are connected to all your senses,
You feel self-confident,
You quit doubting yourself,
You naturally release your true feelings, emotions and expressions.

This connection with passion is the first step toward meaningful expression and successful communication . Information about the world comes to us through our senses . Since it is these same five senses that stimulate our responses to life, we need to expand our knowledge of them and how they affect us and give rise to our emotions.

If you are looking for big changes in your life and career , you must take the first step and discover your passion.

The NEXT step is finding that connection, and that’s what we do here at Laurie Burton Training. Contact us today to begin your journey!

Communicating With Nature

Fri, 20 Jul 2018 00:18:38 GMT

Nature and animals have always been a major part of my life. I live on a corner in the foothills bordering Topanga State Park, California, from which we have rescued dogs, cats, baby crows, several sets of hummingbirds, possum, and now my duck story.

The Duck Story

About 6-8 weeks ago a Mallard male and female pair started coming to our pool almost every day. They would hang around for hours in the afternoon and then fly away at night.

I was pretty sure they had mated and now the female seemed to be looking for a place to nest.

Two weeks later I had my trees trimmed, with the landscapers’ promise to be on the lookout and that they would come to me if they found any nests. The next day they came across the female duck apparently sitting on a nest and steered clear. When she was away I checked out the spot and it seemed to be a good one, nicely hidden at the base of a huge eucalyptus tree behind some bamboo: a salad-bowl sized nest, thickly lined and feathered with her down, cradling thirteen bluish eggs.

I had no idea how long she had been sitting on the eggs (it takes 28-30 days for ducklings to hatch) but I decided to keep an eye on the little mother and her clutch of eggs. Every day about dusk she would take a bath in the pool before she would sit all night on the nest. This went on for many days. I would talk to her softly as I checked her out. I like to think she got to know me. After all, she chose our house, our pool, our garden to brood her young.

Amazingly, one morning there she was in the pool with all thirteen chicks swimming in tight formation around her. I’d learned the chicks can easily get waterlogged and drown if they can’t get out of the water as their oily feather coating hadn’t yet developed so I worried that they wouldn’t be able to hop out of the pool. I made a couple ramps out of chaise legs and towels and while some did manage to jump out, others struggled and failed until they found one of the ramps. Mama led them out of the yard that day and they were gone, on to their lives in the world.

A couple weeks ago, she was back. Though it was late in the season, she could very well lay more eggs so I kept an eye out for signs.

Last Friday after midnight around one o’clock in the morning I was awakened by a loud quacking.I heard right away that it wasn’t a normal quack. This was a distressed quacking. I ran outside and Mama duck was very upset. I knew right away what was wrong. I woke my husband, “Dan, come out and bring the big flash light.” We rushed to the back yard where the nest was and the flashlight revealed my worst nightmare. There was a fox with a ducking in its mouth. I yelled something at it and it dropped the baby. I rushed to pick it up. It was barely alive. This precious baby ripped from its shell. Its eyes opened, trying to live, but then the eyes closed. It died in my hand, fully formed, but never to swim with its mother. I was overcome with grief! What about the nest? Frantically, I pushed past all the leaves. The nest was empty! What happened? Where had they gone? I tried to think.

Either there was one egg in the nest or the fox had wiped it out.

I went back to mama. She was still quacking, an incessant and plaintive squawk.. I put the dead baby by the side of the pool so she might see it, but I don’t know that she did. She quacked all night long. I suffered with her. I was sure she had been terrified by the fox, and that she had fled for her life.

The next morning I buried the baby. Mama stayed all day. At one point she flew to the top of our meditation house, which overlooked the yard with her nest. I watched as she disappeared. “Oh, no, I thought, she was checking the nest. I watched from behind the closed door as this little duck mother to be, waddled through the whole yard looking for her babies. I cried tears of anguish as she tilted her little head to look around each bush and found nothing. She returned to the pool for a while and then flew off. She has been back the last few days, but I know sooner or later she will fly south with the rest of the mother ducks who have sat patiently on nests only to be robbed of their young by yet another predator.

She has shown me again how quickly life can turn. She is a young mother of nature who knows it well, but she seems to always come back quacking. Was she quacking to me? Surely not. But I received the communication and it affected me and I got involved and that is what life is all about.

Embrace the World Around You

We professionals are driven, always advancing our agendas, shaking the world. Communication often reads as “what we say, how we say it, how well we’re understood.” It ALSO means receiving communication from those around us, even if it’s difficult or painful. Communicating with Nature is rich, thick with undeniable truth. It’s humbling and inspiring. We naturally project our needs, desires and visions onto our experiences. This helps us understand and our place in the world.

I share the painful reality of this story to invite you to keep communicating who you are fully and joyfully AND to embrace the larger world around you (even in your back yard)—and Listen.

Wishing you all the best of life and nature,

Laurie

Communicating In Spite of Your Tension

Tue, 12 Jun 2018 00:22:05 GMT

Let’s talk about some specific moments that can fill us with tension. Since most people’s worst fear is speaking in front of a group, let’s start there. You may be saying “There is no way I would ever give a speech in front of an audience, and the type of work I do would never require it.”

While that may be true, at some point, you will almost certainly be put on the spot in one way or another. You will be required to take command of a given moment at work or in your personal life. It could be a presentation, a job interview, a meeting— or a toast at a family dinner.

What you want in that moment is to be emotionally poised: comfortable, in charge, energetic, fairly relaxed and natural.

What usually happens to most of us when we’re on the spot, especially if we are on our feet, is that we feel totally exposed. The dreaded demon tension takes over, we lose our train of thought and our faces become frozen, flushed with embarrassment or drained of color. We don’t know what to do with our hands and our legs tremble. Sometimes we lock our knees just to keep them from shaking.

You’re Not Alone!

Mind you, you’re not alone. They don’t call it stage fright for nothing! How many times have you watched speakers who cross their hands in front of their bodies, as if holding on for dear life? This is known as the “fig leaf” position. You may have witnessed the reverse fig leaf, where speakers hold their hands behind their bodies. This is a very natural response, but it’s protective, not productive. When we’re afraid, we want to hold onto something and/or protect ourselves. The problem is that it’s not an effective way to communicate with presence and power. Rather, it looks weak and does nothing to reinforce the speaker.

Allow Yourself to be Seen

People also like to use podiums for protection. What a perfect thing to hold onto and hide behind! I know people who swear that it’s impossible to make a speech without their podium, but there are ways to work with it and without it. If you must use a podium, purposefully come out from behind it. It’s a much more powerful position and you will make more of an impact. Allow yourself to be seen.

Contact me today to learn how to overcome your fears and start Communicating In Spite of Your Tension!

It’s Show Time!

Tue, 08 May 2018 00:27:17 GMT

You are a sales manager about to address your team… it’s Show Time!

You are a grocery clerk and your next customer in line approaches the checkout… it’s Show Time!

You are a product demonstrator in a retail store offering samples… it’s Show Time!

You are a telephone representative or salesperson answering the next call… it’s Show Time!

You are a product designer about to show company executives your latest… it’s Show Time!

You are the CEO of a publicly-held company about to speak to shareholders… it’s Show Time!

Understand? Is it becoming clear? EVERYone who interacts with ANYone in a professional capacity, no matter how high (or low) the position, is about to PERFORM.

It’s Show Time!

If you take this moment lightly, or approach it carelessly or unprepared, you cannot deliver your best performance and you will let your company down, you will let your customer down and you will let yourself down.

Don’t do it. Learn to deliver your very best performance every time you interact with someone.

Does it sound like hard work? It is. Does it seem you won’t be able to do it every time? You may not. Do you worry that you can’t do it? You can.

But HOW?

Know your material, your product, your message or your speech. Be sure you understand how it works, what the benefits are, how the features are useful or unique, what purpose it serves, what problems it solves. Learn also what objections people might raise and how to address them.
Know your body, your instrument. Are you in perfect physical condition? If not, you can work on that but, in the meantime, make friends with yourself. Acknowledge your limitations (privately), make what improvements you can in the moment (haircut, new scarf, whatever), then carry yourself with pride and dignity. Express yourself with passion, energy and animation.
Remember who you are doing this for. Yes, you’re doing it for your company, for your family, to earn a living. But always remember the focus should be on the customer’s needs, not yours. Listen carefully and respond with genuineness and authenticity. Come from a place of service and generosity and you will be way ahead of most salespeople.

Yes, it’s hard work, but it gets easier. Your progress will begin to accelerate and even what seems like a plateau will begin to appear as a step up to the next level of success.

IT’S SHOW TIME

COMMUNICATE CONFIDENCE!

How to Claim Speaking Fame

Tue, 10 Apr 2018 00:32:33 GMT

Throughout history, public speaking has been a common cause of anxiety for all ages, across all levels of society. Even with all the rewards of fame, many performers still claim to suffer panic attacks when faced with public speaking.

If you’ve ever found yourself suffering the effects of stage fright – or any other form of ‘performance paralysis’ – here are some tips to help you claim your public speaking fame with no anxiety and all the rewards!

1. Plan and Practice: Plan your material well in advance and know your material inside and out. Your message should be a good fit for your audience as well as a good fit for you. Speak about something you truly believe in – or something you have personally experienced – so that you can deliver with confidence and successfully impact your audience.

2. Engage and Envision: Get to know your audience by asking questions that produce responses. Measure any reactions shown to key points that you make during your message. Likewise, let your audience get to know you by offering bits of personal information and snippets of true stories. Be yourself – and don’t forget to put yourself in their place. Envision yourself sitting in those seats. What would YOU want to hear and know? Could you find value in the message? Present your message in a manner that you would find interesting – and in a way that you could truly appreciate.

3. Focus and Feel: Don’t think about yourself. There is no reward in thinking about yourself – it will only increase any anxiety you may be dealing with. Instead, think about what you want to communicate to your audience and what you want them to feel and experience when you speak. This will distract you from whatever may be causing you to feel anxious and, much like searching through a file drawer, you’ll begin processing through the key points of your message, finding the ‘good stuff’, pulling it out, reviewing it, and preparing it for use. Focus on how you feel about the key points of your message. What emotions does your message stir up in you? Determine to share those emotions by being animated and expressive – which will help your listeners to identify with you, focus on what you’re saying, and relate.

4. Pay Attention and Be Aware: Being able to understand body language is a great tool for the public speaker. Pay attention to how your audience is reacting – or NOT reacting.

Are they being pulled into what you are saying – or put off by your message and delivery?
Are they too noisy?
Too quiet?
Shifting in their seats or falling asleep?

Understand that an occasional yawn doesn’t necessarily mean boredom if you’re presenting late in the day. On the other hand, prolonged blank stares at any point in time should be very telling!

Being aware of you own body language is just as important. Your body language will either invite your audience to engage with you, giving them every reason to stay awake – or every reason to exit the room before you’re finished. Take control of the stage from the start with a confident entrance. Continue holding the audience’s attention with the use of conscious gestures and movements. And remain in control to the end through the message your body language is delivering.

5. Relax and Remember: Relax your body as you speak. Holding the breath causes even more stress. And holding your breath can be something you’re doing without even realizing it…but it sends signals to your body with chemicals that actually create fear. So, breathe deep and often.

And remember, the audience wants you to succeed. They are there to hear what you have to say. They actually want you to be stimulating, informative and interesting. They really want to enjoy themselves and even be entertained – especially if they’ve paid for their seat!

One final tip that has helped many ordinary people, just like you, to overcome anxiety and enjoy the rewards of public speaking:

No matter your level of experience – no matter your age – when you are in front of an audience or group of any size, you are there for a purpose.

Focus on that purpose. Deliver the goods. Leave them with a reason (or two) to be glad that you did.

Let this be your claim to fame!

Photo by Antenna on Unsplash

The Number One Thing Public Speakers Should Fear

Fri, 02 Mar 2018 01:38:02 GMT

Public Speakers have fears. Believe it or not, the number one fear cited by most people is ‘speaking in front of a group’. The thing about speaking in public is that it’s risky to put yourself front and center knowing that while you should be exposing who you truly are, you could be judged to be someone you’re not.

We all fear that!

Public Speakers will admit to feeling vulnerable. But they will also tell you that speaking publicly to a group is the number one most powerful action you can take on your journey to overcoming all the things you fear most in life.

When you can speak authentically and communicate in a thoughtful, articulate manner, you’ll find people eager to listen and ready to hear what you have to say.

Why?

Because communication is powerful. And being able to speak with power and presence in a very easy and natural way, demonstrates your level of comfort with being yourself – which translates to being someone whom your audience can feel comfortable receiving from.

The Number One Thing Speakers Should Fear

People are more willing to give respect when they believe they have been respected. And this is the reason every public speaker should focus on being genuine and authentic.

An audience can sense when a speaker lacks authenticity or doesn’t really believe in their message. When this happens, an audience can feel disrespected and believe that their time (and any money spent) has been wasted.

This is the number one thing that public speakers should fear!

As a public speaker, you should accept the fact that you cannot control outcomes. But you should never underestimate the power you have to create an experience for listeners – every time you speak –

Simply by being in control of the manner in which you express your thoughts and emotions through:

Your voice
Your timing
Your eye contact
Your facial expressions
Your body language

Speaking is so much more than just the content of what you are saying. So, don’t fear what you can control. And don’t fear what you can learn to control.

If you’re going to fear anything, fear never taking the risk that allows you to experience the thrill of succeeding in ways you never thought possible.

Fear Missing Your Opportunity

If you’re already speaking publicly, you’ve chosen to be a risk-taker with the added bonus of having the potential to influence others and make a difference in their lives.

If you’re still not sure that you can speak publicly – I want to assure you that you CAN.

Don’t fear what could possibly happen if you get in front of a group. Fear missing out on all the possibilities!

Fear missing your opportunity to:

Change and grow personally
Impact the world around you
Realize and achieve new goals

Success – whether professionally or personally – comes to us when we finally choose to take a risk and leave our comfort zone.

Speaking of things you don’t need to fear: Here are some totally free (no strings attached) proven strategies to help you lose your fear and gain the confidence to make the most of what you already have .

You are the Experience – Continuing the Conversation

Sat, 03 Feb 2018 01:41:47 GMT

I just completed a workshop for new entrepreneurs – people who have started their own business or have an idea and want to get it out there.

I was struck once again by all the research and investment in time and money that they are willing to spend on these plans and products. There was palpable dread in the room as I pointed out that the best product presented and communicated about in a less-than-professional manner will very likely fail.

You must train your staff to be competent and even skilled. The next layer of professionalism, and maybe what sets you apart from your competitors, enters the realm of theater. People want an experience, they want to feel something.

What’s it like using the product?
What’s the business environment like?
Is it welcoming, warm, exciting or stimulating, or is it confusing, generic, lackluster or flat?

These are important considerations. Hopefully, your brand telegraphs the experience you want people to have when doing business with you. It’s important that how you and your staff interact with customers or clients is in alignment with your vision and your brand.

However, the best branding, environment, product or service, etc., will fall short of providing the experience you intend if YOU aren’t the leading example, shining on the mountaintop for all to see.

In short, you ARE the experience.

How you communicate, interact and engage with others becomes the critical element, the human icing-on-the-cake. (Of course, the cake better be good!)

Your customers won’t consider doing business with anyone else if their experience with you is vital, genuine and dynamic. Your employees won’t be easily tempted to leave your company if their experience is that you care about them and truly support their growth and development.

Are you struggling? Consider these two approaches:

Take it a step at a time , set reasonable goals and savor each victory, no matter how small.
Take a chance on yourself, allow your self-image to inflate a bit, then step into it. Challenge yourself to take a leap of faith and confidence, then rise to the occasion.

In either case, when the inevitable setbacks occur, take a breath, dust yourself off—and keep going. If you need help, call or write.

Are you already successful and wondering what could be next for you and your professional life? If there’s a question, it’s coming through to others. Get ahead of the experience, discover how your vision is evolving, and GO! People will follow.

I’ve seen this situation happen over and over again. Because the entrepreneurial spirit takes courage and pride, sometimes entrepreneurs resist seeking help. Please don’t let that be you- you deserve to have the tools you need to reach your goals!

If you express your vision, and convey your passion with vitality and authenticity, you will succeed. If you desire to elevate your performance or even change your whole act, you may simply need a bit of support and guidance moving forward. Why wait? Call or write, let’s discuss what’s next for you.

Remember: You ARE the experience!

Do You Speak a Foreign Body Language?

Sat, 06 Jan 2018 01:45:47 GMT

When our bodies are in tune with our words, emotions and intentions and we are feeling confident and in charge, we are unstoppable .

When the reverse is true, we often feel ourselves losing control of the situation.

Being out of tune and out of touch with what we want to say
Missing the emotions we want to express
Feeling our confidence disappear

What’s left is confusion and a body once ready to present, give a speech, communicate ideas to a team or lead in other ways has become rather like a deflated balloon.

Picture this scenario: You have decided to give a little speech to your team. You are not looking forward to this. Actually, you hate speaking. But, you have decided it’s time to take on your fears.

You have rehearsed your words, but not your body. So when you get up to speak, your body is caught off guard. You find yourself standing in front of your people with your hands in the fig leaf position and your feet crossed over each other.

Your tension and fear have placed your body in a terrible position. You have inadvertently (through lack of knowing the language of your body) shut down your ability to relate to your audience.

Think of all the times you have witnessed this same thing happening to others? There are consequences to not being in touch with your body:

You will not impact and connect with your message.
You will not make the sale
People may not be drawn to you and perhaps they won’t want to hire you.

So much depends on this “package” that is you.

Your body language is one of the keys to your success. Please don’t take it for granted!

If you need help, please contact me today!

YOU CAN DO THIS.

Keynote Speakers Interpersonal Communication Skills

Thu, 30 Nov 2017 16:46:56 GMT

Though sometimes overlooked today, person-to-person dynamics are very effective, and interpersonal communication skills are invaluable tools for the highly respected professional speaker or leader.

Interpersonal communication is not just about what is actually said – the language used – but how it is said and the non-verbal messages sent through tone of voice, facial expressions, gestures and body language.

An audience is always sending feedback to the one who is speaking. Look for the smiles, head nods – even the rolling of the eyes. Interpersonal communication can be a two-way process, an interaction. Be aware of the body language your audience conveys.

Keynotes as the Channel

No one is ever the sum total of his or her work or chosen career. What makes you unique as an individual are:

● The details
● The fine print
● The personal gut feelings
● The personal beliefs that comprise our essence

You can’t afford to lose a true sense of yourself and what you’re all about if your goal is to be a motivational speaker and leader.

When I watch people talk about their business, their careers, and their future goals, I don’t often sense much excitement or passion about what they do.

Instead what is often communicated:

● Sounds like a report.
● Fails to inspire.
● Lacks clarity, charisma, confidence.

When communicating and networking with others, I want them to bring their passion, their heart, their spirit and personality into their words! I want to get to know a person – not just ABOUT the person.

It can take courage to break away from your typical ‘elevator speech’ – and don’t get me wrong, there can absolutely be a time and a place for a great persuasive pitch. In fact, I’ve coached many on how to “Sell Yourself in 30 Seconds or Less”.

But there is also a need for communicating in a deeper way.

Presenting yourself in a way that makes you memorable, making your message unforgettable is key to becoming a sought after professional speaker. You can be the channel they can’t wait to change – or you can be the channel they consistently turn to for the message they want to hear.

Keynote Speakers Generate Excitement – And Money

Keynote presenters are relied upon to inspire and motivate an audience in a variety of ways.

A keynote’s message is usually designed to encourage attendees to:

● Get the most out of the event
● Overcome barriers, get unstuck
● Develop forward thinking
● Recognize opportunities
● Set and achieve goals
● Increase engagement
● Boost morale

According to Big Speak, research shows that company profits seem to follow times when the engagement and morale of employees are boosted. And that’s an investment most business owners are willing to make!

Many of today’s most exciting motivational speakers chose to work with a coach to learn how to communicate more effectively and make themselves memorable.

After presenting a speech or introducing your business to a group, ask for feedback from someone you trust. Videotape your message and ask some of your friends how you come across.

By the way, if you have videotape of your presentation, watch with a critical eye for moments where you are connecting with authenticity – and where you are not.

Don’t believe that you are your own worst critic – you can be your own best critic if you’ll simply review with an open mind.

Better yet, take the next step and schedule a time with me to review your video together. We can go over what you can easily do to maximize your impact and resonate with your audience!

In the meantime, go ahead and download this free and helpful guide with strategies for more successful communication.

The Essence of Communicating Your Personality Type

Sun, 26 Nov 2017 16:49:44 GMT

As a member of several networking groups, I’m always fascinated by the variety of personalities within groups. Individuals sharing and communicating becomes the essence of the group, giving each group its own unique personality.

These groups call to mind my years spent in classrooms. Looking back, I realize that the personality types I experienced in the school setting exist in the grown-up experience of networking such as:

The Leader Type
The Silent Type
The Joker/Comedian Type
The Controller Type

Some business actually does take place during networking, but in my opinion relating at a deeper level (where more than the cover page or elevator speech is revealed) is necessary for getting to know others – to communicate who you are – to get to the real business of successfully impacting one another’s lives.

The essence of effective communication involves:

Clarity
Connection
Illumination
Warmth

My issue with most networking meetings is that I rarely get a real sense of the people attending.

Are You Communicating Your Essence?

Take a closer look at yourself.

How do you think people perceive you?
Does your personality communicate a genuine interest in others?
Do you present yourself in a way that translates into new connections, new relationships, new business?

People in every walk of life are under so much pressure today. We are constantly bombarded with a message of the importance of doing MORE:

To succeed
To be relevant
To be growing

Unfortunately, this message often overlooks the most vital ingredient for successfully networking and reaching your professional and personal goals – the essence of YOU.

You must have a deep knowing and acceptance of who you are and what you have to offer, or you’ll lack the confidence needed to relate to others on a level that creates opportunities for greatness !

Do yourself a favor. Look in the mirror and tell yourself – out loud – about your essence. Describe your style. Acknowledge what is terrific about you. Remind yourself of all you’ve accomplished!

Did you sell it?

You can…and I’m ready to show you how. Grab your FREE Assessment . It’s a short and sweet personal call – and the benefits can last a lifetime.

You Are the Experience

Tue, 03 Oct 2017 15:52:41 GMT

What does it take to distinguish you and your business from the competition? Visionary leaders recognize that it’s no longer enough to provide a good product or service. People crave, and have come to expect, an experience . They want to feel something and be a part of something greater than themselves.

You can train your staff to be competent and even skilled. You can offer a product that appeals to the masses. However, the best branding, product, or service, will fall short of providing the experience you intend if YOU aren’t in alignment with it. Products simply do not sell themselves.

The Missing Piece

Do you feel like you should be even more successful than you are? How you interact and engage with others could be the missing piece — that necessary element that your business has been lacking in order to reach it’s full potential. It’s not just a piece of the puzzle, it’s the piece that can inject your business with new purpose and new life.

It’s important to consider the environment where you conduct your business. Is it welcoming, warm, exciting or stimulating; or is it confusing, generic, lackluster or flat? Your environment is a key factor in your branding, and should align with your mission. How you and your staff interact with your clients is a big part of creating the environment you desire to promote.

