Blog Layout

The Handshake – Your Ultimate Letter of Introduction

Laurie Burton • May 03, 2019

We spend considerable time and money on our business cards because they represent us and our company. You wouldn’t think of handing someone a bent, tattered or smeared business card. The same thinking applies to how you shake hands.


The handshake is one of the most important things we do. It is at the core of our personal development. How we shake hands speaks volumes about who we are and how we feel about ourselves, and how open and available we are to others. It’s not just our handshake that’s revealing, but also how the rest of our body takes part in this act.


Have you noticed some of these less-than-effective handshakes?


  • The Halfer: When I get the the “half-a-hand,” I become suspicious. Is this person afraid if they make full contact with their hand they’ll give too much of themselves? Are they uncomfortable making full contact and so offer only half? Men often shake women’s hands with a dainty “halfer” which feels like a power play, with the woman viewed as worthy only of partial engagement. Women often shake each other’s hands with a halfer as well. Are we afraid of appearing too masculine?


  • The Limp Noodle: The limp handshake makes me wonder if the person is really present. I’m tempted to check for a pulse. If this is the level of energy they are offering to the world, what does it say about their personality?


  • The Bone Crusher:  As a woman, I’m particularly puzzled by this insensitive power play. Though mostly delivered by men, there are also women who give bone crushers perhaps to assert dominance. What are bone crushers compensating for or proving? Perhaps they indicate self-importance, insecurity or maybe just cluelessness.


  • The Bone Crusher Pull:  This relative of the Bone Crusher seeks to dominate the interaction even more by crushing the hand and pulling the person towards him at the same time. This person clearly seeks to define the interaction on his terms, not yours.


  • The Push-Away: Some people give a handshake and at the same time pull away. It’s as if they can’t wait to get it over with, or end the awkwardness it makes them feel. This is a person who is not comfortable with contact.


  •  The Hit & Run: This person barely makes contact with your hand. They never heard your name, probably made poor eye contact and were likely too caught up in themselves to care.


A terrific handshake can confirm or cement a relationship – or start one! Practice these techniques to enhance your personal and professional image:


What Makes a Great Handshake?


1.      Face the person with your whole body, standing squarely on both feet, if possible.

2.      Lean slightly towards the person—remember, you are extending yourself.

3.      Offer your whole hand, even if they offer a “halfer”.

4.      Make solid eye contact

5.      Bring your personality into your handshake

7.      Smile!

8.      Extend a sense of confidence, security and warmth.


Physical contact is at the core of the handshake and needs to be re-examined by many businesspeople as a part of the way they conduct business communication. This classic gesture of greeting is a physical exchange of who you are. Men and women alike need to be present and offer a firm, full-contact handshake.


Remember, when you extend your hand, you are extending yourself and showing that you want to connect with someone –  Make the contact a favorable one for both of you!


There are times when a job or a deal can depend on this one gesture. All things being equal, which person would you hire: the one with the great handshake, who is energetic and warm or the one who offers half a hand, has low energy and is rather reserved?