The Human Element

Our bodies contain countless nerves that transmit and inform. The chemicals these nerves emit stimulate other nerves to action, ultimately accomplishing the goal of feeling or seeing. In a similar fashion, success is founded on how we perform in our professional roles and is entirely dependent on how well we can elicit the desired response from others. Think of each and every person to person interaction as the place where the link can be either strengthened or broken. Even if your product works or the service you offer is helpful, it will all be for naught if the human element is left out.

What is the experience people have of working with you? Remember, You ARE the Experience!

Contact me today to begin the journey!

Life is a Performance

Tue, 25 Jul 2017 16:00:40 GMT

For years I have been telling my clients that, “Life is a Performance! You have been cast in the starring role that you are now playing.” Actually, Roman philosopher Seneca the Younger said it in the first century AD: “Life is a play. It’s not its length but its performance that counts.”

Life Is But A Performance

You put on a performance on this stage called life.

And your fellow cast mates?

Well, they’re your friends, family, co-workers, and acquaintances.

Face it, life is like a performance,

and you are just one of the actors.

Play your part well.

- Kimonako

When I came across this Kimonako piece I was reminded of the timelessness of that view. It reinforced my belief that I see people as actors in their lives, regular folks charged with communicating who they are in a dynamic, lively performance, comfortable on any stage on which they find themselves in life.

How Would you Characterize Your Performance?

Whether your life role is playing a lawyer, investor, hair stylist, insurance broker, plumber, dietitian, or politician, this is the life role you have chosen to play. You have become the lead actor in the play/movie/TV show that is your life.

It’s now up to you to deliver a meaningful performance – live, no matter the time or place.

In order to expand your performance comfort zone you need to develop ease, grace and confidence about what you have to offer the world. Confidence and self-esteem are at the core of your performance skills . Once you are comfortable in your own skin it’s time to take your performance on the road. And, you must have accepted the fact that you are going to be judged. We are constantly being judged. It would be a friendlier world if we all would love/like more and judge less. Whether it’s fair or not, we cannot do much about it but accept it and strive to improve on our own terms.

Evaluate your Performance Skills

In order to become the star performer in your life you need to look at your performance skills .

Are you comfortable being the center of attention? This is a must when performing. When you’re giving that sales pitch “it’s show-time!” You are filled with energy, you’re relaxed, (some tension is fine) you’re enthusiastic and ready to engage.

If tension is in charge, you are in trouble. Your un-managed tension will wreak havoc. Your performance will lack spontaneity. You might rush and fail to make eye contact. If you’re out on a job interview, this is the perfect way to lose it.

Please remember when I talk about performance skills I’m talking about the quality and level of energy which is at the core of your passion and expressing it with animation. What about expressing the emotions in the words you speak and animating your face and body to communicate the meaning of the words? These skills must find a home in your personality. They will become part of your natural way of doing things. They are designed to intensify the effect you have on people and their response. Your confidence will grow by leaps and bounds.

Take These Steps

Coming face to face with your performance anxiety WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE—I GUARANTEE IT! But you have to be willing to face the performance anxiety demon and to know what steps to take:

Practice
Confidence
Time

There are some terrific teachers out there and one of them is named Laurie Burton. I would love to help you . Remember – LIFE IS A PERFORMANCE

Share and enjoy!

What Might Happen If You Communicated With More Vitality?

Mon, 19 Jun 2017 16:09:18 GMT

It is the very nature of my business to look at the way people present themselves and at the heart of the training we look at how each person expresses their innate vitality .

This is a powerful word… please take note. As an example, I’ve included some synonyms of “vitality” below. Do any of these words apply to you? Can you relate to these words? Do you know where they live in you?

VITALITY noun “The bright weather has revived my vitality.” Synonyms: liveliness, life, energy, spirit, vivacity, exuberance, buoyancy, bounce, elan, verve, vim, vigor, pep, brio, zest, sparkle, dynamism, passion, fire…

As a member of several associations and networking groups, I can’t help but notice that many people are not living lives filled with vitality. They don’t sparkle and passion and fire do not emanate from their personalities. These are all business professionals but either life or their way of being is definitely working against them.

Life today has a way of taking the air out of our balloons. What can people do to regain their excitement about life? Perhaps we need to look at the way we’ve expressed ourselves through our lives. Have you been a cup half- empty or a cup half- full?

I just finished watching a new HBO documentary, entitled “If You’re Not in the Obit, Eat Breakfast”.

It’s about some pretty famous people, and some regular folks as well, all over the age of ninety, some as old as 102. What they have in common is that are all still working, or taking part in activities that they love doing. They were so ALIVE. All of them exhibiting energy, spirit, fire, and get up and go. They were amazing and so inspiring. When asked why they think they have lived so long, all of them said it was because they loved their work. One woman had lived with depression for years until her daughter took her to exercise and run. She came alive through the exercise. She is 100 years old and still competing in senior track events.

I was left thinking:

*How can I pass along the insight and example these remarkable elders left with me?

*How can I convince people to examine the level of their vitality, to be brave enough to come face to face with their lack of it?

*And most important of all, how valuable it is to have life filled with vitality? To know deep inside that you are something! To be someone who takes pride in who you are and how you come across .

This knowing takes a willingness to take a real look at yourself. It’s an exploration of all the facets that make up your personality. You may be stuck in a comfortable/safe way of being right now, but I’m asking you to STOP settling for things as they are – what more can you be/do/have?

Think of someone that you deeply admire. What is it about them? Do you sometimes wish you could be as lively as this person? Try getting a sense of this person, how to they talk, walk, and gesture. Let it take place in your body or, if it’s easier, just imitate them and try it on for size.

I promise if you decide to vitalize your life it will affect everything you do, in business and life. I would love to talk to you about how you can summon and express your vitality to its fullest to achieve your goals.

How To Communicate With Unshakable Confidence

Tue, 06 Jun 2017 16:12:15 GMT

You will find that success is rooted in your ability to understand and express your life force, the vitality and motivation that drives and inspires you. A true communicator is someone who can translate human thoughts, feelings and emotions, making them come alive so that others are moved by them. But for many people, sharing ourselves, our emotions and feelings and creating a genuine connection with others can be a very challenging task.

The ultimate challenge is to be willing and able to cause people to feel something, to have an experience. How to do this is an art—but not a mystery.

It starts with your awareness of and appreciation for your unique qualities. What makes you “You”? If you can’t accept and truly appreciate who you are, others can tell and it will seriously undermine your power and influence—and confidence. We need to start by checking in with ourselves, then how we interact with people and how well we’re communicating our message. Are people inspired enough to buy your product or sign on to your agenda? Sometimes acting as if you have confidence can be indistinguishable from the real thing and gives you the experience of being seen as confident. Then, when people treat you as a confident person it is self-reinforcing: it helps you build the natural, genuine confidence that is so compelling and powerful.

It means not just allowing ourselves to be seen but to be seen clearly , with all the bold strokes and subtle finesse that make us who we are- yes, warts and all. If we have warts (and we all do) we must accept them and make friends with them until we can reduce or have them removed. In day-to-day, informal interactions we just go about our business “being ourselves” without much thought or awareness, however the prospect of being in the spotlight and having to deliver can be paralyzing and even downright painful filling people with fear and tension. It doesn’t have to be that way.

How Can I Have Unshakable Confidence?

What is required is the creation of an internal, independent support system. You know and accept and appreciate who and what you are. You are armed with all this ammunition to sustain and encourage yourself and build self-esteem. You are ready to risk failure and success. You have begun to explore and build on a foundation of trusting your impulses and perceptions. It’s all about taking the time to check in with yourself .

Imagine you are standing in front of yourself, watching. You especially want to do this when you know you’re going to be on the spot, when it’s “show time” and you have to perform. It could be at a team meeting, having lunch with a new client or doing a presentation or even a job interview. What is it like in those moments just before you introduce yourself? Are you aware of how you’re perceived or do you assume people are seeing each of your flaws and judging you for them? Let me reassure you: yes, when you stand up, when you speak out, when you find yourself in center stage, people are scrutinizing you and likely judging you. Knowing that, but not letting it completely throw you off or derail your progress is a sign of unshakeable confidence.

Once you become more aware, accepting, and appreciative of who you are, you can accept the challenge of becoming your greatest self . This will put you on the road to Unshakeable Confidence – the ability to stand with responsibility, power and poise in the face of any situation.

A Balanced Presentation

Fri, 12 May 2017 16:18:47 GMT

I CAN IMAGINE that some of you reading this might have had this experience when presenting a product, making a sale, talking to your team or boss, or even looking for another job. It’s when your body felt out of whack or really out of balance. Something wasn’t right. It could have been that your body weight was out of balance and you tripped and lost your balance.

It could be that your mind, body and spirit weren’t aligned. You were out of focus with the moment. You had lost your intention because you were being driven by tension and the fact that everyone’s eyes were on you .

You know that “elevator speech” you give when people ask what you do for a living?

That’s a perfect example. People who are out of balance rush their name and the name of their company. Their bodies are out of balance with their minds and spirit.

I think they feel if they don’t say it fast enough they will turn to stone. What is required here is a balance between mind, body, tension and confidence.

It’s amazing to me how many people think that presentation and communication skills are just something that you have to do, mostly in an unconscious way. People just throw away their name and what they do. Nobody wants to spend the time on it.

But it represents who you are! And the company you represent.

I’m here to share the truth with you. Becoming adept at presenting and communicating is a performance art, and every business person should be trained in that art.

It’s a terrible thing to be constantly uncomfortable when you know your name is being called. When you’re out there selling, you need to be having fun. I want you to be able to wear these skills like a pair of comfortable shoes.

So, what is the Problem?

The primary problem here is that many of our lives are completely out of balance, which of course carries over to the way we communicate. How many joyful, confident, considerate, compassionate people do you meet in the day? Are you one of those people?

Being in balance requires some intrapersonal calibration. Are you reaching your audience? The size of your audience doesn’t matter; It could be anywhere from one to a thousand.

Right now I would like you to concentrate on how you really feel about how you do when you introduce yourself to a new prospect or simply introduce yourself at a meeting. Is there joy in your intro? Are you liking the fact that you are meeting new people? People who could possibly be your next client?

How to have Unshakeable Confidence

Not dealing with the fear and tension involved in presenting yourself is a terrible thing to face. How would some confidence feel? How would you like to be able to take over the room and feel that all these people are a part of your business family?

I see so many people really suffer under the weight of having to present themselves. I know how to help – it’s what I do! And I can do it for you. I’m so tired of watching people become paralyzed with fear. What’s needed is to take yourself by the neck and say – you can do this, it’s going to feel strange, sometimes yucky, but you can change your fear to comfort!

You can learn UNSHAKABLE CONFIDENCE, and in turn, the success of a Balanced Presentation!

Communicating With Myself

Thu, 13 Apr 2017 16:24:00 GMT

The other day, I found myself standing in front of the mirror getting ready to go to an early morning meeting. As I looked in the mirror, I realized I wasn’t quite awake yet. I’d hopped out of bed anxious to get the makeup and hair out of the way. I thought to myself,

“It’s six-thirty in the morning and I’m putting makeup on.” Then I realized I was one of millions of women doing exactly the same thing. This reminder that I was part of the sisterhood of working women made me feel better.

The morning meeting that I was up early for is a networking group called “TEAM Referral Network.” Each group is from a different area in Los Angeles, where I live, but they are located in many different states. I mention them because I’m having so much success there.

Members must get to know one another and what they do. We can then help one another connect with people and businesses we have access to. For instance, one the man in the group works for a life insurance company and he wants me to work with his people to help them develop their communication skills when working with the public and as a team.

Taking Time to Communicate With Myself

I returned to the mirror. Looking past my reflection I saw my back yard and the sun just beginning to make an appearance. All the trees were glowing in back light from the sun.

I stopped what I was doing and went to the window. There was dew on the grass and everything looked so peaceful and gentle.

Then I remembered the madness I was about to face that is trying to get to work or a meeting in Los Angeles.

Yet, here I was looking out my window at a lovely garden. “I am so blessed,” I said to myself. Then I was overcome with a thought. This house has taken care of my family and me for years. It has held us, looked after us, and protected us. I love my house and I told it so, out loud so it could hear it. I am so grateful to have this roof over my head.

I sat down, overcome with the reality of my life. I am rich with life’s blessings.

My work is helping people overcome their limitations when it comes to communications. What a blessing to be doing something I love. I’ve paid plenty of dues in my life, but hey, that’s part of being alive. I’m dedicated to helping people expand their personalities and presentation skills, which will help them, among other things, to:

Get a job
Get a raise
Make a sale
Attract new clients

I’m always here if you need me. Just give me a call .

But in any case, don’t forget to count your blessings!

How to Communicate Who You Are

Wed, 15 Mar 2017 16:28:45 GMT

I am a member of several business networking groups. During our meetings, everyone gets the chance to introduce him or herself and tell us what they do — a chance to communicate about themselves, their work and the company they work for.

At my last meeting I experienced two people, a man and a woman, who were very uncomfortable doing their introductions. We started the meeting off with all of us just talking, laughing and relaxing over breakfast. But, when it came time for these two people to make their introductions it was almost painful to watch.

The woman, who was a visitor, had been rather quiet during breakfast, but was still interacting with the others. When her turn came she rose slowly, as if she were filled with pain and said, “Oh my god, I’m so nervous.” She apologized for being so nervous, and through her entire introduction she spoke quietly, keeping her head down and making very little eye contact.

The man, on the other hand, was gregariously interacting with the group and generally having a good time. When it came for him to stand and speak, it was as if he became another person. Shy and hushed as he began his intro, his speech turned out to be the fastest one of the morning. He had been given a minute to speak but he used about 15 seconds. Speaking in front of a group had almost paralyzed him, it seemed, and he was hardly able to look at the other group members. The young man spoke so fast, I found myself paying more attention to the speed with which he was talking than the content of what he was saying. The process had robbed him of all of his personality and power .

Reading these descriptions may have reminded you of times you have witnessed someone crumbling under the pressure of giving a presentation to an audience. Maybe you have even experienced some of these fears yourself.

I’m always imagining the costs to those who seem to struggle with communicating effectively under pressure:

Missed connections
Loss of business
Valuable peer support

The second thing I always wonder about is: why don’t they get help? These behaviors are not all that difficult to overcome but, in my experience, people are often resistant to “critical review,” feeling it’s an attack on “who they are.”

All too often, a critical review in unskilled hands and without compassionate support, feels exactly like that: a personal attack.

Communicate Who You are and What You Offer

I promise you can make friends with the tension , embarrassment, and the fact that all eyes are on you and the idea that you may be judged. I have news for you: you are going to be judged whether you’re doing a great job or a mediocre one! It’s the nature of any audience.

I wrote this particular blog post because so many people are deceiving themselves into:

Believing that others won’t notice their difficulties (we do notice though, don’t we?)
Being anxious about exploring their communication skills
Believing there is no caring and constructive support that they can trust.

Friends, please hear what I am saying. You have so much to offer!

Don’t muck it up by not taking the steps to become a great communicator . Whether it’s an acting or improvisation class or a Toastmaster class, please get help. I invite you to give me a call. I will support you in the exciting process of fully and confidently owning your moments, whenever they come.

Discover how to create, embrace and capitalize on more of those opportunities, by learning the skills for communicating who you are . It will affect the rest of your life, both business and personal.

New Zealand: How the Land Communicates Without Words

Tue, 31 Jan 2017 19:05:33 GMT

In many of my blogs I have talked about how much of my work is dedicated to helping people express themselves using their passion, energy, and animation, and how to incorporate these skills when they speak or present . I love to talk about passions and how using them as a foundation for a speech or presentation can make or break the moment. Make the sale or not. Get the job or not.

Whether you realize it not, your passions make up the foundation of who you are and how you are perceived. My desire is to have people live by and through their passions.

Can you think of something you are passionate about that when you talk about it, it instantly starts to feed your energy, your spiritedness, and enthusiasm? It makes your presentation come alive!

My husband and I just returned from a 3-week vacation in New Zealand. New Zealand has been “calling” me for years now. I would look at pictures of the Milford Sound and it was as if it was calling me, inviting me to come and be a part of its magic. I mention Milford Sound, but it is only one of many soul touching places that we visited. The water in the rivers there is Aqua! I could not believe it — an aqua river moving past our campervan as we made dinner! Are you kidding?! Lake Punakaiki, a huge lake — AQUA!

And there was yet another lake full of icebergs that had calved off a glacier. We actually ate some ice off of one of them! That ice could have been thousands of years old!

New Zealand Communicates Without Words

New Zealand – this country on the other side of the world where is seems that Mother Nature is in charge – has filled me with the kind awe that I haven’t felt for a while. It rekindled the child in me and left the woman lost for words. It is a place that has retained its wildness. Its cliffs have faces that have names. I have never seen cliffs like these before. Their silence has much to say.

There are enormous beaches where the wind blows so hard it can knock you over and half the sand winds up in your mouth. Waterfalls everywhere play different symphonies. This land is blessed with so much rain. New Zealand wins the prize when is comes to variations of green. I’d never seen some of those greens. I recommend that they create a new green color called “New Zealand open-mouthed green”. From the mountains, rivers, cliffs and jungle (bush) you’re suddenly in a huge valley with green hills and lots of sheep.

In other words, New Zealand has taken over the number one spot on my list of passions. I’m passionate about it’s “long white clouds”. The Maori name Aotearoa means “Land of the Long White Cloud”.

This blog is in honor of New Zealand — the place where heaven meets mother earth and mother earth has a way to communicate without words.

Communicating Through The Music In Your Personality

Fri, 27 Jan 2017 19:08:26 GMT

Communicating Through the Music of Your Personality

"Each human personality is like a piece of music having an individual tone and rhythm of its own" -HAZRAT INAYAT KHAN

When I read these words recently, I almost stood up and cheered.

For the past few months, I’ve been thinking of ways I could incorporate more music into my seminars and workshops or speeches.

When I go to a concert or listen to music at home, I’m always responding to it. Music penetrates my pores and infuses my body, my heart and my brain with its energy. When I’m really into the music, I feel like I’m being swept away. It’s actually a euphoric feeling, one filled with happiness and excitement.

What about the music heard in nature? The pounding of waves, raindrops on the roof, an intense wind in the trees and my favorite: water – rolling over rocks large and small as it makes its way down a creek.

History has been affected by music as well. Music helped Thomas Jefferson write the Declaration of Independence. When he could not figure out the right wording for a particular part, he would play his violin to help him. The music helped him get the

words from his brain onto the paper.

The Music Within YOU

I encourage you to use the music in your life to inspire you, to relax you and to ignite your creativity. Even music that isn’t really your style or preference can be motivating. Listen and respond.

Another aspect of music I want to incorporate more (and hope you will too), is rhythm. I’ve read about the two responses to rhythm. The first is the hearing of the rhythm and the second is the actual physical response to the rhythm.

It has been my experience over the last few years that many people are reluctant to get in touch with their natural sense of rhythm. When I use music to get people to just be in the moment and let their bodies respond, they get embarrassed and freeze up. They start judging themselves.

For millennia people have been singing and dancing to celebrate and let go. Are we our losing our connection with our inner rhythm because we focus too much time on technology?

Part of my philosophy has always been that your body is an instrument and it’s up to you to “make music” with it, taking in, interpreting and expressing what you’re experiencing in the moment. Whether you’re listening to actual music or experiencing something else, internalize, interpret and express. Once you get your instrument in tune and are making music with it, you can more easily harmonize with others.

Listen to the rhythm of your heartbeat. It’s the first and most profound rhythm in all of our lives.

Nothing expresses my emotions more than music. It is poetry with notes instead of words. Or as Hazrat Inayat Khan said, “Sound is the force of creation, the true whole. Music then, becomes the voice of the great cosmic oneness and therefore the optimal way to reach this final state of healing.”

When you’re ready to find your true rhythm and use the music of your personality to communicate with those who need to hear your message – I’ll be waiting to help you develop your ‘gift’ for better success.

In the meantime, Grab my FREE BLUEPRINT for making your presentations more profitable TODAY!

The Soft Yet Powerful Side of You

Mon, 01 Aug 2016 18:20:39 GMT

Let me preface this blog post with a recent powerful experience I had at my doctor’s office.

I’ve been going to this same doctor for over ten years. I’ve known her office assistant for the same amount of time, and I always spend a little time talking with her before I leave just to see how she’s doing.

The office assistant is a fairly serious woman, and I don’t think she loves her job (like many people), but it pays the bills. She started to talk to me but seemed pretty withdrawn. I thought to myself, I’m going to get her to smile and be happy before I leave…

I knew that she has two daughters, and I thought if I ask her about them it just might press her happy button, and sure enough, the change was instant. Her eyes lit up like she’d just won a million dollars!

She went on about her daughters – giving me all the latest about what they were doing. She eventually laughed about how crazy it was having daughters in their early twenties…and I was smiling to myself as I closed her office door behind me.

Don’t Be Afraid to Show Your True Colors

I come across all kinds of attitudes in business. It’s always been a part of my mission to try and break down those walls and barriers that people use for protection. (They think it keeps them safe; it really keeps them separate and aloof).

I use vulnerability and love in a form of self-deprecating humor; it loosens people up, relaxes them right away, and they don’t feel threatened. I also possess a wry sense of humor, which I use quite often.

I talk so much about vulnerability because it has become a fundamental quality to build upon. I notice that people aren’t as afraid of the word anymore.

Letting the softer side of you show, allowing yourself to become vulnerable, opens the door to expressing your emotions in very powerful ways.

Vulnerability makes room for more fulfilling relationships.

When you are vulnerable, you’re free to let any walls come tumbling down. When walls finally come down, just think of all the new areas that open up to you for exploration.

Remember: Walls that keep others out also keep you in.

For example, let’s imagine that before deciding to bring down a certain wall in your life, you owned a coloring box with eight crayons in the box. And the eight colors in the box represented your entire range of expression, the colors you were comfortable communicating.

But now, with the wall down, you’re suddenly aware of your vulnerability.

You can be ‘seen’ and hiding is harder. Your emotion filled crayon box is probably more likely the one with sixty-four colors (you know, the big box with the sharpener on the back that all the rich or lucky kids had).

Just imagine how creative, imaginative, and inspiring your life can be when all the colors are exposed and at the ready for use!

I hope you will begin to embrace your vulnerability and buy into the power of that new crayon box. (No need to spend money; those colors are in you already).

When you relate who you are more dynamically, more colorfully, you draw people in, and they are far more likely to respond in kind. It can be contagious – something no one will mind ‘catching’.

Becoming vulnerable and colorful takes work – but the rewards are many.

Perhaps the greatest reward of all for knocking down your personal walls will be that others will begin to see YOU in a whole new light; a brighter light that’s made up of a wider and deeper spectrum of colors. And, when you start to actively feel (and express) your personal colors, you’ll feel a variety of different responses from people. You’ll be open to perceiving what’s going on with them, confident enough in your observations to make comments or even ask them about their families, as I did in my introduction.

We all know you’re IN there. Come on OUT. Invest in YOU! Schedule a one-on-one transformational coaching session with me TODAY – and let the walls come tumbling down as you feel the powerful side of YOU!

Where to Get Confidence and Inspiration

Fri, 15 Jul 2016 18:24:51 GMT

I’ve spent some time lately reflecting on my life. It started with the anniversary of my mother’s death on June 26 ^th . It’s been seventeen years now since she passed. I can’t believe that I’ve lived on this earth all those years without her! She was here for 83 years, and I was a very lucky woman to have been so loved. It was an honor to be her daughter.

My mother was inspired to be the first to bring Caesar Salad Dressing into food markets.

When she introduced Lorraine Burton’s Caesar Salad Dressing, my mother would stand for hours (with confidence in her product) demonstrating her dressing. She first started actually selling it at the famous Farmers Market in Los Angeles and slowly spread out to other ones.

Prior to her business, she had been part of The Lorraine Sisters, a famous singing group in the east during the forties.

I’m telling you this because I’m embracing, perhaps more than I ever have, my mother’s drive, ambition, confidence, and supreme risk taking.

She loved performing, and so do I.
She started a business doing what nobody else had done.
She inspired me and showed me that I could start my own business as well, which very few people were doing at the time, training people how to communicate with passion, poise, and power.

My mother was working out in the forties and even went to a gym before it ever became popular. I remember watching her swim laps in the apartment building where we lived at six o’clock in the morning before she went to work. And she always ate healthy foods. My lunch box had carrots and celery instead of too many sweets.

My mother taught me how to be a mother. She was lenient, yet strong. She would let me go with caution. She trusted me, and she was also my best friend. We had fun together, and she loved music. She was one heck of a fun grandmother as well. I can feel her as I play with my granddaughters. I see her playing with my daughter.

I’ve also been thinking of the other females in my ancestry. My aunts and grandmothers all passed, but each holding a deeply ingrained essence in my spirit. I am proud that I “wear” some of the fundamental qualities of each of my female ancestors.

The women in my life are front and center as I watch my daughter with my two granddaughters. They are next in line, and they are magnificent. I am blessed beyond all words.

I give thanks to all the women who have blessed my life and deeply influenced it. They have paved the way with their talent, love, impact, guidance and inspiration. They would be amazed at what their children and children’s children have accomplished.

I just wanted to remind us all that those who have come before us still have so much to teach us. All we have to do is ask the questions…and trust the answer.

Expressing Emotion and Communicating with Love

Tue, 21 Jun 2016 18:34:36 GMT

The world has witnessed yet another slaughter of innocent people. I’m writing this blog post on June 17 ^th , almost a week after 49 people were murdered in Orlando, Florida and the shock and dismay over this horrible act are still with me.

How can a person be filled with so much hate, a hatred so fierce it causes them to gun down strangers, happy young people out for a night of dancing and fun?

Once again I am brought face to face with the reality of what we humans are capable of doing. So much hate and fear. It’s almost as if we thrive more on hate and fear than love!

Emotions and the Human Experience

Really, though, these emotions are part of the human experience. Having an emotion is only part of the issue; of course, it’s the easy part. Expressing the emotion appropriately is much more challenging. It requires awareness, humility, kindness – and practice.

Have you ever tried loving your way through the day?

Consider ‘actively loving’ whatever is in front of you for just one day. See it as a contribution to your life instead of solely a burden or hurdle.

Have you ever taken stock of how much fear and hate you might be exposed to on any given day?

You may find that you desensitize yourself to hate and fear somewhat as a protection against being drawn into that black hole. It’s there, nevertheless. Judgments without consideration or awareness feed fear. Fight it with awareness. Acknowledge your feelings and vow to express yourself, appropriately.

When I came up with the idea of “Communicating with Love” for this blog, I was also thinking about loving ourselves first.

In my work, I meet many people who are so quick to judge themselves! Why don’t we love and honor ourselves first, instead? How can we truly love others if we don’t honor ourselves? Think of the airlines’ admonition to secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others.

I guess the flip side of my rant would be the enormous outpouring of love that IS happening in so many cities.

It is as if we just can’t take another mass killing! People are rising up and declaring, “Enough!” in agreement that we must stop these hate filled acts of terror.

When people come together out of love so much can be accomplished. Fear and hatred collapse into a dense, black mass, possibly impenetrable without heroic effort. But, it’s worth it and maybe even absolutely necessary.

Public Speakers Have Opportunities to Make a Difference!

You can make a huge difference in your own life and in the lives of others as well.

I know of all this may sound “Pollyannaish,” but I’ve met so many people who just want to be loved. We’re so anxious to act a certain way or be perceived as this or that type when, really, all we want to be is accepted.

Most people I meet wear a protection shield to guard them against life’s stunning ride. (Plastic slipcovers for your life, anyone?) They’re not really sitting on the couch when they’re sitting on a plastic cover.

It’s as if they just don’t want to explore the different colors of life in all their vibrancy and brilliance because they know that, sometimes, the mix and blend of the many colors can turn muddy or even black.

I wore that shield for many years! I wore it to hide my vulnerability. Now I revel in my vulnerability, and I wish the same for you. Let yourself feel life and experience your fellow humans fully; then respond, with love.

Sometimes it’s difficult to see your glass as more than half-full, especially in today’s world. But, you are an official (and important) member of the human race.

Celebrate Your Life – It’s a Gift from the Divine

Think about how YOU can enhance the life you’ve been given and then express your love of living to enhance the life of others.

Here’s a couple of Haiku expressing a little different perspective on communicating with love.

Dog Love

Love is the Answer

The human race prefers war

Perhaps dogs should rule

Sky Hawk

The hawk spends his life

Silently surfing the wind

And making love to the sky

Overcoming Public Speaking Anxiety Made Easy

Wed, 25 May 2016 18:38:41 GMT

If you experience anxiety right before speaking in public or giving a presentation, you’re probably amazed by those who seem to thrive on being in front of an audience.

What makes it so easy for some people to ‘turn it on’ at the drop of a hat, whenever needed, while others, just like you, feel as though an earthquake is going off inside?

Overcoming public speaking anxiety, the fear of performing (or whatever you may call it) is something that many struggle with…but the good news is that it takes only a little work – and is completely possible to do!

Easy Steps to Overcoming Your Fear

Don’t try to hide. It doesn’t work and just makes everyone uncomfortable. Instead, face your fear and warmly invite your audience to relax and enjoy your message by being your authentic self. Practice until you’re ‘comfortable in your own skin’ and your audience will be able to be comfortable as well.
Share yourself. For many, speaking in front of an audience feels about the same as standing in front of a group of your peers, naked. However, when you’re aware of who you are, all of your faults as well as all of the beautiful and one-of-a-kind treasures that make you uniquely YOU, it becomes easier to positively influence others. It can take time to develop this art, but the results can be surprisingly immediate – not to mention rewarding.
Find your passion. No matter your level of confidence, it is always enhanced by your level of passion. As a public speaker, displaying your passion makes it easier to convince your audience to share in that passion. Even those who may test your confidence will be more easily engaged, even persuaded, by your passion.
Know what you’ve got and use it. If you don’t know YOU – who does? Size up your best attributes and use those to your advantage when speaking and presenting. Ask yourself what makes you so special. The answer will go a long way toward overcoming any negative thinking, which directly impacts your level of public speaking anxiety.
Accept your vulnerability. The easiest way to do this is to practice an “imaginary monolog”: Talk to someone (preferably someone you know well) – imagine them in the room with you and tell them how much you love them, or how they hurt you, or how you cannot wait to see them again. You can talk about any subject that will tap into and help you express your vulnerability. When you are vulnerable, you’re actually more believable. And your audience wants to believe what you are saying. Give them opportunity.

Overcoming any fear takes work. If you’re willing to put in a little effort, I’m willing to help you STOP the Anxiety of Public Speaking and get MORE success from your public speaking gigs. CONTACT ME and let’s talk about presenting you in a whole new light!

Number One Way to Improve Your Public Speaking

Thu, 12 May 2016 18:42:46 GMT

If you’re passionate about improving your public speaking skills, it’s probably because you realize that the number one way to improve your level of success is directly related to how you relate to an audience.

I know it’s harsh, but anyone with a brain, a mouth, and a voice can talk.

Have you ever sat in an audience and felt that you were being talked ‘at’? If you’re like most of us, you would rather be talked ‘to’. Even better, you prefer to be ‘included’ in the conversation.

No one enjoys being ‘talked down to’. We most enjoy a conversation that occurs on our level. In fact, you probably tune out anyone who communicates over your head or beneath you – am I right?

Are you having a conversation with your audience?

As a public speaker, the number one way to improve your speaking skills and realize more success in your career is to be conversational in your delivery.

Unless your audience is specifically looking for a lecture, they are likely looking to you for:

Information
Encouragement
Inspiration
Enlightenment

But most of all, what they want is to be able to enjoy your message!

You may not realize it, but audiences want to see the speaker’s passion.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: We take our senses, and our ability to communicate for granted.

Are you truly aware of the potential strength and power available to you through the art of speaking words that are ignited by your particular passion?

Your passion, and your ability to express it, is what draws others into conversation with you. Even if someone doesn’t agree with you on topic, they will be able to feel your passion for your message. And it’s your passion that makes your message interesting and alive to those listening.

Let’s face it, even if an audience agrees with your message, you’ll lose them – and FAST – if there is no passion behind your words.

Passion, of course, is an emotion. Your audience wants to have an experience – that’s why they’ve come to hear you speak. To have an experience requires them to become involved emotionally.

What do you want your audience to experience?

People will respond to your passion. Your passion is the number one way to connect with your audience and allow them to experience your message.

To improve your public speaking, be sure to communicate the following to your audience:

Why you’re passionate about _________
When you discovered your passion for _________
What continues to keep you passionate about _________
How you benefit from your passion for _________ and use it to your advantage

Incorporate these elements when speaking to improve your conversational tone and increase engagement with your audience.

MORE success is the number one reason that I’m so passionate about getting my message into the hands of struggling public speakers, just like YOU. I want to help you overcome whatever is standing in the way of your success.

How can I help you? Grab my FREE Infographic for MORE Success in 3 Easy Steps – or CONTACT ME TODAY – and let’s get you the speaking success you deserve!

Public Speaker Secret: Position Your Audience

Fri, 29 Apr 2016 18:48:53 GMT

Public speakers, comfortable in their bodies, have a lovely way of inviting an audience “into” their message.

You’ve probably noticed the relaxed way that a seasoned keynote moves across a stage or around the room, freely expressing and gesturing as they go.

“What’s Their Secret?”

Aside from years of practice and experience, the way to get to a place of comfortable charisma is by finding – and using – what I call your ‘Neutral Position’.

A Neutral Position is geared toward:

Being open
Being receptive
Being ready

All of your presentations should originate from a Neutral Position and return to it.

When your body is in this comfortable neutral ‘gear’, it’s much easier to transition to any of your other emotional gears, bringing color and energy to your message.

Picture in your mind a car, in 3 ^rd gear, with the driver’s foot firmly planted on the brake pedal. Many public speakers feel this way as they take the stage. But those with experience know that, unless they put it in neutral before taking their foot off the gas, they’ll only be ‘burning rubber’ – making a lot of noise – and getting nowhere fast.

The Goal is to Take Your Audience Along for the Ride

There’s no real secret to finding a comfortable position with your audience. It’s really about YOU taking control of YOU so that others will be comfortable in your presence and with your message.

Think about that car again…

You’re in the driver’s seat
The vehicle is your message
You’re inviting the audience to be your passengers
You’re asking them to come along for the ride
You must show them that you’re in control so that they can feel comfortable enough to go with you

This is how to position your audience and help them to willingly enter in and experience the journey that is your message.

The REAL secret to success when speaking is to remain comfortable in front of your audience. This allows your audience to feel safe, enabling them to really enjoy the ride with you – leaving them looking forward to the next time!

If you’re feeling ‘neutral’ about your success, possibly about to give up on your speaking career, I’d like to hear from you. Let me help you discover what’s REALLY keeping you from the success you desire and deserve?

Work Your Personality to Your Professional Advantage

Wed, 20 Apr 2016 19:43:51 GMT

Do you use your personality to your advantage? Amazingly, many professionals overlook this powerful tool.

Use Your Personality to Influence and Elevate Your Career

Your personality is what makes you, YOU. It’s what makes you special, what sets you apart from the rest of the crowd. And, trust me, in today’s crowded workplace, you MUST be using your personality to your professional advantage if you intend to get noticed.

Use the simple checklist below to discover how to make the most of WHO you are and elevate your personality strengths.

Simple Personality Workout Checklist:

What distinguishes you from other people?
What about you is unique?
How would you describe your personality?
Who do you think people see when they meet you?
Who do you want others to see?
What are your best qualities?
What are your worst qualities?
What are you presently known for?
What would you like to be known for?
What do people usually say about you?
What do you want them to say about you?
What do you believe in – what are you firmly committed to?
Do you allow others to be honest with you?
Can you be honest with yourself?

Who you are and what you love should be evident to others. There is no reason to try to hide the real you because, at some point, you WILL be revealed.

Instead, use what makes you so special – what you know and what you’ve experienced – to your full advantage!

If you’re not sure about some of the answers to the above questions, why not consider a “Personality Workout.” It’s a fun and painless way to exercise your personality and begin using it to your advantage in your life and career.

You can elevate your performance when speaking and presenting, in any one-on-one or group setting, when you know how to make the most of your one-of-a-kind personality.

My “Personality Workout” Reveals:

How to express your emotional point of view self
Methods to connect with your passions and how to animate them to connect with other people
How your energy level affects everything you say and how to change it instantly
Ways to deal with tension and have it work for you, rather than against you

Let’s talk about how we can work together to elevate your personality strengths for MORE SUCCESS in your career.

By the way, if you’re struggling with anxiety – I’d like to give you something to help “STOP the Anxiety!” and get back on the path to personal success.

The Influence of the Handshake

Wed, 16 Mar 2016 19:47:32 GMT

Around the world, the handshake is recognized as a form of greeting. The way in which a handshake is offered can tell you a lot about a person. It can speak to their social status, level of confidence, and more.

Do you ever think about your handshake? Most people don’t give it much thought – and that’s why the handshake can be so revealing. How someone extends their hand can be a natural reflection of their true personality.

Influencers know that what they do is just as important (if not more important) than the words they speak. First impressions often include the handshake, and its influence can leave a lasting impression, so it’s worth getting it right!

What Your Handshake May Be Saying About You

It’s not just your handshake that’s revealing, but also, how the rest of our body takes part in the act.

Interestingly, I’ve read that the handshake is thought to have originated as a way of showing that the hand traditionally known to hold a weapon was empty, and extended as a non-threatening greeting to the other party.

Here are some things your handshake could be saying about you, and why you should consider the influence of your handshake in the level of your success.

Half-Handed: When someone offers only half of their hand, it arouses suspicion. What else are they holding back? Why only partial engagement? Half-handed could be interpreted as half-hearted – not the kind of lasting impression an influencer wishes to leave with others.
Limp-Handed: When the hand is limp, it could mean ‘no backbone’ as well. Check for a pulse – because this level of energy can’t offer the world much.
Hand-Crusher: Influencers should avoid the ‘power play’ type of handshake. Bone crushers are often compensating for something. Self-importance and insecurity are often belied through a dominating grasp.
Hand-Puller: Another inconsiderate attempt to dominate occurs when one grabs the hand of another, pulling that person toward themselves. It’s an act of handshaking defined by his terms, not yours.
Hand-Pusher: Pushing the hand away as part of the handshaking process is a sign that the interaction is not welcome. The person is either uncomfortable with having contact, or their impatient nature has been awkwardly exposed.
Hand-Swiper: Barely making contact, this type of handshake is usually a ‘hit and run’ experience that leaves you wondering what just happened. The evidence left behind is that of a selfish attitude.

Be Present and Offer a Firm, Full-contact Handshake

When you extend your hand, you’re extending yourself and showing that you want to connect with someone. You are influencing the other person, if only for a moment, so make sure the contact is positive for both of you.

How would you describe your handshake? You can know the influence it plays by reading the other person’s body language. If they don’t want to let go…you may be on your way to a lasting relationship that could help to promote your success!

How to Use Body Language for Interviewing, Presentations

Wed, 02 Mar 2016 20:53:48 GMT

Body language is the non-verbal communication you use more often than you realize. You are expressing your thoughts, inner feelings, even your intentions through your physical actions, and often, without being aware.

Reading and interpreting the body language of others is something we all learn to do. From a very early age most of us begin to recognize the variety of emotions conveyed through:

Facial expressions
Body posture
Hand gestures
Eye movement
Touch

Often, you can tell whether someone’s attitude is positive or negative without them ever speaking a word. It can be as subtle as how they present their hand to you – or as dramatic as the turning of their back.

Likewise, truly great communicators know the power of causing an audience to ‘experience’ what they are saying, by connecting with them on an emotional level through the use of their bodies.

Consider this: Slapstick comedy is so popular because physical comedy connects with viewers on an emotional level, something much harder to accomplish through dialogue alone.

You Come Well Equipped

Your voice, eyes, face, and body provide you with unlimited ways to express yourself. When it comes to the right tools for successfully communicating, you come very well equipped. You just need to take advantage of the equipment!

In her article, The Secret to Interviewing: It’s Not What You Say, It’s How You Say It, Rebekah Crawford, founder of Jobinnerview.com, says that only 7% of what we communicate is through words. Only 7%! That means that a whopping 93% of our conversations are non-verbal.

When you’re perfectly qualified for a position, but your body language is screaming, “I have no confidence in myself or my abilities!” what can you expect the interviewer to take away from the encounter?

When speaking to a group, how will you connect with them if you’re eyes are glued to the floor, and your face is frozen?

In either case, you won’t be remembered for the depth of knowledge you possess or your level of experience. You’ll be remembered for what you caused them to feel – whether positive or negative.

Before any interview or presentation:

Check in with yourself
Honestly assess your feelings
Have a confident conversation with yourself
Visualize how you want the event to go
Focus on positive thoughts
Practice relaxation
Smile

The Unspoken Truth

Remember, whether in business or personal communication, your body can’t easily hide the truth. For more success when interviewing, speaking, or giving a presentation, expressing how excited you are to be there, to be involved, will have the greatest impact if your body language easily backs up the words you are saying.

Be true to yourself and send your message with confidence, through your eyes, facial expressions, and strong gestures.

Do you find yourself using body language to express negative feelings, such as anxiety? Anxiety is often on display physically. Check out my STOP the ANXIETY Program – it could be just what you need to make this your year for more profitable presentations.

How to Remember and Use Names to Influence

Tue, 16 Feb 2016 21:03:45 GMT

Most people in sales know that using a person’s name is important to building relationship. When speaking with another person, using his or her name is a powerful way to:

Acknowledge them, boost their self-esteem.
Re-direct their focus, get their attention.
Cause them to identify and associate with what you are saying

Personalizing your message can be as easy as using the names of people in the audience.

So, how do you remember names so you can use them to your benefit as an influencer?

In an article for Forbes.com, Kristi Hedges shares 5 of her best tricks for remembering names. One suggestion I loved was this:

“If you meet someone named Ryan, associating him with a famous actor like Ryan Gosling can help you remember his name.”

Here are a few other important tips that may influence how you use those names you’ve worked hard to remember.

Formal or Informal

I’m sure you’re aware of the differences in the way you use a person’s name.

For instance, to show their child that they mean business, a parent will often choose the formal ‘Thomas’ over the informal ‘Tom’ or ‘Tommy’ that they would normally use to address the child.

And a parent is really exercising authority when they use the child’s entire given name – first, middle, and last!

On the other hand, being too informal with a name can convey the wrong message at the wrong time. ‘Tommy’ may feel completely disrespected by the informal use of his name as the CEO of the organization hosting you as its Keynote speaker. In the corporate setting, he may be affectionately known as ‘Thomas’ and prefer you use this whenever you say his name.

Don’t be afraid to ask for the person’s name. Not only does it give them the opportunity to offer the name they prefer, but they’ll appreciate you showing an interest in them.

First and Lasting Impressions

Your name is the single most important element you present in selling yourself and your product. It’s often the first step in building a relationship, and it’s also the first step in personal development.

Your name is who you are!

Likewise, the names of the individuals that you are trying to influence matter. Names are powerful tools when seeking to make a positive FIRST impression – as well as a LASTING one.

Learn names.
Respect the power of names.
Practice remembering names.

And don’t forget to watch how a person reacts when you use their name. How do they respond? Does it make them smile or do they look uncomfortable? The reaction may be subtle, but it can help you to determine how to use a name more effectively.

Saying your name with confidence will cause others to ‘feel’ and ‘experience’ your presence almost immediately. Saying others’ names with confidence will help them to remember YOU, as well. It’s a sure way to establish influence – the ultimate goal when speaking and presenting your message to audiences of any size.

Is a struggle with confidence and clarity negatively influencing your ability to Speak, Present, and Communicate with the level of power and presence you desire? I can help! Grab my FREE video tips – and let’s talk about how you can easily Stop the ANXIETY and get the success you deserve – once and for all!

Risk Changing the Way You Communicate

Sat, 30 Jan 2016 21:12:39 GMT

As I was writing this post, I got the news of David Bowie’s passing. One of his greatest hits was CHANGES. I dedicate this post to him and his fearless, never-ending, embrace of change.

I looked up the word CHANGE. It had one of the longest definitions I have ever seen, along with quite a long list of words from the thesaurus, such as: alter, make/become different, adjust, adapt, amend, modify, revise, refine, reshape, refashion, redesign, restyle, revamp, rework, remodel, reorganize, reorder, vary, transform, transfigure, transmute, metamorphose, evolve; informal tweak, doctor, rejig; technical permute.

I chose the word change for this post because it is the core of my work.

I’ve been living with change and teaching it for over 35 years. It took me so long to learn the lesson that the only person I could truly change was myself. I’ve tried it on husbands, friends and children. The lesson has always been to embody and engage my own changes consciously, with openness and a sense of adventure.

So, why would I have chosen to help people look at who they really are and how they come across, and to consider making changes in their behavior; to support change that enables someone to move and connect with people in business and life as never before? Because working with clients as they look at how to change their image and their reality is something I can offer, and something they can choose to take or leave.

When I work with a client, they experience up close, and at times very personally, the look, the sound, the CHANGE that occurs when they’re willing to take the risk, stepping out of their old image and into a newly expanded, vital one.

It takes:

Guts
Chutzpah
Fearlessness
Honesty
…and more

Isn’t it time to call upon your highest and best self to make that change in your life?

Choose to step into your own fear instead of avoiding it. With practice, you’ll develop the confidence you need to consciously engage a change, whether it’s something thrust upon you or something you actively desire.

• If you’re not good at conversation – step into the fear. What? Just engage in conversations badly? Simply stumble through?

• If you’re not great at eye contact – step into the fear. How? Face-to-face and eye-to-eye?

• If you hate going to cocktail parties (or any party for that matter) – step into the fear. And be a wallflower or awkward guest?

• If you don’t like the way you look – step into the fear. You mean make friends with it?

• If you hate speaking in public – step into the fear…

• If you wish you had a likable personality – step into the fear…

• If you’d like to have a better job, but hate the prospects of a job interview – step into the fear…

• If you want to get along with friends and family – step into the fear…

• If you want to feel a part of the world – step into the fear….

I could list more, but I think you get the point.

Stop hiding from life. Risk – and you will be rewarded. Although you may fail a few times, you will succeed!

Come on, this is the journey you were meant to take. This is the journey to personal change and development.

Fear will always tell you that there’s too much at stake. But I can tell you from personal experience, what you will gain far outweighs the risk – every time.

What’s the ONE thing that causes you deep anxiety, keeps you believing that the success you want involves too much risk? I’d love to know…share it with me in the comments below.

Assessing the Power of Charisma and the Real You

Tue, 12 Jan 2016 21:20:51 GMT

I often speak about the power of Charisma, how it affects your level of confidence and your ability to be the REAL you.

If you’re honest with yourself, when would you say that you feel the most?

Engaging
Charming
Energetic
Attractive
Vibrant
Alive

Without charisma, you may struggle to answer this question. Yet, your level of charisma when speaking and communicating, can make all the difference in your level of success.

In today’s business world, being REAL is important to building trust. If your first thought is, “Who I am at work is very different from the person I am at home,” it must be very difficult dealing with that split personality every day.

Who are you robbing of the REAL you?

When you are comfortable with YOU, others will be comfortable with interacting with you. Charisma allows you to share what’s special and unique about you, and in today’s fast-paced and crowded marketplace, there’s no better way to stand out and be noticed!

It’s too hard to maintain the energy required to perform at your highest level, deliver your best presentation, and get rewarded for your efforts when you shut down or dismiss essential parts of the REAL you.

Communicate from a deeper level than just the surface of your personality, and give your charismatic self a chance to shine. Yes, it can be risky and uncomfortable at first, but the rewards are more than worth it.

You’ll begin to:

Inspire and connect with just about anyone
Feel empowered and alive
Develop deeper relationships
Realize positive results, more success

What one thing would you like to work on to bring you fully into your charismatic self? Share it with me in the comments below. It always helps to know that Charisma is something you can develop!

I’d love to share what’s worked for me over the years when speaking to audiences. CLICK HERE to speak with the REAL me and get your FREE ASSESSMENT for more clarity, charisma and confidence!

Better Business Communications: How to Make Every Moment Count

Tue, 01 Dec 2015 21:26:25 GMT

Half of every business moment is a performance. That’s a pretty strong statement, and here’s why it’s true.

I help people who desire more success to improve their communication skills, and I do this by using what I’ve learned during my career as an actress.

As you probably know, the job of an actor is to make someone else’s words sound as if they were their own and to deliver them with authenticity and animation. The goal is to:

Make the audience believe what you are saying
Cause the audience to feel the emotion of the moment
Help them to identify with what is happening

In business, the goals are similar. To be successful as an entrepreneur, you must come across as believable and trustworthy. You want to engage others on an emotional level that will help them to personally identify with what you offer and see the benefits of your products and services to them.

Here’s how to hone your communication skills and make every moment count during your next presentation.

When I was about to begin my work of helping those in the corporate world to practice better business communications, an actor friend gave me a copy of Martha Graham’s quote for inspiration. It was actually part of a letter from Martha Graham to Agnes DeMille, both great choreographers, and from the moment I read that extraordinary quote, I knew I had to find a way to use it in my work.

To this day, I use Graham’s words as a monologue. Every person I have ever taught, in business and at USC, has been encouraged to speak these words. It is the very essence of what my work is all about.

Here is what Martha Graham wrote to Agnes DeMille:

“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it.”

I use this quotation so extensively because of the potency of Martha Graham’s language. She used incredibly powerful, emotional words. It’s very difficult to say vitality, life force, quickening, block or unique without bringing passion, energy and animation to the words.

The concept is so simple that people tend to get this piece right away.

Martha Graham’s quote is an incredible tool, easily included for use on any emotional journey, but what’s truly great is that as you work with these words, your initial understanding of their basic sense will expand into an appreciation of even subtler shades of meaning.

When my students recite these words aloud, for example, they imbue them with humor, joy, and even pain. They have spoken these words completely outrageously – as well as very seriously.

Saying this passage is powerful, but I’d like to suggest you take it a step further.

I highly suggest that you commit these words to memory. When you have memorized, internalized, and taken ownership of them, the real work can begin.

Look closely again at the words in that quote. If you’re not really sure what they mean, or you want to go deeper and find even more meanings, take the time to look them up in the dictionary.

Once you’ve memorized the words, speak the quote aloud a few times. Don’t try to act it, simply get used to the sound of your voice saying these words.

At first this exercise may feel strange. It may be hard to say those words since you don’t normally speak this way, but that’s what a monologue is all about – saying someone else’s words and making them sound as if they’re your own.

Most of us have had some sort of experience with presenting material using something other than our own words. Even if it’s something as dry as a financial report, you can still establish a connection with the words you speak by expressing them with passion, energy and animation to make the moment better. Just because the material is boring doesn’t mean you have to be!

Be sure to include expressing the words in front of your mirror or better still, videotape your performance. If you like, send me a copy of the video in an email, and I’ll be happy to comment on your ‘performance.’

7 Truths of Emotional Poise: Communicating In the Midst of Death and Dying

Fri, 30 Oct 2015 20:31:16 GMT

Emotional poise is lost on many in Western culture today. The truth is that we have a difficult time dealing with death. Why is it that?

Of course, we love life, but we also know that a part of living is dying. And communicating when faced with death and dying is not just a problem with our own inevitable demise; avoidance and denial of the issues can cause us to be rote, ineffective sympathizers.

Unfamiliarity with our deepest fears, feelings and emotions causes us to be awkward and at a loss for words during difficult times. Lacking a facility for communicating our emotions robs those close to us in bereavement of the comfort and support we might provide.

It’s not about you even though it causes you to confront your own mortality.

We (Americans) don’t treat and honor death and dying as a part of the natural human process. Our lack of comfort with it is an expression of our dread and fear.

Over the years, I have witnessed so many people visiting and talking to, or trying to talk to, loved ones who are going through a serious illness or in the process of dying. Our lack of knowledge, combined with our inability to accept death as the completion of a normal cycle that occurs everywhere on earth, causes us to be ill prepared and not our real selves when death comes knocking at our door.

Communicating from a deeper, genuine place provides healing.

Last week, my second husband and father of my daughter, died of lung cancer. He had been diagnosed only two months before, and now he is gone. There have been so many Facebook comments to my daughter that say, “I’m so sorry for your loss”… and little more.

However, when we learn to dig a little deeper into our hearts and spirit, we can come up with something more original than that tired old way of getting us off the spot. We can be of genuine service to our suffering friends and loved ones.

People lacking emotional poise take the “easy way out” when it comes to expressing their feelings to friends and family who are in the midst of suffering or loss. What about just speaking from our hearts, expressing how our words may not say everything we are feeling? Instead, revealing that we feel helpless and wish that we could relieve some of their pain acknowledges the deep truths we share and creates intimacy and healing.

Compassion means ‘to suffer with.’ Here are some ways to deepen your ability to help, and define your compassion quotient:

Don’t avoid the bereaved assuming they’d rather be alone or with other close family or friends.
Don’t wait until ‘the right time’ or until enough time has passed. You risk appearing unfeeling or aloof.
Do send a handwritten note. It’s a wonderful opportunity to offer thoughtful condolences. Collect your thoughts and feelings and compose an appropriate message. Whether you were intimately acquainted with the deceased or had never met them, add a personal memory or a brief anecdote about a quality you recognized in them. Even if it’s only second hand, such as: “Although I never met your father, I remember how you loved his playfulness (or willingness to help, or his unwavering support, etc.)” This can mean so much!
Don’t encourage them to “get over it” or assure them it will get better with time. This only minimizes the loss.
Offer your time. This could be an afternoon tea where you reminisce together, or it could be just an extra minute or two on the phone. “Being there” for your friend instead of rushing off to the world of the living shows you care.
Unless it would clearly upset your friend, don’t hesitate to gently recall the deceased in the coming weeks – even months or years. They didn’t forget him and will appreciate that you didn’t either.
Most importantly, become aware of your emotional response to the highs and lows of life. Don’t try to avoid or deny the response. Allow the feelings and emotions of the event to be present (because they are). Keep breathing while attuning to the experience.

You’ll be pleasantly surprised to find a greater capacity for understanding, compassion and grace, as you become more familiar, if not comfortable, with pain and suffering and the rest.

Our ability to experience a tremendous range of emotions and communicate them is what makes us human. Embrace this ability, and you will become stronger – even as you feel more vulnerable.

Emotional poise acknowledges this truth: This too shall pass. And so will we all.

Are you having difficulty communicating how you’re feeling? Learning to express your emotions can bring incredible success to your relationships in business – and in life. Get my FREE video tips on communicating more successfully!

How to be Successful at Presenting You: Effective Skills for Business and Life

Mon, 26 Oct 2015 20:35:34 GMT

What is the real key to having more success in your life and business? If you’re like many entrepreneurs, the answer may surprise you.

Most people believe that being successful is the result of knowing and doing more than the next guy. While hard work is necessary for any business, it’s not always going to ensure you more success. Gaining knowledge can be helpful, but it’s sharing that knowledge that provides an almost endless list of benefits.

YOU are the heart and soul of what you do and what you have to offer.

Having the necessary knowledge and the willingness to work hard is a secret, they are hidden skills until YOU make these abilities known to others. The way you do this is by Presenting YOU. And to be successful at Presenting YOU, you must be able to communicate effectively.

Solid communication skills are the missing piece, the missing tool, for so many entrepreneurs.

Simply being able to talk is not enough for effective communication. When speaking, you must be able to engage the listener. The listener must be convinced of what you are saying and be able to believe what you are sharing with him or her. Presenting with confidence, clarity, and charisma will help others to buy into what you are offering, providing you much more success in business – and in life.

What are you doing to improve your communication skills, be more effective in business?

I want to give you something to help you quickly improve your communication skills, whether you’re presenting to a large audience, or simply engaging a client one-on-one. My FREE video tips will help you Stop the Anxiety and move you toward more successful presentations. Discover just how easy it can be to get what you want from an audience of one – or one hundred – every time.

How do you get what you want from an audience? Share it with me in the comments below. I’d love to hear what you are doing to successfully present YOU to audiences.

How to Inspire Others: Communicating Through Your Life Force

Wed, 07 Oct 2015 20:39:46 GMT

My online dictionary defines life force as: The spirit or energy that animates living creatures; the soul.

My question to you is how is your life force operating these days? Do you know how to inspire others when communicating?

Everywhere I go I notice that most of the people I meet, as well as those I work with, experience a struggle to connect with the energy and the spirit of others who are truly happy and sharing that happiness through their life force.

However, I’ve observed one person in the last week who is the perfect example of what it means to inspire others, who lives in and through their life force.

That person is Pope Francis! I have never seen another human being with such radiant charisma. His life force almost “glows” with love and caring as he reaches out to the children and the crowds.

The most inspiring part of his “being” is that it’s so simple, so real, yet charming and magnetic, filled with a quiet strength.

This is how love can look. This is how to inspire others.

Conversely, think of all the negativity we as a society are subjected to everyday. How about Donald Trump, or all the folks running for the presidency and the constant battering ram of criticism and gloom they dish out.

This Pope, this luminous man of peace, said in a speech yesterday, “God bless America.” And for the first time in years – I felt emotion for those words.

I don’t care what religion he is. And there seem to be millions more who agree and feel the same way. Many believe in him because he speaks from his heart with love.

How can you take the Pope’s message and establish it as the foundation of your life force?

This simple acting exercise might be of help. Assuming that you have observed Pope Francis in the news, under all kinds of circumstances (walking, riding, greeting the crowds or giving a speech) you can easily use this exercise to help you get a sense of him, how he is in the moment.

Start with the way Pope Francis smiles. Get a sense of his smile and the intention behind it.
How about his body, so calm and centered? See if you can use how he expresses his life force to ground and center your own.
Lastly, Pope Francis has a wondrous innocence about him, as if he is seeing something for the very first time. Practice seeing your world in this new way.

My work is all about helping people to look anew at their life force, where it lives in them and how to bring it forth.

To begin using your life force to inspire others when communicating, take a moment to look inwardly at the joy and love in your own life. Then, decide how and when to release that during your time of communicating.

If you say you can’t find anything positive and inspiring within, then I say go out into the world and find it. There are folks out there who are just dying to share a little joy and love – who won’t mind sharing theirs with you!

Start every communication with a ‘Pope Smile’ and see the difference it can make in your message and how it’s received.

Who inspires you? And why? Share it with us in the comments below! And if you’re ready to discover other ways to start using your Life Force, join in the discussion on Facebook and be sure to check this out.

Humans are Underrated: What Drives Your Deepest Nature

Wed, 02 Sep 2015 20:45:49 GMT

The cover story of August’s Fortune Magazine is an article by long-time Fortune contributor, Geoff Colvin, entitled Humans Are Underrated. It’s also the title of his new book.

Fortune Editor, Alan Murray, spotlighted the article in his Editor’s Desk piece saying, “…as we perfect machinery, that strategy [to get people to be more machine-like] is making humans more redundant. What we need in the future instead is for humans to act more like humans.”

For thirty years, I’ve been pushing a similar message, telling companies, “People don’t buy products – they buy personalities. Good companies develop their employees; great companies develop their people.”

Mr. Colvin, relating the importance of innate human behavior, says it’s all about the advanced technological age that we humans have created. Robots are replacing so many humans on the job, and doing it better, that there is hardly anything, job-wise, those robots cannot do, including surgery!

Can You Really Be Replaced?

Mr. Colvin suggests that we spend less time trying to figure out what robots and computers can never do, and focus more time emphasizing the human skills that drive our “deepest nature.” You see, we always find a new solution when necessary.

Underrated human abilities include:

Empathy
Social sensitivity
Collaboration
Storytelling
Leading
Relationship building

These interpersonal skills, and the self-knowledge required to master them, are at the heart of my work.

Over the years, I’ve spent considerable time trying to convince corporations that their people needed just as much attention as the creation of a new product.

It’s the humans who are present in all stages of the creative process. After all it was the humans who created the robots.

Isn’t it time that we start teaching, training and guiding students beyond the STEM subjects –science, technology, engineering, and math?
Haven’t we developed students who have more in common with the robots they create, rather than students whose interpersonal skills are in balance with their intellectual ones?
What can be done to recognize and appreciate the much needed, sadly underrated, human skills that are so quickly becoming lost to us?

What Drives Your Deepest Nature

The beauty is that corporations seem to finally be coming around to the idea of appreciating and giving value to the human element that is real people. Hopefully, instead of trying to replace humans, they will begin to make better use of what drives our deepest nature.

For so many years, we’ve had to put our basic nature aside while the left-brain took all of the glory. Now the opportunity exists to explore the total human being.

In this time of cascading technological breakthroughs, the truly wondrous entity is the human being whose unique abilities and innate qualities are what really matters.

I am so excited to be teaching and training in a world that has become seriously open to taking on humanity’s gifts and incorporating them into business life.

Here’s a great quote I would encourage you to consider from Meg Bear, Group Vice President at Oracle, “Empathy is the critical 21 ^st -century skill.”

What would you say is a critical 21 ^st century skill that you’re concerned we may be losing in our daily efforts to communicate? Share what drives your deepest nature in the comments below.

Communicating with Success Involves Your Choice to Take Action

Fri, 31 Jul 2015 20:54:28 GMT

A week ago I wrote a short comment on my Facebook page about my choice to see the documentary “Amy,” the story of the rise to success and tragic death of the gifted singer Amy Winehouse.

The film was moving, communicating the struggles of the young performer. It was also very depressing, staying with me for several days. It took me awhile to realize why it was so disturbing to me.

Here was a young woman who says at the beginning of the film that music and singing is all she cares about. It’s what she’s meant to do and her passion was evident. Her talent is immense. So immense that it seemed almost surreal to me.

I think this overwhelming talent and her seemingly childlike need for love, thanks to her father not being there when she was young, but definitely by her side when there was money and fame involved, had stacked the deck against her for achieving any kind of independence or self-esteem.

Amy’s story is a tragic one. Her relationship with her father, and her lousy choices in men were such a huge part of her story. The enablers who introduced her to drugs, even when she was clean, brought them back into her life.

I was upset that someone so young and so talented succumbed so easily to the people and things that would eventually kill her. It felt like such a waste. And the way she died.

It took me back again to that word – CHOICE. Ah, yes, the word that governs everything we do.

Amy Winehouse made a lot of horrible choices. Why Amy made those choices I can only guess. Her lack of confidence and self-esteem are certainly at the top of the list. Amy lacked responsibility for many things in her life, but not when it came to her music.

Amy Winehouse did not play it safe. She made some great choices about her singing style, but some lousy choices about relationships. By the end of the film, her passion is devoured by the booze and drugs.

What about you? Is your passion leading you or has it been eaten up by some of the choices you’ve made?

Maybe you’re afraid to make a choice that would likely lead to change because it’s just too scary. Maybe your choice has been to just stay with the status quo and not “rock your boat.”

My work is about helping people speak, present and communicate. It’s about getting to the ‘deeper things’ that hinder your success in life and business. Often, it involves helping others to develop a mindset for overcoming past choices and making some new ones; choices that can take them where they want to be.

Are you someone who is ready to make the necessary choices for more success in your speaking, presenting and communicating?

Maybe you’re like Amy – super talented with much to share – but instead of ‘getting out there’ and using what you have, you’re hiding, keeping the real you, your real personality from being seen.

Let me ask you: Are you going to spend the rest of your life living your passion or living in fear?

Would you be willing to risk fear and rejection and come out and play with all the others who have decided to be seen and heard? Are you ready to make the choice to join the many who are communicating with great success?

Make the CHOICE to open up to opportunities. If one doesn’t work – try another. The opportunity doesn’t have to be perfect (and neither do you) for success to become a reality.

Success comes with right choices. It starts with your choice to take action.

Schedule your Free Assessment call with me, today. Discover how to stop the anxiety you’ve experienced over speaking and presenting and get on a direct path to more successful communication.

Communicating from the Inside Out

Wed, 01 Jul 2015 20:58:33 GMT

I was cheering after I saw the new animated film, “Inside Out.”

What a wonderfully inspirational film about dealing with emotions from the point of view of an eleven-year-old girl. AND it’s a film by Pixar lending further credibility to a subject I’ve been teaching for more than thirty years.

Inside Out showed Anger, Joy, Disgust, Sadness and Fear (in gloriously animated color) for every person seeing the film to consider. Even the people who don’t see the movie will hear about this adventure into a young girl’s emotions.

The most important takeaway from viewing Inside Out is that children and their parents will have a whole new way to look at their emotions. Young children will learn not to be afraid of their emotions, that emotions are a part of who they are. Mom and Dad get a refreshing way to re-examine how they express themselves.

What actors know about working from the inside out – and the outside in

Paul Newman worked from the inside out, using his own emotional experiences to fulfill the emotional obligations of a scene. On the other hand, his wife, Joanne Woodward, worked from the outside in, using dress, makeup, or costume to fulfill the emotions in the scene.

Twenty-five years ago, in 1990, I wrote, “In my many years of doing this work I am certainly aware of the different kinds of training being offered in the areas of communication and presentation. So much of what’s offered is from the outside in, such as:

Present with Flair
Overcome Nerves
How to be a Better Speaker
How to Make an Impact
How to Connect with Your Listener

That’s all good except one thing – where is the training that speaks to communicating and presenting from the inside out?

In other words, where do your emotions fit in when presenting? What are the emotional tools that are necessary to make a great presentation, to make the sale, market to the buyer or lead a team?

Why you should be grateful to Pixar for making this film

Thanks to Inside Out, our children now have a way of connecting their feelings and emotions to a name and an aspect of their own personality. They can now identify with something that’s going on inside. Just yesterday, my 4-year old granddaughter said something and then commented that it was disgusting!

Can you imagine when the writers of this film first had the idea and presented it to the decision makers? It may have gone something like this: “This is a film about a little girl’s emotions that live in her head, and they are Disgust, Anger, Fear, Joy, and Sadness…”

(I wish I could have been a fly on the wall!)

All I want to say is that this is an extraordinary film with something for everyone! Talk about expressing emotions has been out there for years. But when you animate it and put these emotions in the head and heart of an 11-year-old it really hits home.

Because it’s offered in a way that is both accessible and fun, your children – and YOU – have more tools for relating your emotions.

Thanks to all the creatives who made this film, who have used a medium that I love, to point to the work that I love – helping others to successfully communicate from the inside out.

I’ve got my own series of short films that will give you even more easy, quick tools for greater success in speaking and presenting. Grab yours today!

Taking Center Stage: Understanding the Heart of Presenting

Wed, 17 Jun 2015 21:01:47 GMT

I often talk about the importance of “taking center stage.”

Taking center stage can happen on a small scale, such as walking into a room filled with people. Or it can be as major as making an entrance on a stage in front of a large audience, or in front of a camera.

It even happens at a meeting table where you are part of a business team, and you are about to speak.

No matter when or where it happens – how you take center stage is at the heart of your success when presenting. Understanding this makes your message a gift to your audience.

Successful presentations require heart.

When the person making an entrance would rather be having a tooth pulled, it shows. The audience, no matter the size, will see that this person hates attention, small talk, regular talk or any moment that makes them feel naked and on the spot.

As soon as he or she comes through the door, they are assuming that judgments will be made, and expectations will not be met.

So much fear and anxiety have built up before the entrance that failure almost certainly has the upper hand.

The fear of personal exposure, of being seen and scrutinized, is evident and makes the audience equally uncomfortable.

The opposite case involves a personality that craves attention.

This person must have attention to support their self-worth. They’re always “on” and have no clue how to make contact with others – and probably don’t care!

They love to talk (especially about themselves) and have the ability to go on forever without ever noticing the bored looks and lack of response from the poor people caught in his or her self-absorbed trap.

Be confident in your message and know your heart.

Successfully taking center stage requires a person to be confident in their message and comfortable in his or her own skin. Know what makes you tick and embrace it!

Understand how to:

• “Check in” with how you’re feeling at that particular moment
• Assess the level of your tension
• Guide it, use it as a tool to project energy toward your audience
• Enter with a smile and make great eye contact
• Animate your face and body, reflecting the words you speak

Owning the stage starts with a non-verbal entrance. All eyes are now on you, the speaker. The entrance has been a powerful one, and the audience is waiting anxiously to hear what you have to say. You just took center stage!

The bottom line is that ‘center stage’ exists anywhere you will be seen and/or heard.

It’s within your power to determine how you will be experienced and how your audience will benefit. You’ll be recognized as someone in charge of his or her presentation and full of personality when your heart is truly in it.

For more success, have a willingness to risk being judged. And, as long as you’re being judged anyway, why not embrace the vulnerability and seize the moment!

Once you experience the truth and power of not dying when someone “really sees you” – it will be:

• Easier
• Energizing
• Empowering

We’ve all been uncomfortable at times before or during a presentation. How have you had the heart to keep going in the midst of an uncomfortable presentation? Share it in the comments below. I’d love to hear it!

Learn to Take Center Stage and be a Performance Powerhouse! I’ll show you how to be more confident, convincing and comfortable in front of any size group and help you discover more Powerful Presentations.

How to Communicate Face-to-Face withYour Heart

Mon, 01 Jun 2015 21:04:21 GMT

Lately, I’ve talked a lot about attending Steve Harrison’s National Publicity Summit. Coming face-to-face with the reality of what I do, the heart of my business, and how to communicate this was almost overwhelming.

I was so inspired by what I learned there. So much information and guidance were made available to those attending on how to achieve your goals and, of course, I wanted to get everything done at once.

The many unique and new ways to market Laurie Burton Training have caused me to look deep into the heart of this business.

The experience has helped me to realize that:

There is so much more that I feel about what I do
There are so many different ways to get my word out
There are so many benefits I’ll be able to provide you

It was so important for me to come face-to-face with my gift, to realize this special ability and take it in again. I never truly embraced it, gave thanks for it.

How rewarding it is to teach people how to communicate with enthusiasm and passion
How rewarding to help others come face-to-face with their fears, overcome them and take charge of their lives
How rewarding to know that this is my calling; this is doing what I love

Through the process of developing news ways to market my business, I came face-to-face with me again

What a surprise! There I was the face of Laurie Burton Training. It had been a long time since I had said to myself, “Laurie, look at what you have accomplished.”

We forget to count our blessings, to give ourselves credit for what we have accomplished, or acknowledge that we are doing the work required to get our message out there.

How long has it been since you patted yourself on the back and came face-to-face with the fact that you’re doing a good job?
How long since you’ve communicated with your heart and told yourself, “I’m proud of you.”

Take stock of how much you do in a day. Are you proud of yourself? Or are you in the ‘tough on yourself’ category.

Can you imagine how much more you could accomplish if you just came face-to-face with your heart and listened to it?

So much of our society is devoted to judging people, but none more than ourselves!

Try these exercises for living, loving, expressing, and communicating with your heart:

Stop the stampede to success for just a few minutes and communicate something positive to yourself.
Sit quietly and just breathe. Focus on you, eyes closed. What have you done or accomplished or trying to accomplish in your life that you are proud of?
Love and appreciate who you are, where you’ve been and where you want to go.

Have questions about the art of communication? I’ve put my heart into writing the book that provides clarity, charisma and confidence. Get your copy TODAY!

Presenting and Communicating: Steve Harrison’s National Publicity Summit

Fri, 15 May 2015 21:08:00 GMT

I just returned from the National Publicity Summit where I “pitched” story ideas to as many as 120 television producers, radio hosts, producers, and journalists. This group represented (to name a few):

THE TODAY SHOW
FOX NEWS
CBS NEWS
ABC NEWS
THE MEREDITH VIEIRA SHOW
GOOD MORNING AMERICA
FORBES MAGAZINE
ENTREPRENEUR
USA TODAY
COSMO
SHAPE MAGAZINE
THE HUFFINGTON POST

The “pitch” is your story idea that you would like the person to whom you are pitching to use on their show. My pitches were “Personality Workout,” “Get That Job” and “Stop Performance Anxiety.”

Each pitch would last from 30-40 seconds, which leaves another two minutes for the interviewer to ask questions and get your answers.

When I first heard the length of the pitch, I thought it was too short, as it turned out it was plenty of time. Just imagine going on a job interview with 25 different people interviewing you all in one day! Then, you’re going to do it again for the next three days!

I talked to, “pitched,” more than 80 media professionals in three days – and that’s a lot of people. It was like speed dating for a TV or radio segment, or a print or online publication.

In the months preceding the summit I got extensive training with a marketing coach, writing coach and had a weekly phone interview where we could practice our pitches with different people on Steve Harrison’s team, and some with Steve as well.

The first day of the summit is a rehearsal day. We practiced our pitches for a number of people on the support team. I had memorized my three pitches (and felt pretty good about them) but as I walked up to my first practice person, I promptly forgot my lines. How embarrassing for me the “actor.” Gratefully, I was able to practice with many people and felt confident by the end of the day.

Day One of Pitching to the Media

When I started out, I was pretty much staying with the script I had memorized, but quickly realized I “knew what I knew,” and could adjust in the moment.

Days Two and Three

Days two and three were so much easier for everyone! I had some great feedback from the “Meredith Vieira Show,” “The Rachel Ray Show,” and many others. I’ll let you know when something comes together with all of these great contacts.

I’ve already had a conversation about possible work on a new ABC Family reality show. Right now, though, we have to send out follow-up info that the contacts have requested and begin building relationships with each one of them.

The Summit was an incredible experience, and I highly recommend it. I am positive that I will reap some powerful rewards from having taken part in it.

I’ll also be sharing some new creative ideas that are evolving for me, as a result of the Summit, that I think will interest you.

Want to get better at “pitching” your message to your market? CONTACT ME – let’s get you speaking and presenting with more confidence, clarity and charisma – for MORE SUCCESS!

Need a speaker for your event or show? I’ve been doing this a LONG TIME and I’m ready to address your audience!

Defining Vulnerability: Presenting with Powerful Expression

Thu, 30 Apr 2015 21:12:59 GMT

Brene Brown gives an impressive TED talk about the “Power of Vulnerability”. Over 2 million online viewers have benefited from Brene’s ability to present a defining message that says, “You are enough!”

During her talk, Brene challenges the viewing audience to “let yourselves be seen” and ends her time with these words… “Vulnerability is the birthplace of change, creativity, courage, and innovation.”

Every Speaker Who Desires Success Must be Willing to be Vulnerable

To be vulnerable means to be “susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm”. It’s not a very popular position to be in and the impulse to protect ourselves comes naturally; self-preservation seems reasonable. But to get the good stuff in life, you need to be open to the not-so-good stuff. There is a very real challenge in being able to see the benefits of bad experiences, but as a public speaker, being able to express what you’ve learned during painful times, openly and honestly, can be so powerful.

As any actor will tell you, one of the biggest challenges is to permit yourself to express vulnerability. In my career, it was so much easier to be tough and pretend that I was super confident. Thankfully, my acting teacher made me do vulnerability exercises – for two years – and during that time, I learned all about how to be emotionally available.

Remember Brene Brown’s definition of vulnerability? This is the place where you can discover:

Change
Innate creativity
Courage
Innovation

Make no mistake – vulnerability is a lesson worth learning because when you express your vulnerability, you begin to unlock fear that has been defining how you live your life. You’ll begin to see, hear, and feel with a different perspective. Consequently, others will begin to see you in a very different light, as well.

You’ll always experience those moments of embarrassment, self-consciousness and awkwardness that are truly uncomfortable. Don’t run from these. Instead, let them lead you to your vulnerable self, embracing a deeper, valuable level of self-awareness.

In time, you’ll begin defining yourself as:

Stronger
More confident
Less often offended
Successful at Presenting You and your message

Start Opening Your Vulnerable Side by Encouraging It

Once you’ve begun to rethink vulnerability and change how you define it, you’ll be more open to expressing your vulnerability – for more powerful presentations that bring you even more opportunities for the success you desire.

Looking for a speaker who has experience in the power of vulnerability for your next event? CLICK HERE for information on booking me to motivate and inspire your audience!

Great Communicators Know the Power of Listening

Thu, 02 Apr 2015 21:16:21 GMT

The dictionary defines life force as “the spirit or energy that animates living creatures; the soul.” Recently, while attending a business luncheon I looked around my table and was reminded, yet again, of the power of listening and how great communicators know the value it brings to one’s individual life force.

There were a total of six people at this table, including myself, but only one other that exhibited what I would call any real life force. I include myself in the count, because I was consciously working at listening, to make sure that I was animated and that my receptive energy was reaching out to the rest of the people.

Listening Is an Art unto Itself

The Power of Listening is such an important and powerful skill that rarely gets enough attention!

As an actor, I learned a long time ago the importance of listening. Not only is the camera filming the person speaking, but (as we have all observed) it’s also covering each person’s reactions to words being spoken to them.

Really, listening requires getting out of our heads and making the person speaking more important than our own thoughts and what we want to say in response. How many times have you begun to tell a story about an experience and the person “listening” jumps in and says something like, “Oh I know what you’re talking about. I had the same thing happen to me, it was a terrible experience!” Off they go and you are left with your story still unspoken.

Great Communicators Hear from Others

This may be my primary “beef” in life…people who are so caught up in themselves, so insecure, that they are constantly pushing their importance forward, rather than just listening with an open heart.

Abraham Maslow’s definition of “real” listening is to listen “without pre-supposing, classifying, improving, controverting, evaluating, approving or disapproving, without dueling what is being said, without rehearsing the rebuttal in advance, without free-associating to portions of what is being said so that succeeding portions are not heard at all.”

Believe me – I am guilty of not listening at times, as well. But I have learned how important it is to catch myself and refocus. When you learn to really listen, you learn to react and, in turn, allow that reaction to reach your face.

Listening then becomes a non-verbal feedback to the person speaking. That’s what we see in the movies when they cut from the person speaking to the person being spoken to. The audience is usually waiting for a response, which can sometimes determine the next action that takes place.

Keeping Your Audience Engaged Begins With Listening

I do a lot of speaking in front of people and it’s one of the most difficult things to do; not the speaking part, but the keeping the audience engaged part! Each audience member is naturally going to be thinking of other things when you speak, it’s human nature, so it’s the speaker’s job to keep them actively listening and engaged as much as possible. I do that by expressing myself with energy, animation and passion.

Energy, animation and passion are also an integral part of listening. Here’s why:

When you listen with energy and animation people will believe that they are being heard.
When people feel that you are really listening to them, they will be able to trust you more.
When people have more trust toward you, they will be more willing to hear from you.

Remember to Listen with Your Heart AND Your Head

This is precisely the power great communicators have come to know – the power of genuinely listening or, “active” listening, with the heart and not just the head. Practice this type of listening and you’ll be amazed at how well you’ll be able to engage people, giving you even more success as a communicator.

If you could use a little help with the art of listening or keeping an audience engaged, I invite you to contact me TODAY to find out how easy AND FUN it can be to be the successful and sought after speaker you know you were meant to be!

Grab my 15 FEAR-BUSTING TIPS FOR SPEAKERS and Get 15 Minutes with me, one-on-one, absolutely FREE!

Communicating with Your Creativity: Creative Impulses

Fri, 13 Mar 2015 21:21:18 GMT

The Creative Impulse (im’ puls), n. the influence of a particular feeling or mental state; a sudden, involuntary inclination, prompting to action; an impelling action or force, driving onward or inducing motion.

I talk a lot about the creative impulses constantly streaming in and out of our bodies with my clients and I just couldn’t resist writing about it.

Sometimes these impulses are dominated by tension, sometimes by relaxation, and other times they serve as the driving force behind our creativity. Creativity, like other impulses, can be part of a deliberate process, or it can be completely unconscious.

Don’t be fooled into assuming creativity is just for artists!

If you’re not an artistic person, think of creativity as “problem-solving” and you’ll see that it’s hard-wired into our biology. We humans always try to make a better mousetrap—we tinker, noodle, fix, figure out, solve, test and try something over and over until we’re satisfied with the improvement. The creative impulse has us puzzling over existing ideas or forms until we imagine entirely new ones.

Sometimes an idea hatches out of the blue— the ecstatic “ah ha!” that comes in the shower, or lying in bed, drowsy and half-awake. Other times, we can only wish an answer would appear— but not even persistence and dogged determination go anywhere but to a dead end. And often, when we throw up our hands in defeat, an unleashed impulse of insight takes a flying leap over frustration to a surprising new possibility.

After struggling and trying, the sudden solution to a thorny problem arrives in a flash of inspiration: the flow has begun, the creative connection lets us easily make the next move on a chess board or soccer field or in a planning session; write the perfect line in a speech, poem or script; or see how to resolve a conundrum—in a relationship or mathematical equation.

Creative impulses connect old ideas in startling new ways—and while our efforts are both conscious and unconscious, that leap of insight is a pure gift of the subconscious.

The creative process can be unpredictable and is not easily defined.

Sometimes the act of creating feels like making magic. Those are the times when I have to get out of my own way and trust that I know what I know. At other times, I’ve planned every step and then the creative process begins to unfold—or not.

We all have the capacity to create magic! After all, each one of us is an original, and the number of ideas infinite—but we can lose sight of our original potential when we’re afraid that what we have to offer isn’t enough.

Creativity and the ability to express ourselves work hand-in- hand. One of my main goals is to teach people not only how to express themselves but how to use that expression to launch their own creativity.

Take part in your own creative process. Never ignore your creative impulses. Instead, find the magician that’s alive in you, and find what brings that energy out. Along the way, you’ll learn to make friends with frustration and getting stuck because you’ve learned to have faith that you will get to the other side.

Looking to act on your creative impulses with more clarity and confidence? I’d love to help you and share what I’ve learned over the past 30 years of helping others to speak, communicate and present with greater success.

Successful Communicators Cross the Imaginary Line

Sat, 28 Feb 2015 22:24:15 GMT

I’ve mentioned crossing the imaginary line in at least one of my previous blog posts. I think it deserves a more detailed discussion because it plays such a key role in successful communications.

The Imaginary Line

An imaginary line exits between you and any other person, group of people, or audience. You must project yourself and your message across this Imaginary Line. And by project, I don’t mean convey or present, but rather throw or send over. Think of casting out a line to catch a fish. You really must cast your words, your energy, your emotions and your message out into the “sea” of people in order to “catch” their attention.

Think for a minute how many times you have heard a speech or had a conversation with someone who spoke from “behind the imaginary line.” Watch for this kind of “communicator” – they’re everywhere. Ask yourself, “Is this person reaching me, affecting me, intriguing me, inspiring me?” No? Then they are not crossing the imaginary line; they are staying safely behind it, not extending themselves and their energy.

Crossing the Imaginary Line

Crossing the imaginary line requires some dedication on your part – but I promise it will lead to success. Your energy level is the key here, the leader when it comes to crossing the line. Your face, words and body must reflect the energy you intend for a particular moment. It requires you to have a deep knowledge of self and how you can manipulate (and I mean this in the most positive way) your energetic level through all the emotional colors you express.

The best way to begin the practice of crossing the imaginary line is to check in frequently with your energy level. One technique you might try: choose a color that describes your energy level right now.

My color, right now as I write this post, feels like a medium blue. When I’m finished, I’ll go and cook dinner for my family and I would guess my color would become more of a yellow-orange. With practice, this can become a shorthand way to acknowledge where you are at any given moment; decide if it’s serving you or if you should call up a better color/energy from your inner repertoire.

For additional feedback about your energy level, ask your friends and family to describe the color of your energy in the moment. It’s so important to know how others perceive you. You may be very surprised!

Don’t be just one color. Don’t be just one note. Don’t be boring, monotonous or disengaged. Reach out to others with your passion, energy and animation and cause them to feel something, to have an experience.

Communicating from Your Wilderness

Sun, 15 Feb 2015 22:27:53 GMT

“Wilderness” is a wonderful poem by Carl Sandburg. Each stanza begins with a different animal. I have chosen the one about the eagle and the mockingbird as an example about communicating from your own wilderness:

“There is an eagle in me and a mockingbird . . . and the eagle flies among the Rocky Mountains of my dreams and fights among the Sierra crags of what I want . . . and the mockingbird warbles in the early forenoon, before the dew is gone, warbles in the underbrush of my Chattanoogas of hope, gushes over the blue Ozark foothills of my wishes – And I got the eagle and the mockingbird from the wilderness.”

(To read the rest of this incredible poem visit the Poetry Foundation.)

What, you may be asking, does this have to do with communicating? Just as I have talked about using different colors to inspire and enhance your speaking and presentations, I would now like to offer using a sense of an animal to help emphasize the emotions you use behind the words you are speaking.

Which animal would you choose?

Let’s say the overall intention of your speech is to inspire your audience. Then I would ask you, what animal inspires you?

When you see the animal or a picture of it, how does it make you feel? What is it about the animal or their behavior that makes you feel that way? Can you get a sense of that animal in your body?

If I were to choose an animal that inspires me, I would choose the grey whale because of their gentleness, and because of their tenacity in their six thousand mile journey they make each year from Alaska to Baja California to mate and give birth. There is a sense of calm and majesty about them, as I picture them gliding though the waves that serves to settle me, while giving me a sense of power as I prepare to speak in front of an audience.

What if you wanted to entertain and have fun with your audience?

What animal do you readily see as fun and entertaining? I might choose a young chimpanzee. I would emphasize getting a sense of how loose their bodies appear, how freely they swing from tree to tree and how devilish they can be playing with their mothers and each other.

I would work on the innocence in their faces and how their big eyes make me feel connected with the kid in me.

You don’t have to act like a chimpanzee. Instead, try to:

• Feel their essence and energy
• Allow those feelings to affect how you communicate in the moment

Let’s try an exercise

Standing in front of a mirror, get a sense of how an elephant makes you feel. Now, let it into your body. (Don’t be shy; it’s just you and the mirror.)

What about a lion? What is your face doing now? How do lion eyes look, as opposed to the eyes of a kitten?

You might be thinking I’ve gone too far – and that’s OK. All I ask is that you give it a try.

Actors use animals in their work all the time, so why shouldn’t you? There are all kinds of tools and skills out there that you can use to heighten your speaking, presenting and communicating.

Take some chances and expand your repertoire of expression. Your audience will love you more for it and YOU will have more fun doing what you love!

For more great tips on Speaking, Presenting and Communicating get your copy of PRESENTING YOU – or contact me today to see just how you can communicate from your own wilderness!

How to Give Your Business a Personality Workout

Fri, 30 Jan 2015 22:30:45 GMT

There have been times when I’ve finished a workshop, only to come away feeling less than satisfied. Not so much with myself, but with how so many people seem to be happy with their status quo way of “being.” As if not expressing much personality somehow makes them feel safe and secure.

I would put this number at about half of the business community I’ve worked with. Great people in so many ways, who:

Are looked up to in business
Have made it to the top – or near the top
Have been “around the block” – once or twice
Have paid their dues – and then some
Work hard – may even be workaholics and proud of it

Whose personalities are, unfortunately, totally locked in!

Your personality is governed by how you view others, your environment, your life experiences; the obvious things, as well as things you can’t see or don’t even realize.

For those who operate without much personality, it can often be traced to a lack of trust in themselves or the people they work and associate with. Sometimes it’s also complacency. They figure that since work-life has been pretty good so far – why risk it? Why do anything that might “rock the boat?”

Now lets be clear, I’m in the business of teaching people how to expand their personalities. I help them connect with the fact that WHO they are and HOW they come off to others should be the ultimate experience for anyone they meet! My clients ARE interested in changing the “business as usual” mode and this is what sets them apart…but what about those who just don’t see the need for clarity, confidence or charisma when communicating with others?

The Benefits of a Personality Workout

Change takes time and commitment, for sure. But when you’re willing to look at all of the benefits change can provide and how your personality factors into the difference between success in your business, career and (most importantly) your life – isn’t it worth the time to work out your personality traits/issues?

I believe that there’s as much reason for giving your personality a workout as there is for physically working your body, and here’s why…

Personality Attracts Relationship
Relationship Influences, Inspires
Inspiration Leads to Production
Production Reveals Competence
Competence Breeds Confidence
Confidence Builds Success

If you’re the type of leader who has trouble connecting with others, who is less than animated and hates giving speeches, then obviously there will be some intense workouts required to build your personality, focus on its strengths and increase your influence.

Why Are So Many Leaders Content with Being One-Dimensional?

Leaders should recognize that employees are less than inspired by one-dimensional leadership, often to the point of creating a high turnover of employees. The effect of a one-dimensional leader on the overall customer experience can sink a business – and FAST!

People in business owe it to themselves to be constantly checking in on their leadership skills, people skills and what I like to call ‘humanity” skills or soft skills. If only business owners were as dedicated to the personality of their business as they are to the products produced, what a success story they could have!

What kind of personality would your business take on, if you gave your individual personality a workout and devoted a little more time to developing the ‘humanity’ side of what you do and how you do it? Contact me TODAY and I’ll help you see the unlimited value of a ‘personality workout’ in your business!

Communications from Your Past for Your Present and Future Success

Thu, 15 Jan 2015 22:34:45 GMT

I recently woke up from a dream where I was 22 again and going though a breakup with a boyfriend from college. (A definite communication from my past.) I was moving back home to California and he was staying in Missouri and in the dream, I experienced the pain of that breakup once again.

When I awoke, I lay in bed for a long time feeling those same feelings again. Always amazed by the power of dreams and past emotions, I asked myself, “just how much of that younger me do I carry around with me now?”

My answer: She’s always there. I just need to call her forward. A little concentrated inner focus and she’s available.

Your Past Communicates with Your Present

I’ve done a lot of thinking about what seemed to me to be a loss of my younger self. I looked at some pictures taken of me when I was young – wow, that face and body! I was appreciating the younger me through the eyes of the woman I am now. It caused me to feel and appreciate my life’s journey as I’ve never quite done before.

So many of us go though life’s ups and downs, all of the success and failure, without taking stock of how we have been able to survive.

Today I can say with confidence that I am very proud of what I have accomplished so far in this, my life. I hope that you can say the same for yourself.

By thoughtfully reflecting on and re-membering (letting a life-altering experience back into your body) you can have renewed access to the lessons learned and now, with the added wisdom and perspective of the person you’ve become, let it move you beyond fear, to future success!

Dream with Intention

How to go back to that younger you? Though difficult without some practice, it is possible to call forth a dream with intention. You can also just try and feel (re-member) the emotions that the younger you felt around an event, be it an awkward or embarrassing date. ..a poor job interview or a shining moment of achievement.

My intention in sharing these thoughts with you is to encourage you to explore the younger you and find a way to incorporate that youthful zest and emotion with the older wiser one.

Just think of it as an emotional bridge between past and present, a place where all the colors of you exist. This bridge will only add depth to your ability to express yourself , providing greater success as a speaker, presenter and communicator.

Past Experiences Guide Us Into the Future

As I continued the process of reflecting and re-membering, I realized that as a 22-year-old my passion for life had a lot more to do with the opposite sex than it had to do with a “life passion.” Remember that where you once were, thankfully, is not where you must remain!

I also tapped into how innocent and one-dimensional I was. I continued to explore my past as it flowed into the present and I was able to see and feel the sources and foundations of my passion for life, why I love helping others to discover their passions, often by connecting with their youthful selves.

I’m also looking at the difficult parts of my youth, how I handled them then – and how those experiences have affected my work today – and the role they will continue to play in my future success.

I guess it was part the dream and part coming into another year that initiated this journey into myself, but it was also the realization that so many people of the people I work with bring a lot of pain and fear when we start.

Fear of speaking and communicating doesn’t just suddenly happen to us when we’re older, it’s usually born in our youth. But by emphasizing the lively, joyful and positive emotions, as well as acknowledging the rough patches from your past, you can reshape that old fear, to work with it and through it!

In my book, Presenting YOU, it becomes easy to see that you really are the total of your life experience, so the inclusion of all that worldliness only serves to make you a more compelling and captivating speaker, presenter and communicator.

The Greatest Communicator: Life

Tue, 23 Dec 2014 22:39:27 GMT

I write this blog to thank those who have been a part of the Laurie Burton Training experience. I love what I do! Helping people to be the best communicators possible is the greatest privilege I can imagine. It’s so exciting every time someone realizes their true potential and is able to embrace their individuality. And yet, there are times when life forces me to also “practice what I preach.”

The Greatest Communicator

All of my life I’ve been attracted to art, painting and drawing, but I would never attempt it, because in my mind my drawing ability was not very good. In fact, I thought it was awful!

My mother, father and stepfather were all gifted artists, so this alone was intimidating – plus the fact that I could barely draw a stick figure. Put it all together and it was the kind of overwhelm so many people feel about speaking and presenting in front of a group! It’s just easier to avoid it.

Six years ago, I started doing sketches of mountains and trees. I tried western-style painting and even figure drawing (where you draw real-life naked models)…a real experience! The bottom line (no pun intended) was that neither the approach, nor the teacher, appealed to me.

One day, a friend recommended that I try Chinese Brush Painting. It not only sounded really interesting, but I found a teacher with experience in my local area. Let me shorten the story by telling you that I fell in love with Chinese Brush Painting! It speaks to my spirit and on top of that, my teacher, Nan Rae, is such an inspiration and gifted artist. The experience has been more than I had hoped for.

The Right Reactions for Success

A month ago, a fellow artist and friend told me about an art show and suggested I buy a space and show some of my paintings. Surely, my work wasn’t that good. How could I compete with all of the “real” artists in the show? (Do you find yourself having similar reactions about your abilities, gifts and passions?)

These are the same thoughts and reactions my clients have when facing their personal fears, considering how much of themselves they must put forward in order to speak, present and communicate with success.

It’s easy to believe that people are going to judge and compare you to other presenters and speakers, isn’t it? It’s easy to believe that you just don’t have the “talent” or “personality” to take that on…to put yourself center stage and own that presentation. Life was communicating to me via this new experience and it was up to me to learn.

I had to practice what I’ve been preaching all these many years.
I had to be willing to check into the facts – the ‘why’ behind my insecurities about my paintings.
I had to look at how I have never been afraid to try something new in my life and why this was different.
How did I really feel about my work?
Why did I question whether I was “worthy”?

It came to me again, that life-long lesson that even the greatest communicators have had to learn: It isn’t about what others think! It’s about how you feel about your work.

In this case, the work was my painting, and how I approached it all changed once I was able to:

Get out of my own way
Get out of my head
Get into my emotions

I love Chinese Brush Painting and if I could, I would do it every day. I’ve created six or seven pieces that I can truly say I love. (There were also many more that were not very good) but the point worth making is this: You only learn to paint a bamboo leaf by painting thousands of them.

Once again, life has proven to be the greatest communicator, offering up an incredible learning experience that I can use to benefit others.

You must open your heart to yourself as well as the others you interact with. What you love about yourself is what others will be able to love about you. And when you are willing to share this with the world, it will be what brings you success every time you are communicating!

3 Quick Tips to Better Engage Your Audience

Thu, 18 Dec 2014 20:16:50 GMT

If you have to speak and give presentations for a living, chances are good that you’re always looking for tips on how to better engage your audience. Even if, like me, you’ve been in front of audiences for years, it never hurts to re-evaluate your ‘performances’ and see where there might be room for improvement.

3 Quick Tips to Better Engage Your Audience

Quick Tip #1: While there are many ways to make a story interesting, the most effective way to make yourself more interesting and engaging is with charisma.

Charisma can be defined as being ‘fully yourself’. People with charisma are generally:

Engaging
Charming
Energetic
Attractive
Vibrant

Is it any wonder that the most effective leaders, speakers and influencers are those who possess charisma? After all, who doesn’t want to hang around and hear from those who fit this definition?

While some are born with an abundance of charisma, others must learn the trait. If you don’t feel your charisma is at the level you’d like it to be, the worst thing you can do is fake it. Real charisma happens when you’re able to be real with your audience. And being real with your audience gets you real results!

Quick Tip #2: Connecting with your audience, regardless of size, requires your emotional involvement. Emotions are necessary for connecting on a variety of levels. Without an emotional connection, nothing changes (for you, or your audience). But everything changes and anything becomes possible when you cause people to feel something, to have an experience. You help your audience make important decisions about you and what you do or offer, as well as what you are saying and presenting, when you create an emotional connection.

Quick Tip #3: We all come equipped with one of the most powerful tools, yet using it to engage an audience is all too often overlooked. The human body is an amazing way to engage, steer, and even position an audience when presenting your message. To communicate with total clarity, use the entire body – all of the equipment you’ve been given.

Your body provides unlimited ways for engaging your audience and getting your message to them by:

Expressing through your eyes
Animating your face
Positioning your body
Hand gestures
Head nodding, shaking, turning
Vocal levels and tones
And so much more…

Every time you are willing to communicate from a deeper level than just the surface of your personality, you are giving your audience a true gift – and giving yourself the opportunity for more success when speaking, presenting and communicating.

What are some of your favorite tips for engaging an audience? The best tips are those shared from personal experience and I’d love to hear yours! If you’re still looking for better ways to engage and realize more success in your presentations, contact me and let’s communicate about how to be more effective when Presenting YOU.

Ten Tips to Experience Unlimited Success When Communicating

Tue, 16 Dec 2014 22:50:05 GMT

All great communicators share the common skill of being able to express themselves freely, connecting words and emotions during presentations. While it may seem that some people experience unlimited invitations to speak and present their message, the truth is that a lot of communicating, building relationships and networking has gone on behind the scenes for them to experience this kind of success.

Being in the “Top Ten” Doesn’t Just Happen

We all come equipped with great tools for expressing ourselves, so why do some experience more success when communicating than others do? What is it that makes some speakers so sought after?

Your voice, eyes, face and body give you unlimited ways to communicate. If you haven’t yet recognized the benefits of all the “equipment’’ you possess, you’ll be thrilled to see how these Ten Tips, consistently practiced, can help you to experience more success when speaking, presenting and communicating.

Unlimited Success Begins With an Experience

If your first public speaking experience involved getting up in front of your elementary school classmates, you may still carry the memories of that fearful and traumatic moment with you. (Young audiences can be some of the toughest!) The results of a bad speaking experience can follow us even into adulthood, threatening to keep us tongue-tied, incapable of realizing our full potential.

But even the worst experiences can be overcome with a little training and practice. To move past your past, stop the anxiety and regain control when speaking and presenting, you’ve got to:

Face your fears
Get back in front of an audience
Use your experience
Give your audience an experience

Ten Tips to Experience Unlimited Success in Communication

1. An audience wants authenticity. They will see your message as unique, because you are unique. And most audiences won’t settle for anything less than the real you. It may require courage, but once you’ve learned to stop playing it safe and begin to offer your audience a genuine experience, you’ll actually begin building the relationship so necessary to your success in communication.

2. Don’t hide. Face whatever it is you fear and choose to use that fear to your advantage. Remember: control what you can, let go of the rest and don’t let your ego rule you. (Let go of the podium, while you’re at it!)

3. Introduce yourself and own who you are. Your name is the single most important element you present in selling yourself and your product. Your name iswho you are. Say it with confidence and you’ll give your audience the confidence they are seeking to be able to hear from you and respect what you are saying.

4. Position yourself as an expert. Standing in a “fig leaf” position (hands crossed in front of your body) is a type of “protection stance”. The “reverse” fig leaf (standing with your hands behind your back way) is a way of holding on to yourself. Instead, use those hands to reach out to your audience and invite them in, expressing what you are saying with powerful gestures to emphasize the importance of your words.

5. Avoid a disconnect. When you’re speaking, be sure that the feeling in your voice matches your words. For instance, when saying something like, “I really loved sharing this time with you,” are the words genuinely reflected in your face and body? If not, you’ve allowed a “split” to occur; an interruption has taken place between your mind, body and emotions, so your message and your delivery aren’t in alignment. This, in turn, can cause a real disconnect between your message and your audience.

6. If you aren’t excited about who you are, what you do and your business – then who is? If you are excited you must animate your face and body to match that. Otherwise, your audience won’t know it. You must have the feeling, as well as the ability to express what you feel, when communicating with success.

7. Embrace emotions. To really connect with an audience, you have to get a little emotional. You really can’t engage without emotions. Your emotions are an inherent part of your character and an important part of presenting YOU when facing an audience. The most powerful presentations are the ones that touch the audience, causing people to: Think, React, Feel.

8. Be creative and colorful. If you were to describe yourself as a color, what color would you be? For instance, you might feel that your color would be Red or maybe you see yourself as Navy Blue. To demonstrate the power of color behind words, try the following exercise using the word ‘proud’.

Stand in front of a mirror.
Envision the color red.
Say the word proud, letting the color red influence the way you say the word.
Now envision the color Navy Blue.
Looking into the mirror, say the word “proud,” letting the color Navy Blue influence your meaning behind the word.

How did the color affect what you said, how you delivered the word ‘proud’? Red usually creates a fiery, passionate presentation. Navy blue might make the speech more serious, while retaining a measure of warmth. You can even use different colors to emphasize individual words, like the color yellow to introduce yourself and maybe a deep purple to end your speech.

9. Soft Skills, Intrapersonal Skills or People Skills. Whatever you call them, these skills are important building blocks in any relationship and relationship is important to successful communication. Soft Skills are about you and how you consistently conduct and present yourself in most situations. Starting with your body language and eye contact, ask yourself how you measure up.

Are you at ease and comfortable in your own skin? Are you animated and enthusiastic, able to listen and engage with others?

How do others really see you? Ask those you trust to answer the questions above about you and be willing to learn and ‘adjust’ where needed.

Soft Skills aren’t hard – just necessary. Take the time to find out more about the many benefits of practicing these skills.

10. Know Your Passion. Everyone who speaks and presents must (at some point) ask themselves “why” they do what they do. The “why” is actually your passion. If you’re passionate about what you’re talking about, it will be heard and seen in your:

Voice
Eyes
Body language
Animation

If your passion isn’t showing, it may be time to reconsider what you’re doing.

Your confidence will always be at its highest level when you are passionate about what you are doing. Confidence is a huge factor in the level of success you will realize.

Knowing your passion, being able to identify why you do what you do, brings self-awareness.
Knowing who you are allows you to be yourself, the foundation of the type of confident behavior that also gives your audience confidence in what you are saying.

Is there a great communicator within you, just waiting to present his or herself to the world? If so, these 10 Tips will help you experience more success with unlimited opportunities. Need more information on how to Stop the Anxiety when presenting and communicating? Click Here for additional free and beneficial tools.

How Body Image Affects Making a Speech, Presentations

Thu, 11 Dec 2014 21:18:27 GMT

Question: What is more nerve wracking, exposing, vulnerable, or jeopardizing than making a speech or presentation in front of people?

Answer: Making a speech or presentation in front of people and not having a positive feeling about how you look.

Very few things in life can cause a person to feel as immediately uncomfortable as their appearance. From our physical size to the clothing we wear, body image is a big deal for most of us.

But here is the strange part about it. People get so caught up in their presentation that they forget (or never realize) how a negative body image affects making a speech. It can make all the difference in your success as a public speaker.

Audiences can smell fear and doubt from the back of an auditorium or conference room.

If a person is so worried that an audience will notice how overweight they are, it is certain to color the effectiveness of his or her speech. Whatever the speaker’s insecurity:

Height
Weight
Age
Dress
Language
Facial features
Concern for remembering important bullet points

This is what will be leading the speaker, driving the speaker to make a less than successful speech.

Though some speakers will try and cover up for a particular insecurity with clothing, they usually wind up worrying about whether the cover up is actually working. Fear of being found out takes over. Rather than being present for the audience and reaching out to the audience with their words, the speaker gets too caught up in worrying about that sweater or jacket that is supposed to cover their stomach (or other troubling body area) feeling in constant jeopardy of being exposed.

Great opportunities are often greatly diminished by low self-esteem or body image. Don’t try to hide what cannot be covered up when giving a speech or presentation. There is a more effective way to overcome concerns with body image.

Find a way to “make friends” with and accept that part of your body that is bothering you.
Before beginning, consider whether you are really up to dealing with your personal reflection.
Begin with the realization that the human body makes a major contribution to a presentation.
Speeches are words expressed by the entire body – so how you believe an audience sees you is very important to the success of your presentation.

To find out just how healthy your personal body image is, simply stand in front of a mirror and look at yourself.

What do you like about your body and face? (Of course, it’s easy to go right to the negative. Instead, make every effort to be positive).
Really look at the part (or parts) that you are less than happy about.
Be honest about why this area bothers you.
Be honest about what you can do about the area that troubles you.
Be honest about what you cannot do about the area that troubles you.

For instance, if it is your weight – are you willing to go on a diet? If so, start! If not – can you live with the extra weight? Can you allow yourself to get past it, “make friends” with it and move on?

Whatever your body image struggle, how you deal with it will affect your success in presentations. If you can get past the negative, you will open up nothing but positive results for you and your audience – and the experience of successful presentations will be yours.

Good luck with this. If you have any questions or comments on how body image affects your ability to give speeches and presentations, please let me know.

Better Public Speaking: Combining Skills with Facets of Your Personality

Thu, 30 Oct 2014 19:20:48 GMT

As I have mentioned previously in my blog, my background is in acting. So many times in my life I have used skills I learned as an actor to strengthen and intensify my message as a speaker, coach and trainer.

Better public speaking happens when you begin combining the skills you possess with facets of your personality. The purpose of this post is to familiarize you with yet another skill that will ease your tension and fear when out there speaking and presenting.

What happens to the ‘real you’ and why

I spend a lot of time talking and writing about how important it is to just “be yourself” when you’re in the spotlight. However, I realize this is so much easier said than done. We all know that when your name is called or you’re the next one up to speak, “being yourself” can easily become you, yourself and some other speaking demon that has captured your mind and body. The ‘relaxed-just-be-yourself’ you, is suddenly gone. All eyes are on you, but the tension demon is in charge and, if you don’t deal with the tension demon proactively, it will undermine you in countless ways:

forgetting what you were going to say
cold sweats
unconscious nervous gesturing
moving about unsteadily
ultimately, anything that takes you away from connecting with your audience

Ah… but there are skills that can subdue the demon

As the title to this article suggests, we all have facets, sides, or different colors to our personalities. We’re going to explore these facets to aid us in fighting the tension demon.

Let me start by making a partial list of some different sides of my own personality as an example. My personality consists of:

The Nurturing Mother
The Wise Woman
The Teacher
The Inspirational Leader
The Critic
The Perfectionist
The Loner
The Strong Woman
The Angry Woman
The Explorer
The Little Girl
The Sexy/Feminine Woman
The Funny Lady
The Free Spirit

These are just a few of the facets to my personality, but the motivation for this list is to get you to think about the many different facets to your own personality.

Why acquaint yourself with your individual personality sides? So you know the depth and breadth of who you are and what you have to offer and can call on your inner strengths whenever they are needed.

Begin combining what you know with who you are for better presentations

The facets and aspects of your personality are basic weapons in your arsenal that can help fight off the demon tension. It works like this: you’re getting ready to take the stage or make a presentation. Your intention is to just “be yourself,” but you know that the demon is waiting in the wings to derail you as soon as you begin. Why not assume (or wear) one of your better, stronger sides to start the presentation? You might start by calling forth the inspirational leader, the free spirit, or the teacher, any part of you that gives you courage and confidence.

The secret to this skill is tapping an essence, a facet, a depth of your personality that can help you take on – and defeat – the tension demon. You can use as many sides as you like in the course of a presentation! The goal is to allow you just relax and be comfortable just being yourself, while being an effective communicator.

Ultimately, this better way of speaking and presenting will support you in connecting with your audience, making a greater difference in their lives.

Make your own list about yourself

I’ve shared some of my personality facets. Now, it’s your turn to identify the personal traits you know and recognize within you. Include as many aspects as you can. Remember, even though they may not all be positive, they are still highly valuable. Don’t forget to understand and use your many colors – your personal arsenal of powerful forces that, when combined with the skills you possess, will make you a powerful force when speaking and presenting.

AUTHENTICITY—IT’S REAL

Thu, 09 Oct 2014 19:33:26 GMT

I recently received an email from a very close friend after sharing dinner together the night before. She said, “Laurie, after seeing you and even through today one word kept popping up whenever I thought of you: AUTHENTIC! Yes, that’s what you are and I wonder if you know how rare that is?”

I offer this example not as an ego trip but as a foundation for the following:

I have this thing about the word “authentic.” It’s been so overused. Calling something authentic doesn’t make it so.

My aversion to the word started about five years ago when we were creating a new web site and rebranding Laurie Burton Training. The marketing team we had hired recommended we use the word “authentic” as a part of our branding. Then, as now, the word was everywhere. I had come to hate the baseless use of the word authentic. I thought the word was pretentious, overblown and showy. If something was called “authentic” it was supposedly automatically worthwhile, but rarely did I find the true value of the word. It seemed a false representation of something that really had little value and needed to look and feel as if it did.

It was a word used to impart importance, like adding a beautiful topping to a poorly made cake. I never felt support from that word. It was like the words “awesome” and “amazing” – misused, abused and overused.

I decided to look up the meaning and here is what the Thesaurus had to say:

Authentic adj.
1 an authentic document: genuine, real, bona fide, true, veritable; legitimate, lawful, legal, valid; informal the real McCoy, the real thing, kosher. ANTONYMS fake.

Now these were words I could relate to. These words represented the heart of “authentic.” These words represent an integral part of Laurie Burton Training. Now I can look at the word with respect and a more open heart.

I ask you to explore the authentic version of yourself. The real you. The person, you know yourself to be. Not some version that lives over and above you. Not some mask that you wear to make nice and get along. Authenticity requires courage, the courage to look into the face of change and choose a different path BUT BE WHO YOU ARE. To stop playing it safe!

My work is teaching people how to speak, present and communicate – many would rather face death than risk standing up and being seen and possibly criticized and judged for being inauthentic, uninspiring and dull. Heaven forbid that they should start to feel all that life can offer.

My wish is for every person to find the courage and the willingness to risk some failure. No matter how much a person can hide, life has a way of finding you, calling you out into the open for the world to see. You may feel naked, but I promise you as you stand there in your nakedness, totally vulnerable you will start to feel the power that lies in your authentic self. It is the center, the core, the foundation upon which we build all personality traits and skills.

How wonderful to be able to speak and be yourself!

How to Realize Your Greatness with Expert Insight

Sun, 07 Sep 2014 19:41:56 GMT

Viki Winterton, founder of Expert Insights Family of Opportunity, has invited me to join her September 9 ^th on Expert Insights – her excellent BlogTalkRadio Show. Viki brings together top visionaries and those on the rise as they share their wisdom, success secrets and the defining moments that have shaped their lives and encourages listeners to take the call to action and REALIZE YOUR GREATNESS!

I’ll be talking about how your body image affects making speeches and presentations. Since Viki has created a platform for speaking to the idea that actions speak louder than words…this is a perfect match up! I was really thrilled to find out that Viki was an attendee at one of my sessions and now I get to share with her listeners how any presentation can be more powerful with the techniques I’ve been teaching for years at Laurie Burton Training.

I know you want to succeed and I also know that there are no “secrets” when it comes to success – it’s just listening to those who have figured it out and then putting it into practice. This is what defines the successful person…they hear from others and then take action.

You can increase your confidence level for FREE by tuning into the Expert Insights BlogTalk Radio Show on Tuesday – September 9 ^th at 4PM/EST – 1PM/PT. You can listen and learn “How Your Body Image Affects Making Speeches and Presentations”… but more importantly, you can change your life and the way you do business with these techniques, adding animation and using everything you’ve got.

You can begin to impact your life and everything you do just by spending a little time with two people who really care about your success – Viki Winterton and me! Will you join us? We’ll be waiting for you and looking forward to sharing with you!

Why Doing What You Love Is All About Choices, Not About the Work

Sun, 24 Aug 2014 19:44:47 GMT

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how lucky I am to be doing what I love when it comes to something we all call work. It really hit me yesterday, as I was watching the checker at my local grocery store.

I’ve been watching this young lady do her work for several years now – from the time she started at the store, looking fresh and perky… to lately, when it seems that all of the youthful enthusiasm has slowly drained out of her.

Then I compared her to the young man doing the bagging of the groceries. He was brand new, I’d never seen him before, and so enthusiastic! He asked me: “Did I find everything I needed?” “How was my day going?” He was absolutely filled with the excitement of a new job!

Then there’s Dave…

If Dave is working as a cashier, I make sure that I’m in his line – even if the line is long! Why? Well, I know it might seem odd, but I would spend extra time in line at the store just so Dave could check me out. (And I don’t mean “check me out,” I mean check my groceries out) and this is why: Dave loves what he is doing. He is:

warm
smiling
welcoming
interested
always speaks and has something to say

It’s not because he just started this job, he’s been there a long time. So, what makes Dave so different? Why does he seem to enjoy – truly enjoy – doing something that is merely his work?

You might be thinking it has to do with his personality and you might be correct. But the young woman I described earlier had that bright-eyed enthusiasm when she first started, too. Her personality fit this work very nicely. Now, she is far less enthusiastic, less in love with what she is doing, and shows what appears to be life’s wear and tear on her face and in the way she carries herself.

Luck has little to do with doing what we love

My intention is not to give a lecture on how hard life can be (and it can) but I’m thinking that the choices you and I make play a huge role in how we do what we do, how we approach life and our work. Every choice affects these. Life is literally made up of thousands of small and major choices, every single day. You get to choose:

how you’re going to act at any given moment
one job over another
whether to turn left instead of right
to have children
to get married
to get divorced

Daily, we’re offered choices and daily, we make them. So, my point is simply this…the young woman, looking down and unsmiling, has the choice to remain down or change her attitude and become upbeat. She can choose to smile and reach out to her customers, right? I mean, she’s already made a job choice, so why not make the most of it? Why not let her work be where she truly shines and gets noticed for all the right reasons?

You can love what you do!

It is up to you to find what you love to do. It is up to you to overcome being miserable. No one can make good choices for you – the responsibility is yours alone. If you see your choice of work as just a job, what you do will leave you feeling less than good about yourself, unable to smile and enjoy what is before you to do. It will color how you see others, too. So, please, do everyone a favor. Choose to do something you really love so that you can really love what you do!

Do you do what you love? Tell me, why did you choose the work you do and how has it affected your life?

The Art of Speaking With Power and Presence

Tue, 29 Jul 2014 19:47:31 GMT

Are you reading this article because you want to learn more about being powerful and having an impressive presence when you speak or present? Or are you reading it because of the “speaking” word, an action that you avoid at all cost? Let me tell you, I have lived both sides of that coin and have developed a solution, appropriate for either reason.

First, a word about speaking

I want to be clear about that word speaking. The dictionary defines speaking as: able to communicate in a specified language. We can throw out the specified language part for now, because what I want to focus on is the “able to communicate.” My business, Laurie Burton Training, is all about helping people improve their ability to communicate and interact with others by expressing themselves through words and feelings.

For me, the word speaking isn’t just about teaching the specifics of how to take the stage, give a speech, present, or sell a product. It’s more about opening your mouth to speak with the intention of being heard. Speaking should involve being ready to take part in or lead a discussion. You are ready and willing to receive attention!

Are you really ready for the attention

Remember attention can cause tension, so you need to get straight and honest with yourself about what it means to put yourself out there for people to evaluate. My intention is to inspire you to take it on and to look at the art of speaking with power and presence – because it is an art, one that you can learn and master.

You know, we may call speaking a skill, but it goes way beyond that. It’s about your desire to face something that feels uncomfortable and scary, learning to absorb or assimilate the feelings and emotions that come with the attention and move through those moments.

Conversely, this new ability may have touched a part of you that you never realized before – the talent or skill within you to affect people and cause them to feel something – and suddenly, you may be receiving the kind of feedback you’ve never had before. I have seen this occur with many of my participants. They’re in the tension, but they are “talking” to it, making friends with it. They are standing in front of an audience, but something new is happening – they’re getting feedback from making eye contact and reaction to the words they speak. Speaking is starting to feel like something they can do.

Finding your power and presence when speaking

Say “YES” to facing your fear and see what happens. It’s the ultimate way to take your place in the world. Acknowledge how brave you are and for goodness sake give yourself credit for your willingness to say, “I’ve had enough fear about speaking, it’s time to look it in the face!” Taking this step is a step towards finding your power, presence and freedom when speaking. You’ve said, “I can do this, I deserve this!” And you do!

What was your most terrifying moment when facing an audience? What do you do to overcome fear and find your power and presence when speaking?

Embrace an Emotional Point of View for Better Public Speaking

Wed, 11 Jun 2014 19:52:23 GMT

“As none can see the wind but in its effects on the trees, neither can we see the emotions but in their effects on the face and body.”~ Nathaniel LeTonnerre.

Isn’t this a wonderful thought, put to words so eloquently? The quote speaks to the very heart of our work at Laurie Burton Training. Helping others to learn how to embrace an emotional point of view for better public speaking, more powerful presentations and communication in general, is central to our training process.

Making sure that the words you speak and the emotions behind them are expressed though your voice, face and body is what sets the true pro apart from the rest and makes the message memorable.

In a previous blog on passion and the five senses, I talked about how to begin to rediscover and embrace your senses to become familiar with your emotional and passionate responses.

There is a reason I’m so passionate about what I do!

Another way of accessing your emotions, which we’ll look at now, has to do more with the innate side of your emotional life; the emotions that have existed in you since infancy. They are inherent to your character and an important part of Presenting You when facing an audience.

It’s time to decide which parts of your basic, internal emotional life work for you – and which parts work against you. You actually do get to choose!

For example, if you have been afraid your whole life of speaking up, taking part and joining in, then it’s helpful to really look at how much that has cost you.

• Are you willing to open up that part of you and share your joy?

• When something happens that you don’t like, do you merely let it fester inside?

• Are you ready to finally start speaking up for yourself?

(Did you notice anything about what I just wrote here? I didn’t refer to other people, did I?)

I’m sure you’ve heard something similar to this before, but I want to emphasize it again – you must do the work! Keep in mind, it does not have to be major work, in fact, I think that would be asking too much of people. Instead, start with the small steps. And don’t worry…small steps, when taken in succession, add up to great strides.

Developing an emotional Point of View

Developing an emotional point of view is a deceptively simple thing to do and is a way of practicing your ‘sensory response’ to anything. Ultimately, it leads to establishing a long list of passions, which will then feed your emotional life and provide the foundation for making a great speech and speaking with passion and emotion.

Naturally, all this comes with practice.

The Emotional Point of View Exercise to help you better understand the emotional point of view.

Wherever you are right now, look up and focus on something. It doesn’t matter what object you pick; whatever your eyes land on is fine. What is your first response to it? Don’t think; simply notice how you feel about the object. You must come up with an answer – right now! Don’t “try and figure out” how you feel, trust and note your first response.

Here is an example of how the process works: I’m sitting in my office right now, writing, and I look up: the first things I see are leaves on the tree outside my window.

I ask myself, “How do I feel about those leaves?”
I notice that I feel peaceful when I look at those leaves and then I notice all the different shades of green in a particular leaf.
I notice that I’m amazed that one leaf can have so many different shades of green.

Now, I look to my left. The first thing I see is my tabletop lamp.

I ask myself again, “How do I feel about that lamp?”
My response is that I like this lamp.
I especially like the kind of light it gives.

Next, I turn my head to the right and I see the wallpaper. Once again:

I ask myself, “How do I feel about this wallpaper?”
My response is that I don’t like this wallpaper anymore. It’s boring.

Finally, I turn around and the first thing I see is my dog, Roxie.

I love this dog.
I love her coloring.
I’m struck by how beautiful she is.
And so on…

This exercise can be practiced at anytime, anywhere and is so effective for better public speaking.

Try it yourself, wherever you are at this moment. How do you feel about the world around you? What you’re doing is becoming aware of your specific emotional responses to things. This knowledge and awareness subtly, but surely, builds self-confidence and self-esteem.

The more you establish your emotional point of view, the more you will develop an ability to express yourself. This leads to a higher sense of self and, eventually, a greater freedom to express yourself…

any time
in any way that you want
to anyone that you wish

It will greatly improve your ability to connect with an audience of one, one-hundred, or one- thousand, which is one great reason to embrace an emotional point of view!

Come On Out and Express Your Vulnerability

Tue, 06 May 2014 19:57:13 GMT

I just finished watching Brene Brown give a TED talk about the “Power of Vulnerability”. Obviously, I was not the only one to watch this amazing speech (since over 2 million people have seen it) and after listening to her express herself so well, I’m not at all surprised.

During her talk, Brene asks those in the viewing audience to “let yourselves be seen” and assures us that “we/you are enough.” She ends her speech with these words. “Vulnerability is the birthplace of change, creativity, courage, and innovation.”

I urge you to watch this TED talk. It is the perfect invitation to come on out and express yourself – what every speaker who desires to be successful must be willing to do. I love how Brene speaks to the power of being vulnerable.

To be vulnerable means to be “susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm”, so the impulse to protect ourselves comes naturally; it feels like self-preservation. But living in an armored suit also keeps out the good stuff. To get the good stuff we need to be open to the not-so-good stuff, even the bad. This is where every speaker will come to, eventually, and where only a few will truly succeed. To express yourself openly and honestly is not always as easy as it seems.

So often in my work, especially with groups or teams of people, I encounter the quiet or reluctant participant. These people find it difficult to express themselves in a group environment, sometimes out of pride, but more often out of a very real fear. Being the center of attention is just too painful for the latter, under any circumstances, and I feel deeply for them. They suffer in ways that outgoing people can never understand.

As an actor, my biggest challenge was to permit myself to express vulnerability. It was so much easier to be tough and pretend I was super confident. As a course of action, my acting teacher made me do vulnerability exercises – for two years. I learned all about vulnerability, essentially how to be emotionally available and not defensive.

I learned that when I was vulnerable, I was believable.
Vulnerability taught me how to take more chances.
When vulnerable, you come face to face with your fears
Vulnerability is not cutting off your fear or running from it – but being open to it.
Vulnerability is not a weakness, but a strength.
Vulnerability is the point at which you really start to experience life and begin to feel yourself in your own skin.
Vulnerability permits you to answer “What Makes You So Special?” (A question I posed in an earlier blog).

Make no mistake – this is a major lesson of life. When you express your vulnerability, you begin to face a fear that has most likely been in charge of how you live – for a very long time. People will begin to see, hear, and feel you in a very different light. Along with this new way of being may come moments of embarrassment, self-consciousness and awkwardness that are truly uncomfortable. Try not to let these feelings lead you away from your vulnerable self. Instead, embrace where they are taking you, which is into a deeper, valuable level of self-awareness.

In time, you will discover that you are stronger, more confident and less susceptible to being hurt when Presenting You.

Remember, this is the place where you can discover:

Innate creativityChange
Courage
Innovation

The real stuff of life – the GOOD stuff … and maybe the answer to “what am I doing here?”

Start opening your vulnerable side by encouraging it.

Ask yourself what makes you feel vulnerable.
Check your first reaction to the feeling.
Take note when you avoid it, deny it, or try to shut it down.

What are some times in your life when you have felt vulnerable? Perhaps you can say some words out loud that are related to a very vulnerable time in your life to help you recreate that vulnerability. One of the best exercises I used as an actor was an “imaginary monologue.” The easiest way to describe how this works is this: You talk to someone – imagine them in the room with you and tell them how much you love them, or how they hurt you, or how you cannot wait to see them again. You can talk about any subject that will tap into and help you express your vulnerability.

Begin to listen with a vulnerable heart, as well. When others are speaking, allow yourself to be affected and permit yourself to express it. Stop judging yourself, and stop comparing yourself to others. Just be – open. That’s true vulnerability.

Once you’ve opened yourself to express your vulnerability, you’ll be amazed at the difference it makes in Presenting You. I invite you to share the differences and the changes you experience as a result.

WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL?

Mon, 21 Apr 2014 19:59:52 GMT

No, seriously. Did I get your back up? I must admit I wanted to get your attention. Hopefully, I have piqued your curiosity.

What distinguishes you from other people? What about you is unique? How would you describe your personality? OK, no more questions. I think by now you may have a feeling for the direction I’m taking.

I taught an “Acting for Film” class at USC for over 20 years. In the first class I would ask each person, when they go in to audition, what were they selling? For instance, were they selling, “the girl next door,” “the sex siren,” “the handsome leading man,” “the nerdy guy?” Most of them did not have an answer. Their homework? Next week come in with an answer. I asked them to stand in front of a mirror and describe what they saw. What was their type? What qualities or characteristics made them distinctive? I also asked them to talk to three of their friends and to ask their friends to answer the same questions about them and bring their responses back to class.

It not just actors who need to know the answers to these questions – everyone should have the answers! In the corporate world how are you being perceived? When people talk about you (and they do) what are they saying? If you are an entrepreneur, out there selling your product, on your own, how do you get them to buy if you don’t know what your personality is selling?

In order to succeed, it is essential that your feet be planted firmly in the foundation of self-knowledge.

How do we deepen our knowledge of self? You can start by doing the same exercises I gave to my kids at USC. Look in that mirror and be honest with yourself. What do you see? Are you upbeat, outgoing, friendly? Or, do you see unhappiness, discomfort, and reserve?

Who are you? What do you love? What do you believe in? What is your type? If I were going to cast you in a movie what part would you be playing? If you were to describe yourself as a color what color would you be? If you’re having trouble answering these questions, get some help. Ask your friends, family, people that you trust. We need reinforcement from others and this is a good way to get the ball rolling if you’re having trouble opening up to yourself. Be kind to yourself. If there is one message that many of us seem to revel in it’s, “I’m not…” or “I’m just…” We need to honor ourselves and who we are.

Look in the mirror – what would you like to honor about yourself today? Tell yourself, “I honor this _____ (fill in the words) about me today.” Feel where that lives in your body; feel it inside. This is important. Take in the words and the meaning. Let it become one part of what makes you so special, just for today.

Finding Your Passion: Guide to Career Change

Fri, 28 Mar 2014 20:03:20 GMT

I just finished talking with a client that I have known for some time. She is a person with a passion, a documentary filmmaker for over 15 years, whom I’ve enjoyed helping to guide through various challenges along the way.

Incredibly, straight out of college, she got a great job with a hot new cable channel, moved to New York, and has traveled the world in support of her work. She has also produced, directed, and been a cinematographer for projects such as:

video biographies of famous people
commercials
specials for major cable channels
an academy nominated documentary film
directing, producing and shooting her own award winning documentary

It would seem that she has had an interesting and exciting career, don’t you think? Perhaps. But the years behind the camera have also revealed some things to her. As I said, she is a person with a passion. Unfortunately, that passion remained ignored as she worked hard at her career in the film industry. Very recently, however, there was a change.

She admits that she is “pretty tired” of the motion picture business. Generally, she believes that people are not treated well. (I know quite a few people in this business and they all seem to agree on this point.) The hours are hideous and many find themselves nickeled-and-dimed to death over salary. It’s always the same conversation: “We can’t afford it!” or “The budget is really small.” Most importantly, the work is never consistent.

The gist of our conversation (and the reason for this article) is that my client now wants to change her career. She has a passion that she is longing to follow. She told me that she often lays in bed all night thinking about what she wants to do with the rest of her life. She’s 40 years old, a time in life when people start to rethink the job track they began directly out of college, and long for a career guided by a particular passion.

She asked herself, “What am I passionate about?” Her answer was, “Food.” She went on to describe to me the type of restaurant she wanted to open and the kind of food she would offer. She described the location she wanted, how it would look and the competition she knew existed in that area. She spoke with such passion that I, too, became caught up in her enthusiasm, energy and spirit. I have never heard her talk about her other work that way.

I told her that it was obvious to me that her unconscious had been taking a lot of notes about this change in career. She laughed, “Wow, you’re right I’ve been storing information in the back of my mind and it just all spilled out of me…came together, food!”

I don’t often hear that kind of passion when people speak. I said, “I don’t usually advise people on career changes, but the passion and excitement I just heard from you calls for a change.”

We talked about the uncertainty, but I advised that it was time to go out on that limb and take some risk. I happen to know that she is smart and blessed with incredible drive – and most important of all – people love her.

I will let you know how this all turns out. In the meantime, if you have allowed passion to guide your own career change, I would love to hear from you! Sometimes, it is the passion of another that most inspires us to find our own.

The Confidence Factor

Tue, 11 Mar 2014 20:06:19 GMT

At Laurie Burton Training we build confidence. While it is possible that a variety of things can factor into one’s lack of confidence, the most common missing ingredient is a sense of Self.

Most confident people:

Know who they are
Are Comfortable with who they are
Like who they are
Operate from who they are

You will always become a better speaker/ presenter—when able to be yourself while doing it – and here is how you do that.

Sharing yourself – your emotions and feelings – while creating a genuine connection with others can be a difficult challenge. In fact, it can be downright painful, filling one with fear and tension. A confident, inspired and creative person will find success rooted in their ability to express their life force, conveying thoughts, feelings and emotions so that others are moved by them. It’s an important factor when engaging an audience. How to do this is an art, not a mystery, and can be learned!

The ultimate challenge for any great communicator is how to cause people to feel something, to have an experience.

Once you become more aware of who you are, you can then develop an incredible, yet genuine, range of expression to impact the world around you. It can take time to develop this art, but the results can be rather immediate.

Learning these skills is invaluable. It involves becoming aware of your specific emotional responses. This knowledge and awareness, “emotional intelligence” if you will, subtly (but surely) builds self-confidence and self-esteem.

To be able to present, you must be present.

In order to deliver the message you must be present in the moment. You want to be comfortable, relaxed, capable of dealing with your tension, and confident of your abilities and worth. In other words, you must have a true sense of self.

In defining one’s self, we must start at the beginning – or the “core” of what defines you; what makes you special, unique and different. Yes, we are all special. However, many find it hard to acknowledge, because it can be considered too egocentric. But, being yourself and speaking from that foundation requires this acknowledgment. Practice this core-building “Declaration of Independence” exercise at home.

Your Declaration of Independence

Simply say positive things about yourself, out loud, to the mirror.

Here are some examples:

I like me.
I like the way I feel about the earth and my connection with nature.
I am very strong and yet extremely sensitive.
I love the fact that I am goofy, funny and not afraid to be outrageous.
I love teaching and working with people.
I’m not afraid to expose and share my emotions, which attracts people to me and helps them learn from me.
I like the way I carry myself; it matches my sense of who I am.

I know this is not easy. (I know from experience that your brain may even freeze after one or two.) But don’t let that keep you from the goal, which is to know yourself so well that these positive things soon flow, without hesitation, from your brain to your lips to be expressed verbally into that mirror.

When you know your own self so thoroughly that no one can shake your confidence you will be on your way to possessing the Confidence Factor.

The effectiveness of your message depends on your level of confidence.

Remember, it is not about being closed off to input; rather it is simply being grounded in who you truly are. This is a true test of your ability to stand in front of an audience of any size and speak, present and communicate effectively!

This knowledge of self, who you know yourself to be, forms the foundation of confident behavior. The higher the level of self-confidence and self-awareness you choose to carry wherever you go, the higher the level of confidence your audience will be able to have in your message.

The Hard Reality of Soft Skills

Tue, 25 Feb 2014 21:11:10 GMT

Soft Skills are the unsung heroes of the corporate world. Corporations have had their own aha moment regarding these skills.

Occupational requirements are one thing but in a number of professions, the hard reality is that soft skills (people skills) may be more important than, or just as important as, occupational skills.

Consider the legal profession. How successful would a lawyer be without soft skills, given the amount of interaction required of them with their clients on a very personal level and the amount of trust they must build from the very start.

The U.S. Department of Labor considers the following six skills as Soft Skills.

Soft Skill #1: Communication
Soft Skill #2: Enthusiasm & Attitude
Soft Skill #3: Teamwork
Soft Skill #4: Networking
Soft Skill #5: Problem Solving & Critical Thinking
Soft Skill #6: Professionalism

The hard reality is that a lack of Soft Skills can kill a business!

Let’s have a look at where and how one might use the above “soft skills” in the corporate world.

• You walk into work and greet your fellow workers.
Soft Skill #1: Communication

• You walk into your office, your phone is ringing and you answer with a greeting and your name.
Soft Skill #1: Communication

• You have an interview with a possible new hire. She walks into your office and you greet her with a handshake and ask her to have a seat.
Soft Skill #1: Communication
Soft Skill #6: Professionalism

• The job seeker enters the office for her interview – she smiles and extends he hand for a handshake and gives her name in an animated and enthusiastic manner.
Soft Skill #2: Enthusiasm & Attitude
Soft Skill #6: Professionalism

• You have a meeting with your team. You have noticed lately that the team’s spirit has taken a hit and you want to address the issue.
Soft Skill #1: Communication
Soft Skill #3: Teamwork
Soft Skill #5: Problem Solving & Critical Thinking
Soft Skill #6: Professionalism

• You attend a fundraiser for a local charity after work.
Soft Skill #1: Communications
Soft Skill #2: Enthusiasm and Attitude
Soft Skill #4: Networking
Soft Skill #6: Professionalism

• You arrive home to greet your husband and children.
Soft Skill #1: Communication
Soft Skill #2: Enthusiasm & Attitude
Soft Skill #3: Teamwork
Soft Skill #5: Problem Solving & Critical Thinking
Soft Skill #6: Professionalism

Another Soft Skill of my own, which I believe qualifies as Soft Skill #7: Appearance.

Your look and dress need to spell success. No thrown together, mismatched, last-minute dressing will do in the corporate world. Instead, think through your wardrobe. If you are not sure how to pull a look together, try seeking advice from a professional. It is an investment in your future, so get the help and advice from others that you need to ensure that the finished product – YOU – is attractive and appropriate. Your look should be one that presents credibility, confidence and trust.

Whether you call them Soft Skills or Intrapersonal Skills or People Skills, they are about you – how you consistently conduct and present yourself, in a variety of situations. For most of us, the best place to begin is with body language and eye contact. Your body language speaks volumes about you, revealing much when you least expect it!

• Ask yourself: Are you at ease and comfortable in your skin? Are you animated and enthusiastic when you communicate with others? Do you listen and engage?

• Ask others who know you: Do you find me to be at ease and comfortable in my own skin? Am I animated and enthusiastic when I communicate with others? Do I listen and engage?

While employing soft skills is not hard, the reality is that everyone can benefit from some level of Soft Skills Training. And the unlimited benefits realized from practicing these skills, is what makes them the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.

Do you know that you need help with Soft Skills? Would you like some easy to use tools for improving your soft skills skill-set? I have got something that has helped corporate leaders of Fortune 500 companies such as IBM, Mattel Toys, Digital Equipment, Merrill Lynch, ITT and Twentieth Century Fox with their soft skills and I would love to share it with you – just contact me, today!

How a Colorful Approach Improves Public Speaking

Thu, 13 Feb 2014 21:14:23 GMT

How many times have you heard someone say, “Oh, I don’t speak in front of people, because it’s too much pressure.” Or how about, “I get sick just thinking about it.” For many, the approach to public speaking is far from positive. But I have found that a colorful approach can be just the ticket that improves nearly anyone’s presentation skills.

I imagine that for most of us, the fear of public speaking began at a very young age, quite likely when we had to go to the front of the class for the very first time. Perhaps it was to read, present, or communicate something about which we were studying – a harmless classroom activity, yet traumatizing to many.

Were we born with this fear of public speaking? It probably seems that way. Of course, the reverse of this fear factor seems to exist in those who just love being the center of attention.

The ‘hams’ of the classroom may have had less fear of public speaking, due to their colorful approach to life.

Those who are comfortable with what I call “finding their home base” (the ability to feel comfortable in one’s own skin) are able to “wear” his or her personality with ease and confidence. Have you noticed that such people never appear to feel at the mercy of an audience?

Instead, these types can freely express themselves with any emotion. It’s as if they have become a human coloring box when they speak, present or communicate, with all the colors of emotion at their disposal. I visualize this enormous (emotional) crayon box, containing rows and rows of gorgeous colors, which somehow provides them an emotional response to any color, giving them a dynamic range of expression.

People, who have developed this skill, have the power to lead, inspire and connect in a potent and compelling way.

Take a colorful approach to improving your public speaking skills with this exercise:

Let’s try an exercise to demonstrate the power of color behind words, using the word ‘proud’.

Stand in front of a mirror.
Envision the color red.
Say the word proud, letting the color red influence the way you say the word.
Now envision the color brown.
Looking into the mirror, say the word “proud,” letting the color brown influence your meaning behind the word.

Let’s say you have a sales presentation that you are preparing. Following the above exercise, pick a color that you think will match the overall feeling that you want to convey in your speech. Would you pick red? Red would be a fiery, passionate presentation. Navy blue might make the speech more serious, while retaining a measure of warmth.

You can even pick a different color for each line or paragraph in your speech that has a different meaning. Lastly, use the different colors to emphasize individual words. For instance, you might like to use the color yellow to introduce yourself and maybe a deep purple to end your speech.

This is yet another, more colorful approach to public speaking; A new tool to add to the list of presentation skills you can use that contribute to your success as a speaker, presenter and communicator.

Have you ever used a colorful approach such as mentioned above when speaking publicly? If so, I would love to hear about it! Share your story in the comments below.

How to Get That Job You’re Due, Make an Entrance and an Exit

Fri, 15 Nov 2013 21:23:11 GMT

Rightly or wrongly, so much is decided in the first few seconds of meeting someone for a job interview or presentation. This is the point where corporate and acting careers converge. You are about to make an entrance, just as we do in show business, and at the end of the meeting, you will also make an exit.

Make an Entrance – and Make it Count!

I can’t tell you how many people (actors and business people alike) consistently blow their entrances. They throw this precious opportunity away by:

Rushing
Being led, rather than leading
Not using the room to their advantage

Making an entrance is a natural way to present and sell YOU. However, if you don’t project passion, energy and animation in the first thirty seconds of your interview, you are throwing away what may be your best chance to get the job your due or make the sale.

Easier said than done, you say? Here are some strategic tips to make your entrance count:

If the door to the room is closed, as you enter the room, close it again behind you (or simply ask if it should be left open or closed). If you close the door, don’t turn your body to close it. Feel for it with a free hand, keeping your body open and facing the others in the room.

Take your time. This can take a little practice, but trust me. It is worth it!

One important tip on closing the door correctly when entering a room – don’t ever close the door and start speaking at the same time, as this sends the message that neither you, nor your words, deserve to stand alone and be heard.

Taking Your Due

Standing with presence and acting as though you’ve earned this moment is called “taking your due.” “Due” is defined as something that is owed or naturally belongs to someone. You have worked for this moment and you deserve it. If you haven’t earned it, take care of that later, but for now, act like you have and people will treat you as if you deserve it. (This alone is a great confidence builder.)

Now is the moment when all of your talents need to be gathered up and readied for release. At this moment, you should be filled with passion, energy and animation.

Give your greeting, followed by your name if this is a first meeting. Include the name of the person you are meeting in your greeting: “Good morning, Mrs. Harrison, I’m Laurie Burton!”

Now, here is a decision that you need to make on your own, but I always make it a point to shake hands with the person I am meeting, even if I have to reach across a desk to do so. I know some people totally disagree with this, saying that it is an invasion of someone’s space. That’s fine, but if somebody doesn’t come around the desk, stand up, or welcome me in some way, there is no way I’m going to let that moment pass without making physical contact!

This is also “taking your due.” You take charge of the way you are treated.

Time to Go: Make an Exit Memorable

You’ve just had an incredible interview, so for heaven’s sake don’t mess it up by looking like one of the Three Stooges as you leave. Gather your things and place any presentation materials in your left hand so that your right hand will be free for “goodbye” handshakes. After shaking hands, as you head for the door, make sure to keep your body open to the person you are leaving behind.

When exiting a room, do not open the door with your back to the person. Open the door with your body open, perhaps by giving another simple thank you, and out you go.

One thing you do not want to be in an interview… is dismissed. As a beginning actor, I heard something very similar to the “don’t call us, we’ll call you” dismissal, far too many times. To not be dismissed requires you to gather every bit of your nerve and ask a very important follow up question before making your exit. For example:

Do you think I would be a good fit for the company?
Do you have other job requirements in mind?

Whatever the answer to you, the most important thing I’m asking you to consider is that you make yourself memorable and never allow yourself any opportunity to be dismissed.

Making an effective entrance and memorable exit require just a few simple actions.

Be confident in the knowledge that because you have so much to offer, they are lucky you came for the interview.
Be ready with a question or comment about the company—and try to be the last one to speak.
Be anything but ordinary – be extraordinary in how you present yourself.

Remember: An interview is always a two-way street, but how to get that job your due will always depend on your ability to make an entrance and an exit count as much as everything else that happens in between.

Overcoming Fear of Public Speaking is Powerful

Fri, 25 Oct 2013 20:25:36 GMT

People often cite “speaking in front of a group”, or Glossophobia, as their number one fear. The reason is that it is a very vulnerable act – knowing that they will be “seen” and “judged”- and who isn’t afraid of that? However, overcoming fear of public speaking is important, as it is one of the most powerful acts one can perform.

Just how powerful is public speaking? Well, you have probably noticed that it is first and foremost in the Bill of Rights.

To speak and be yourself is to communicate with authenticity in thoughtful, articulate ways that reflect internal balance, as well as external awareness and respect for others.

Speaking with power and presence is to take responsibility for what we say and how we say it.
Overcoming the fear of speaking publicly is to accept the fact that we cannot control the outcome of communications, but we can control the manner in which we express our own thoughts and emotions.

As you can see, speaking is much more than just the content of what you are saying. You may have brilliant information, but if you can’t get it across…so what?

Overcoming the fear of speaking involves a willingness to be seen and recognized fully. We are not usually obligated to speak, but if we desire to make an impact and have a powerful effect on those around us, it is required. To speak with power and presence requires skill. It involves taking responsibility for our innermost thoughts and emotions, while clearly communicating these to the listener in a way that invites them to consider what we are saying.

Public speaking is a form of risk-taking. Deciding to be a “risk taker” is one of the most important decisions you can make in your life because it relates to everything you do and how you do it. Do you passively watch your life go by – or are you actively involved?

Taking on risk and being involved includes:

Accepting or embracing vulnerability

Embracing a goal or inspiration that may be scary
Deciding to change whatever is necessary
Choosing to be active and conscious rather than settling for the status quo
Making friends with risk and learning to accept the feelings that accompany true risk

Powerful and effective public speaking always involves the risk of being misunderstood. Of course, there is also the paradoxical risk of being successful!

Ask yourself, is it only the fear of public speaking that you need to overcome – or is it the fear of success? Remember, real success is seldom realized without taking a risk and leaving your comfort zone.

I think this powerful quote by Mary Kay Ash says is best:

If you think you can, you can.

And if you think you can’t, you’re right.

5 Powerful Senses Ignite Passion for Better Public Speaking

Fri, 11 Oct 2013 20:32:02 GMT

Do you know your passion? A more successful life and career depend on knowing what you are truly passionate about. Passion is the most compelling part of our emotional makeup and, in many ways, defines who we are. Better public speaking begins when communicating from a passion ignited by your own 5 powerful senses.

One of the most powerful ways to express our life force is through passion. People respond to passionate expression, giving speakers the capacity to profoundly influence and affect others. People perceive us as more colorful and alive when we are intimately in touch with our passion and skilled at expressing it.

The ability to passionately express yourself can be like discovering your own personal, internal paint box, enabling you to paint with any vibrant color you want – at any time!

Passion is an essential element of our life force. It is intrinsic to our human nature. Unfortunately, most of us are going too fast, experiencing too much stress with work, family, and life in general to take stock of the 5 powerful senses that assist with stirring our passions. We take our senses, and our ability to communicate for granted, barely aware of the potential strength and power available to us through the art of speaking words, ignited by a passion.

Communications lack strength and variety when a speaker’s foundation isn’t strong and filled with a variety of passions – or even just a few that run very deep. The solution to a weak and passionless foundation is right in front of each of us, every moment of every day. And it is simply this: Put your 5 powerful senses to work for you!

Begin to:

Notice
Welcome
Examine

Every aspect of your daily life that makes you feel something, causes an emotional response, creates an image in your mind, or stirs you to take a specific action, should be noted, considered and recorded. By incorporating these passions into your daily life, you will begin to build a solid foundation from which to communicate. When you speak from this passion, your words ignite a passion in your audience – whether one or one hundred. Better public speaking results through this type of effective, successful communication.

People will respond to your passion – and to you! The following exercise will help you to find your passion – but it may not be as easy as you think!

Write down 10 things you are really passionate about in 10 minutes. Can you do it?

NOTE: Most people can think of about five things – and then, they get stuck. This is not necessarily because they do not have the answers. They simply don’t take the time to truly absorb and appreciate the things in life that really move them. They may not even recognize the innate value of their life experience and its connection to passion.

When you are in your passion, you are connected to all of your senses.

You feel self-confident
You quit doubting yourself
You naturally release your true feelings, emotions, and expressions

This connection with passion is the first step toward meaningful expression and successful interaction, because information about the world comes to us through our senses. Since it is these same five senses that stimulate our responses to life, we need to expand our knowledge of them, measure how they affect us and begin to give rise to our emotions, improving our ability to communicate.

Passionate speaking is what an audience pays to hear, and speaking passionately is one sure way to become a sought after public speaker.

Practice expanding your focus on each of the five senses. Take your time and try to find 5 to 10 new passions for each sense, using the following guidelines:

SIGHT – What do you see or what have you seen that you are passionate about? It could be anything!
Examples: Yosemite. The face of your child. A rosebud.

SMELL – What have you smelled that you are passionate about?
Examples: The fragrance of Night Jasmine. Rain on cement after a long drought.

TASTE – What have you tasted lately that you are passionate about?
Examples: Hagen Daz coffee ice cream. Spaghetti with basil, tomato, garlic, and lots of Parmesan cheese.

SOUND – What sounds have you heard that fill you with passion?
Examples: Your granddaughter’s voice. Samba music. Creek water spilling over rocks.

TOUCH – What have you touched that you feel passionately about?
Examples: A cold mountain stream. A German Shepherd puppy’s face.

Sensory experiences arouse your emotions. They occur in every waking moment – you just need to bring your awareness to them to experience the richness around and within you.

Passionate speaking results when you are talking about that about which you are passionate. But it also involves being able to communicate:

WHY you have the passion
WHAT causes (or stirs up) that passion
WHAT you do with that passion
HOW you use that passion to your advantage

Better public speaking happens when you use your 5 powerful senses to find your own true passion, and then speak from that passion to those same 5 senses waiting to be aroused within others.

If you are in need of better, more effective personal and professional communication skills, we can help – and we make it fun! Get a FREE gift when you visit LaurieBurtonTraining.com, today.

NEUTRAL POSITION – THE GATHERING PLACE OF YOUR TALENT

Fri, 27 Sep 2013 20:34:10 GMT

In a previous blog I talked about “What Are You Saying With Your Body?” In this article I want to talk about the place where your body needs to be before you start speaking – the place of “alignment” where public speaking, or any kind of speaking for that matter, begins.

You are ready to be introduced and take center stage – or ready to stand up in the middle of the group and make a presentation.

Wherever you are the focus is now on you. It’s “show time.” Suddenly, fear sets in, your body feels like it’s not connected to your brain, and you can’t remember what you were so well prepared to say. Stop! – there is help on the way and it’s called Neutral Position.

We start at the beginning. You are ready to speak, but what to do with your body. You stand in a “fig leaf” position (hands crossed in front) or a “reversed fig leaf’ (hands crossed in back) – not exactly a powerful way to express yourself. Let’s back up. We must establish a way for your body to begin to feel comfortable when all eyes are directed on you.

Speakers who are comfortable in their bodies have a lovely natural flow in the way they use them. They move over a stage, freely expressing and gesturing as they go.

Here is how to free up your body.

Neutral Position. This is the place from which all presentations originate and to which they all return. Think of this position as the source of your talent. We have neutral position in our cars – now we have one for our bodies. When the body is in a comfortable neutral, just as in cars, we are free to transition to any of our other gears or rather emotional gears.

Stand with you feet planted six to eight inches apart, in line with your legs and hips. Bring your hands to your sides and let them hang freely. WARNING – if you’ve previously been stuck in the fig leaf or other versions of holding on to yourself then standing with your hands at your side will feel very strange at first. You may feel like your hands are on the floor – like a Gorilla or you may be saying to yourself “what do I do with my hands?” You may not love this position at first, this is quite normal when you’re not used to standing in this way.

That’s fine. Let it in and let it start to work for you. Neutral is open and receptive, it says “ I am ready.” This in not a place you are stuck in but rather a place that provides a sense of flow. Think of yourself as a tree. As you stand there imagine that your feet are rooted in and supported by the earth. You are not just floating on some surface. You are rooted, grounded and connected. It is very important that you feel this connection with the earth. It has everything to do with success.

You must practice neutral position. Begin by standing still-let the position sink in. Walk around and start to talk about something, a prepared speech? Are you starting to feel a connection between the words you’re saying and your body’s response to them? Allow the meaning of the words to extend through your body, especially your arms and hands. If you want to walk, do it – just don’t pace. Return to neutral. Take a step. Return to neutral. You are leaning to take control of your presentation by being in charge of your body and mind, but not tightly controlling it.

Remember if you’re not in charge tension will be.

Hiding Behind the Tweet, Why Social Media Isn’t Social Enough

Fri, 13 Sep 2013 20:36:15 GMT

We spend more of our lives than ever on our computers, cell phones, and iPads—but what are we missing? We are missing the act of being social. Despite the label, Social Media just isn’t social enough. Why do I say this, while using a Social Media platform to get my message across? It’s not personal…and that’s my point. I know I can reach you here and you will see this message – but there is nothing very personal about the interaction with you, nothing personal about our communication with each other.

I’m talking about human communication, the kind where you use either your voice (even via phone) or where you look in someone’s eyes and talk to a real person. I know technology saves time, and, yes, with Skype, FaceTime, and others we can “see” each other. It has taken us places we never thought we would go, but my huge complaint is that it is robbing us of our breadth of human gifts of expression. Human beings speak, we express all kinds of emotions – we use our bodies to support what we are saying – powerful skills that have been replaced by a “smiley face”.

The “hiding” aspect arises every time we see a telephone number and know who it is – and don’t pick up; every time we text instead of call; every time we call instead of visit. These are all common behaviors born of technological advances that we’ve come to hide behind. It’s much safer this way. We adapted to protect ourselves.

My work is helping people to improve their presentation and communication skills, including all kinds of public speaking. What I have observed in the past few years is a major disconnect when people try to communicate in person. It’s just so much easier to ‘tweet’ it or email it. People get “off the hook” with outrageous emails and tweets that express everything from “I want a divorce,” to “we have decided to fire you,” to “I love you so much!”

My intent is to point out that major life and emotional challenges are being “tweeted” away. We are not taking emotional responsibility for what is going on in our lives. Humans are losing their humanity to technology and its way it is out of balance. There is a separation from the natural, interpersonal ways of communicating.

In the corporate world, leaders and teams have taken a major hit when it comes to building trust, respect, and understanding. Too much “tweeting” of opinions and feedback leads to misunderstanding, mistrust, and a lack of cohesion. So much of our work in the last few years has been reconnecting people with their voices…convincing people to take the time whenever possible to actually speak their “tweets.” This has not been an easy accomplishment. People feel like they are going backwards, especially in the business world.

Where are we headed – instant communication, minus the hassle of human interaction? Every day we get more attached to our computers and iphones and less connected to nature and each other.

What is the most common human body position you observe nowadays? How about a person standing or sitting hunched over with a cell phone in their hands? Whatever happened to just watching the world go by or talking with a fellow human?

We need to find more of a balance between the technological and natural worlds, because in the end, Social Media just isn’t social enough.

The Handshake: “Your Ultimate Letter of Introduction”

Fri, 30 Aug 2013 20:39:15 GMT

Have you noticed some of these less-than-effective handshakes?

> The Halfer: When I get the the “half-a-hand,” I become suspicious. Is this person afraid if they make full contact with their hand they’ll give too much of themselves? Are they uncomfortable making full contact and so offer only half? Men often shake women’s hands with a dainty “halfer” which feels like a power play, with the woman viewed as worthy only of partial engagement. Women often shake each other’s hands with a halfer as well. Are we afraid of appearing too masculine?

> The Limp Noodle: The limp handshake makes me wonder if the person is really present. I’m tempted to check for a pulse. If this is the level of energy they are offering to the world, what does it say about their personality?

The Bone Crusher: As a woman, I’m particularly puzzled by this insensitive power play. Though mostly delivered by men, there are also women who give bone crushers perhaps to assert dominance. What are bone crushers compensating for or proving? Perhaps they indicate self-importance, insecurity or maybe just cluelessness.

The Bone Crusher Pull: This relative of the Bone Crusher seeks to dominate the interaction even more by crushing the hand and pulling the person towards him at the same time. This person clearly seeks to define the interaction on his terms, not yours.

> The Push-Away: Some people give a handshake and at the same time pull away. It’s as if they can’t wait to get it over with, or end the awkwardness it makes them feel. This is a person who is not comfortable with contact.

> The Hit & Run: This person barely makes contact with your hand. They never heard your name, probably made poor eye contact and were likely too caught up in themselves to care.

A terrific handshake can confirm or cement a relationship – or start one! Practice these techniques to enhance your personal and professional image:

> The Great Handshake:

1. Face the person with your whole body, standing squarely on both feet, if possible.

2. Lean slightly towards the person—remember, you are extending yourself.

3. Offer your whole hand; don’t worry if they give you a “halfer.” You can still hold your space in the interaction.

4. Make solid eye contact

5. Bring your personality into your handshake

7. Smile!

8. Extend a sense of confidence, security and warmth.

Physical contact is at the core of the handshake and needs to be reexamined by many businesspeople as a part of the way they conduct business communication. This classic gesture of greeting is a physical exchange of who you are. Men and women alike need to be present and offer a firm, full-contact handshake. Remember, when you extend your hand, you are extending yourself and showing that you want to connect with someone. Make the contact a favorable one for both of you. There are times when a job or a deal can depend on this one gesture. All things being equal, which person would you hire: the one with the great handshake, who is energetic and warm or the one who offers half a hand, has low energy and is rather reserved?

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING WITH YOUR BODY

Fri, 23 Aug 2013 20:41:42 GMT

All great communicators share a common skill. They have the ability to express themselves freely and connect the words and emotions through their bodies.

We come equipped with wondrous tools for expressing ourselves. Our voice, eyes, face and finally our body gives us unlimited ways to communicate. Why is it then that so many of us haven’t taken advantage of all the “equipment’’ included in this model we inhabit.

For many of us our first public speaking experience took place in grade school when we had to get up in front of the class and speak. Our young egos were put to an early test and many of us still carry that fearful first experience into adulthood. We have seen the results many times.

We hide behind a podium and hold on to it for dear life.
We stand in a “fig leaf”(hands crossed in front of their bodies) position, the ultimate protection stance – or we stand in the “reverse” fig leaf with our hands behind our back. These positions are yet another way of holding on – this time to our self.
We pace back and forth.
We manifest what I call a “split” in the way we use our bodies to communicate. For instance, if we’re saying something like, “I really loved sharing this time with you,” is your voice filled with feeling? Are the words genuinely reflected in your face and body? If not, then you have allowed a “split” to occur; an interruption has taken place between your mind, body and emotions – most likely brought on by unacknowledged tension. (We will talk more about tension in another blog.) Just imagine watching a speaker who says, “I’m so excited about being here today,” while standing in a “fig leaf “position, holding on and hiding out. How about a speaker who uses the stage pretty well, seems to know how to stand with his hands at his sides comfortably, gestures with his arms and hands, but has very little emotion in his voice or animation in his face? The “split” is what happens when the message and the delivery aren’t in alignment.

It makes no difference what kinds of communicating you’re doing – business communication or personal. The fundamental link up must be present to succeed as a public speaker. If you are expressing how excited you are to be here today, then that excitement must impact your audience. Send the message through your eyes, animate your face and let your body pull it all together with a strong gesture.

YOUR BODY CAN’T HIDE; THE TRUTH WILL OUT

Laurie Burton Training has innovative and unforgettable programs that deliver results like no other personal or professional training program on the planet.

Your Name – The Most Important Thing You’ll Ever Say

Fri, 16 Aug 2013 20:44:50 GMT

How do you say your name? Most people answer this question by saying, “I don’t know, I just say my name.”

Your name is the single most important element you present in selling yourself and your product. It’s the first step in personal development. Your name is who you are. Doesn’t it follow that you would want to say it in a manner that makes a statement about who you are? It is the most important thing you’ll ever say about yourself—anything you want people to know about you can be included in those two or three words. When you say your name, it’s your “first impression” chance to impact a situation, to let your presence be known, especially in business communications.

As an actor, I learned long ago that I couldn’t just read the words of a script and expect to get a standing ovation. I had to cause people to feel something, to have an experience. It’s the same for you in business and the first exchange of words.

Remember the last time you participated in a group introduction, when each member of the group introduced her/himself, one after another? Do you remember how people “presented” their names? Odds are, you experienced one or more of the following missteps.

People say their name:

> As if it’s part of a list: “Hello-I’m-Bob-Smith-Director-of-Marketing-and-I’m-really-glad-to-be-here…”. Are you part of a list? Of course not! So be sure your name stands alone. This requires that you take your time; I call this “owning the stage” If you don’t take your time and make a statement with your name you’ve missed a great first impression.

> Hurriedly, as something to get out of the way so one can get off the spot. This is a corollary to the above “listing” phenomenon. Don’t shortchange yourself! Again, it’s time to take center stage.

> As a question: “Hello? I’m Terry Stanley?” Are you sure? Make a statement with your name, don’t ask it as a question. The “period” in your statement indicates “I know who I am – and so should you!”

> Apologetically or very quietly, as though you didn’t have the right to be there. If your self-esteem needs work, do it in private. Don’t act out your self-doubts in front of the room! Act “as if” you had the confidence and esteem – people will begin to respond to you in a whole different way, one of greater respect and admiration. Start with your name.

> Without animation or enthusiasm: If you aren’t excited about you and your business, who is? If you are excited you must animate your face and body to match – otherwise your audience won’t know it. You must have the feeling and express it – starting with your name.

> Carelessly, throwing it away . Saying your name as you walk to the podium, etc. just throwing the name away, or mumbling it.

Discounting your importance before you’ve said a word.

> Without eye contact: If you’re not looking at them I guarantee that they are “seeing you not seeing” them – and, hence, not making a connection. When saying your name you must make solid eye contact with those you’re meeting. In a larger group you can effect this by making good eye contact with just a few individuals; it’s usually not necessary (or even possible) to meet the eyes of everyone in the room.

Become aware of these subtle yet powerful tools you have for letting the world know who you are.

CHARISMA

Fri, 09 Aug 2013 20:47:52 GMT

Charisma can be defined as having the confidence to be fully yourself—your most engaging, most charming, most energetic, attractive, vibrant, alive self.

Our charisma training came as a result of a two-day workshop we did with the Marketing Director of a major corporation and his team. We were on the topic of charisma and how it applies to personal development and public speaking. “Who I am at work is very different from the person I am at home.” I commented that it must be very difficult dealing with that split personality every day. “Could it be that you are robbing your team of a whole different side of you? Your spontaneous creativity and freedom of thought get beaten down with that kind of thinking.”

Many of us are uncomfortable with using the word charisma in relation to ourselves, reluctant to claim what is special and unique about us—-which is ironic, since that’s what charisma is all about. I understand why people feel that way, but consider how much you’re leaving on the table. It’s hard to maintain the energy required to perform at your highest level when you shut essential parts of yourself down. When we stand firm and communicate from a deeper level than just the surface of our personality, we are giving our charismatic self a chance of being seen.

This young leader decided to take on developing his charisma. While the work was, at times, risky and uncomfortable, he emerged with a whole new way of being. He was still the same person but now he carried a whole new kind of energy and sense of self.

People who communicate charismatically have the ability to inspire and connect with anyone. The following quote embodies this quality and lies at the very foundation of the Laurie Burton Training.

-Martha Graham

Who do you know who freely expresses their charismatic self?

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Happy New Year

Happy New Year 2020!

I have been celebrating the New Year with the same group of friends for the last 25 years. I would love the opportunity to go deeper into my feelings of love and admiration for each person. In fact, I will bring it up before we get together the next time to see their reactions.

A Kinder, Stress-free Happy Holiday from Laurie Burton

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Just imagine how creative, imaginative, and inspiring your life can be when all the colors are exposed and at the ready for use!

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