Laurie Burton Training Blog

By Laurie Burton 22 Mar, 2022
Can you admit to becoming bored, even frustrated with your level of comfort? I can easily feel disappointment when someone I’m working with or the people in my networking groups will not be brave! I notice when people are too uncomfortable, reluctant, or afraid to extend themselves and try something new. I observe people constantly – both those that I know well and those that I have just met. It’s what I do because the core of my work is helping others to present themselves in a way that makes them stand out from the rest. After all, it’s a powerful way to get the success you deserve in a world where everyone is constantly vying for attention. When was the last time you felt brave enough to: Ask for something you really want Step out of your normal comfort zone Speak up about something you truly believe in Walk onto a stage, up to a microphone, or into a corporate setting Speaking of Up-Speak Because so many people speak in question marks today, the practice has actually been given a name. “Up-Speak” is the term for ending every sentence with a question mark instead of a period. This rising intonation at the end of every sentence causes those listening to wonder if the speaker is “sure” of what he or she is saying. It’s a real confidence killer. And while we all engage in this style of conversation from time-to-time, if overused during an interview, speech or presentation, it speaks to a lack of self-esteem and professionalism. Speaking up with confidence and authority is powerful in the following ways: Attracts and holds the attention of others. Permits you to ask for and get what you really want. Allows others to believe in your message – and have the confidence to trust in what you are saying. Speaking of Power Positive eye contact gives you the power to connect with others, inviting them in and communicating on a personal level that impacts and influences. This is how you make a difference. This is how you stand out from the rest. This is how you create more success in your life and in your work. The power of an attention-getting presentation belongs to those who will be brave – and it begins with addressing your fears. It continues with using those fears to your advantage. Here’s what I mean: One of the most common fears we all share is the fear of being judged. Since you’ll be judged no matter what you are saying or doing in this life, doesn’t it make sense to make it an engaging introduction or interesting presentation? Knowing that you’ve done a great job in reaching out to your audience results in a powerful feeling of having done your best; that you’ve succeeded in connecting with them. At this point, you’ll be prepared to let go of all expectations and judgments. Neale Donald Walsch says it this way, “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” Speaking of a New You Your job is to be the best you can be. If you’re willing to stretch your comfort zone you’ll soon experience the powerful new you who is able to enjoy: Being comfortable at a higher level Less tension, anxiety, and fear of judgment Maintained poise and composure, without hiding or sacrificing your vitality or true personality. You are free and powerful – because you are brave! 3 Brave Steps You Can Take Now When fear erodes your confidence and self-esteem it’s time to: 1. Step out of your comfort zone 2. Step up to what it is that you know you were meant to do 3. Step into the life you were meant to live I’d love to help you Rock That Interview or Raise Your Keynote. If you’re ready to get the success you’ve been craving, grab your FREE copy of Animation: The Physical Expression of Your Life Force NOW to get started!
By Laurie Burton 21 Mar, 2022
Charisma can be defined as having the confidence to be fully yourself – your most engaging, most charming, most energetic, attractive, vibrant, alive self. Our charisma training came as a result of a two-day workshop we did with the Marketing Director of a major corporation and his team. We were on the topic of charisma and how it applies to personal development and public speaking when the director made an interesting comment. He said, “Who I am at work is very different from the person I am at home.” I commented that it must be very difficult dealing with that split personality everyday. “Could it be that you are robbing your team of a whole different side of you? What effect does that have on you leadership skills? Your spontaneous creativity and freedom of thought get beaten down with that kind of thinking.” Many of us are uncomfortable with using the word charisma in relation to ourselves, reluctant to claim what is special and unique about us — which is ironic, since that’s what charisma is all about. I understand why people feel that way, but consider how much you’re leaving on the table. It’s hard to maintain the energy required to perform at your highest level when you shut essential parts of yourself down. When we stand firm and communicate from a deeper level than just the surface of our personality, we are giving our charismatic self a chance of being seen. This young leader decided to take on developing his charisma. While the work was, at times, risky and uncomfortable, he emerged with a whole new way of being. He was still the same person but now he carried a new kind of energy and sense of self. People who communicate charismatically have the ability to inspire and connect with anyone. The following quote embodies this quality and lies at the very foundation of the Laurie Burton Training. “There’s a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. If you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost—the world will not have it.” ~ Martha Graham Every client and every student I have taught has recited this quote. Their assignment has always been to “embody” or express the meaning of the words – so that when they say the word vitality they say it with energy, spirit and passion. It is through this process that they learn a new way of expressing themselves and tapping into the source of their charismatic self. Who do you know who freely expresses their charismatic self?
By Laurie Burton 06 Mar, 2021
Hello everyone.  Before I write this blog I wanted to thank all of you for being a part of, and for your interest in Laurie Burton Training. I love what I do! Helping people realize their potential and embrace their individuality. BUT, there are times when I have to “practice what I preach.”  Example: All […] The post The Greatest Communicator – Life first appeared on Laurie Burton Training.
By Laurie Burton 05 Feb, 2021
Charisma can be defined as having the confidence to be fully yourself – your most engaging, most charming, most energetic, attractive, vibrant, alive self. Our charisma training came as a result of a two-day workshop we did with the Marketing Director of a major corporation and his team. We were on the topic of charisma and how it applies […] The post Communicating With Charisma first appeared on Laurie Burton Training.
By Laurie Burton 12 Jan, 2021
Reluctant as I was to write a New Year’s post, I knew that it would be a good thing for me to go ahead and do it. I’ve always been a glass-half-full kind of  woman, so here I go. When my husband and I brought in the New Year, I didn’t know what I was […] The post Communicating in 2021 first appeared on Laurie Burton Training.
By Laurie Burton 06 Nov, 2020
Having worked for over three decades with people at every level of the business world, I’ve witnessed many aspects of the corporate experience. I’ve observed CEOs, managers, directors, vice presidents and presidents in sales and marketing, design and development, finance, legal and operations departments. The main problem I was hired to solve?- poor communications and […] The post Animation: The Physical Expression of Your Life Force first appeared on Laurie Burton Training.
More Posts
Share by: